Lost in Seoul | Lee Felix

12

I sat nervously on a chair in the waiting area. I had the number 234 pinned to my top. My outfit was simple: blue skinny jeans and a white top. My number was called, and I walked into the room in my high heels.

There were two women and a man sitting there, immediately starting to converse in Korean and scrutinizing me critically. "We know you," one of the women finally said with a strong Korean accent. I smiled warmly. "That's nice! I'm glad I can be here," I said, waiting for them to tell me what to do.

Normally, you'd have to walk up and down, sometimes they'd put you in different clothes and let you walk again. But the woman just looked at me. "You are too big," she said. "Big?" I asked, confused. Normally, I was told I was too small. I'm sure she meant tall, right? It was the language barrier.

"You won't fit in any of our clothes. You are too fat," she said. I looked at her, puzzled. "Fat?" I asked. They all nodded, conversing again in Korean. Tears welled up in my eyes. Was I really too fat? I hadn't walked the runway in a few years.

Was it because of this? I always thought it was because of my height. I had stopped working out much lately, going to fancy dinner dates with Felix and eating things he baked for me. I never even thought about it. But now, as I left the room, I looked at the other girls still waiting. They were thinner than me. You could see abs on some of them.

I changed into my comfortable sneakers and looked at myself in the mirror in the waiting area. My legs looked short and chubby in those skinny jeans. I always hated skinny jeans and how they looked on me. I felt my eyes stinging and had to hold back my tears. I would go for a run first thing when I got home.

Actually, I just wanted to cry, but Felix would be home already, and I didn't want him to worry. I took the subway home and let myself in with the key I got from the boys. "You're back!" Felix said happily. "Yeah," I mumbled. "Did you get the job?" Changbin asked. "No," I said, disappearing into Felix's room.

I couldn't talk about it, or I would start to cry. I searched for the workout clothes I brought with me. Felix came in. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I'm fine," I mumbled. "Did something happen at the casting?" he asked, not believing me. He sat down on the floor next to me, where I was searching through my suitcase. "No," I mumbled. "Is it because you didn't get the job? That's fine, Sunshine," he said.

"No, it's not that... it's... really, it's fine," I mumbled. I found my leggings and my sports bra. Normally, I would just change in front of Felix; there wasn't anything that he hadn't seen anyway, but now I didn't want him to see me. I felt like a pig. He looked after me as I walked out the door and into the bathroom.

Chan met me halfway and looked confused. "Is she okay?" he asked Felix. I could hear them through the closed door because Felix came after me, and they were now standing in the hallway. "I don't know. She is upset, but she won't tell me," he answered. "Maybe because she didn't get the job?" Chan suggested.

"No, that's not it. Something happened," Felix said. They tried to talk quietly, but I pressed my ear to the door. "Should I talk to her?" Chan asked. "No, it's fine. I'll handle it," Felix answered. Then he knocked on the door. "Hey, Baby? Do you need help?" he asked softly. "I don't need your help in the bathroom," I said, now annoyed that he wouldn't let it go. I would start to cry if he continued. I changed into my running outfit and walked out again. "I'm going for a run," I said. I didn't wait for an answer and left through the front door.

***

Felix let himself fall onto the sofa next to his friends, who were playing Mario Kart. "Is she alright?" Hyunjin asked. "No. She went for a run. She hates running," Felix answered, "I don't know what happened at that casting, but someone upset her." "Maybe you should do something to cheer her up," Changbin suggested.

"Maybe... I'll make her some brownies. She loves brownies," Felix mumbled, before going to the kitchen. Lee Know came in after him. "Can I help you?" he asked, already taking out all the ingredients. "Sure," Felix answered, lost in his thoughts. "She's very lucky to have you, Felix," Minho suddenly said.

Felix looked at him surprised. "I feel like I failed," he mumbled. Minho furrowed his brows. "You didn't fail. It's not you who made her upset," he answered. "Yes, but I failed to cheer her back up. She didn't even look at me," Felix said, starting to mix the ingredients. "She will be very happy when she comes back and has fresh brownies," Minho said. Oh, was he wrong.