𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗗 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 ||𝐊𝐓𝐇 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫||

CHAPTER 50

    In the dimly lit office, I sat, my fingers dancing across the keyboard. The world outside blurred into insignificance as I buried myself in work. Our company's fashion week loomed ahead, a glittering and promising distraction.

Life goes on.
Or does it?

Work—is now kind of a balm for my fractured soul. It kept me tethered to reality, a lifeline I clung to. I was grateful for the emails, the deadlines, the mundane tasks that pulled me away from the worries.

As the clock neared seven, I leaned back, exhaustion seeping into my bones. My palms met, and I rubbed them together, seeking warmth. But warmth wasn't what I found. Instead, my hands bore the phantom weight of blood, sticky and insistent.

The gun—the same one that had shattered my world—lay there, its cold metal imprint etched into my skin. I hadn't forgotten the man, the stranger whose life I'd extinguished. His eyes haunted my dreams, accusing, pleading.

I gasped, my breath catching in my throat. Sweat clung to my skin, a desperate plea for release. Not blood. Never blood. I wiped my trembling hands on my jeans, the fabric rough against my palms.

"Just sweat," I whispered, my voice fragile. "Nothing else, Yn." But the mirror in the washroom told a different story. A ghost stared back at me—pale, hollow-eyed, and broken.

I remained haunted, my hands forever tainted by the weight of a single pull of the trigger.

And the blood never washed away.

When was the last time I slept? I wondered, my own voice echoing in the quiet corners of my mind. These nightmares clung to me like shadows, refusing to release their grip. The gun—cold and unforgiving—had become an extension of my trembling hands. I shot a man, a stranger, and the memory haunted me. The weight of his life extinguished by my own desperate act.

I swallowed hard, bile rising in my throat. Just thinking about it made me queasy. Helplessness wrapped around me like a shroud.

I splashed my face with cold water, seeking clarity. For a fleeting second, I felt refreshed. But reality crashed back— confusion and loss. I was adrift, lost in the labyrinth of my own mind.

My lower lip bore the imprint of my teeth, raw from anticipation. The metallic taste lingered—a reminder of my own mortality. My blood, my guilt.

"Why?" I whispered to my reflection. The mirror held hollow eyes, devoid of emotion. Tears had carved valleys down my cheeks, leaving me numb.

I longed for solace, for someone to hold me—to absorb the ache that threatened to consume me. But it was a wish unfulfilled.

"Just trust me," a whisper echoed in my mind. Familiar, yet elusive. My own unending hallucinations, perhaps. I fell for them every time, despite knowing their deceit.

I glanced up at the mirror again. There he stood, Taehyung, behind me. His arms enveloped me, head resting on my shoulder. His breath ghosted over my skin.

Taehyung— Why did I keep seeing him? At first, I believed, jolting awake in astonishment. But now, skepticism had replaced wonder. Still, my heart raced, caught in the same loop.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. And as always, he vanished. Gone, leaving me with the ache of longing.

My psychiatrist, a friend, had offered some pills. But even they couldn't silence the ghosts that danced in my mind.

I recline in my chair, the bitter taste of medicine still lingering as I chase it down with a glass of water. My gaze is drawn to the phone resting on my desk, a siren's call that I'm struggling to resist. Just once more, I tell myself. This will be the last time. My mind is a whirlwind of broken promises, each one echoing the last.

Despite my internal battle, my hand reaches out, picking up the phone with a resigned sigh. I unlock it and navigate to my call logs. This is the last time, I whisper to myself, a futile attempt at self-reassurance. I select the voicemails.

Record#17.

"Hey love, I know you're busy... I'm just leaving this voicemail because I miss you. It's been nearly four months since our wedding, you know? Are you still upset with me? I know you're dealing with a lot, but trust me, I'm with y-"

"Yn----" The voice cuts off abruptly as I switch off the phone, startled by the sight of Jimin standing near my desk.

Panic seizes me.

His expression is all too readable. What was I doing? Listening to a voicemail from Taehyung, sent maybe two months ago when we were still on good terms. When I was just beginning to fall for him.

Am I losing my mind? It certainly feels that way.

I feel like a lunatic under his scrutiny.

"Jimin, I can explain ---" I blurt out, even though I'm at a loss for words.

"It's the hundredth time I've heard this, Yn," he says.
What? He knows?
I can only stare at him, my confusion evident.

"Yes," he sighs. "Every time you're not feeling well, you retreat to your room and play this. Do you think I don't notice?" He continues.

A knot of dread forms in the pit of my stomach.

"I--" I try to interject, but he cuts me off, "You're in love, Yn. Deeply. You can't be without him, even though he's hurt you, you can't stay away. I understand, he's the only one who can soothe you, comfort you." His words are gentle, yet filled with urgency. He pauses, looking at me. "Accept it. His voice is like a drug to you right now? Seriously, Yn? How much more are you going to endure? Just go to him---"

"Jimin..." I interrupt him, my voice barely above a whisper. "That's not true. I'm just listening to it to fuel my anger." A lie. Who would even believe such nonsense?

He stares at me, silently. We both understand the unspoken words. He doesn't say anything else, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

He's right. I'm losing control.

It's truly the hundredth time I'm replaying the same voicemail, sent months ago. His voice is the only thing that brings me peace.
Yes, that's the truth. Even if I can't control it, it's the only thing that relaxes my mind and body, in equal measure.

His voice. The way he calls me 'love'. I'm trapped in this vicious cycle.

I'm truly at my wit's end.

A/n: someone's madly obsessed. Ah! I love this! Obsession thingy uk... ;)
That longing feeling deep in your heart even though you "must" hate them.
Bwahahaha😂🧍‍♀️

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