atsushi angst oneshots

An accidental suicide.

TW: BLOOD, GORE, SH, SUICIDE, ACCIDENTAL SUICIDE AND POSSIBLE OTHER TRIGGERIBG TOPICS! BEWARE

A/N: I'm sorry I've been gone so long, I haven't been doing well and I still really aren't, fanfic writer luck I suppose lol. I'm slowly getting better but I just haven't had time or have been motivated to actually write. but I'm back and I'm hoping to post a second time this week if I can! I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for your patience ♡♡ also spelling errors and grammatical errors are guaranteed!!!!!

Cold and shiny, a fresh, untouched and unstained blade. Pressing harshly down as it drags across my skin, ripping it open and leaning gaping gaps in my skin. A sharp and harsh intake of breathe as my eyes water and I try not to cry. As I try not to make any sound.

My back was pushed against the wall of the bathroom. the ada had one bathroom in the building, it was a small room. a toilet, a sink and a mirror that hung above the skin. the mirror was broken and was barely functional thanks to dazai breaking it a couple weeks ago.

it was cold. freezing. I struggled breathing while sitting in this room and the blade continuously skimming and destroying my skin really wasn't helping. I could feel my hands shaking as I continued to cut, over and over again.

I dont even remmeber why I locked myself in here. I just did. getting up from my seat, holding back tears as I walk into the cold room and locking the door behind me. I cried for a few minutes before I began pushing the blade into my skin. that had to be atleast an hour ago and the first incision I had originally made in my skin was still bleeding and forming a puddle.

it made my head faint and felt as though I may pass out at any moment if I just allowed myself to slip. I don't think I'm making it, now that I think about it. if I scream or am loud enough maybe I'd be saved by yosano and be left was healed scars that would make me want to add even more.

maybe I'd stay silent, die alone and believing everyone wanted it. that they been plotting to try and kill me all along.

shakily, a sigh left me pale lips. blood loss was weird... it made me pale, every aspect of me. I had stood up a bit ago, grabbing the mirror off the wall and slumped back down. it laid next to me, angling at my face.

a soft knock on the door stopped the delusion and blade from continuing to drag across my stomach. I didn't move the blade from my skin, just holding it there an letting to blade gradually cut through the many layers of my skin.

"atsushi? are you okay?"
no, I wasn't but I wasn't going to jut admit that. I couldn't even speak to actually give a response.

I choked a sob as the blade reached to depths I never had before. I was bleeding severely. blood oozing out of the wound all over the floor. specks of black clouded my vision and with that my head hit the wall then fell limply. my hands fell to my lap and a last and final breathe escaped me. all I could see in my last moments was the floor fully red and the door breaking as someone kicked it down.