Back to the Beginning

Chapter 7 - Jackson

(I decided to skip Jolene's Pov this chapter since the rest of the night was pretty much a blur to her)

Jackson

I got an Uber for me and Jolene. She was barely able to walk, and I didn't feel like carrying her all the way to my dorm from the bar.

We were sitting in silence in the Uber until I heard a small almost inaudible voice.

"Thank you." She said in a voice that sounded like she felt like the most helpless person in the world.

"The guy deserved it." I said plainly.

Half-way through the Uber ride I felt something heavy on my shoulder.
She had fallen asleep.

When the the Uber stopped in front of our destination I picked up Jolene and threw her over my shoulder.

"So this is what a Hockey players ass looks like up close and personal." She said while laughing .

Jeez. She really was wasted.

We got up to the dorm, and I was going to set her on Chases bed, but it was absolutely filthy. The guy was not exactly the cleanest. So I set her on my bed instead.

I went in my drawer and grabbed her one of my t-shirts and shorts. She couldn't have been comfortable in the clothes she was wearing.

"Here, you should put this on. What you're wearing can't possibly be comfortable." I said while handing it to her.

She held up the t-shirt to look at it.

She chuckled a bit.
"Hey, this has spider-man on it. Just like your Lunch box."

I froze for a moment.
I can't believe she remembered that.
I barely remembered that.
It was so long ago.

I changed the subject.
"I'm going to go change in the bathroom, you can change in here, while I'm in there."

I went in the bathroom and put my hands over my face.
I needed a minute to breathe.

I changed out of my clothes and brushed my teeth, giving her plenty of time to change into my clothes.

When I walked out she was sitting on my bed. She seemed a little bit more sober, still kinda drunk though, but at least she could form sentences at this point.

We both just stared at each other for a moment.

I grabbed a spare blanket and pillow and began to set them up to sleep on the floor. There was no way I was sleeping on Chases bed either. That thing was filthy.

"Jackson..." I heard her say in a quiet voice.

"Yeah?"

"Can you sleep by me?"

"Won't you be uncomfortable?" I asked confused.

"Im sorry... I know you don't want to. I'm just scared I'm too drunk and going to choke on my vomit in my sleep.. I know it sounds stupid but that's how my dad died... "

I got up off the floor and sat next to hear as she laid facing away from me.

I froze.
"I didn't know your dad died."

She paused.
"I found out a year ago. He had already been dead for a year though."

I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know why she was telling me all of this.
I guess she was in a truthful mood.

I always wondered why she decided to hate me that one random day in middle school.

If I was ever going to find out, now was the time to ask. Otherwise, I might never find out.

"Jolene..."

"Hmm?" She said almost half asleep. Her eyes were closed as I sat on bed next to her as she laid down.

"Why did you decide to start hating me that one day? The day we stopped talking. You told me you hated me out of nowhere. I just never understood."

She said nothing.
Maybe she wouldn't tell me like I thought she would.
Right when I was about to just give up and go to sleep, she started talking.

"Scarface.... That's what you called me that day. You said other things too, but that one hurt the most. I expected it from everyone else, but not you Jack."

I froze
She did hear me that day.
I had my suspicions, but I convinced myself she didn't hear it.
I convinced myself that she hated me the whole time we were friends and eventually just got fed up.

This whole time she had every right to hate me.

I'm happy that in this moment she was facing away from me. I couldn't bare to see her face right now.

Immense guilt filled my whole body.
She had to have been so hurt and it was all because of me.

I finally got the courage to speak.

"Jolene... I'm sure it doesn't matter hearing this from me now, but I didn't mean any of those things. I just said it because I wanted to fit in. It was probably the stupidest thing I've ever said. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Jo."

I feel so stupid.
She was my best friend.
I was probably the only person she trusted and I broke her heart.

I remember seeing it in her eyes that day when we were walking home.
Her eyes had lost that sparkle.
Now it makes sense why her eyes were all puffy.
She had to have been crying all day.

I waited for a response.
Nothing.

She fell asleep.

I just stared at her for a moment.
She had a piece of hair covering her face, so I gently tucked it behind her ear.

She really was beautiful.
I got so infuriated with that guy who tried hurting her tonight.
I'm a hypocrite.
I wanted to save her, but now knowing she heard me that day, I'm the one who probably hurt her the most after all of these years.

She seemed so different ever since I had reunited with her.

Tonight I saw that deep down she's still that girl I fell in love with growing up.

I wonder what would've happened if I never said those things about her.

Where would we be today?

I took one last look at her face.
It reminded me of when she would sneak in through my window late at night and fall asleep in my bed.

She had the same look on her face that she had back then when I'd glance over and see her sleeping in my bed.

While she was asleep, I grabbed her clothes and threw them in the washing machine, so they would be clean for her tomorrow.

I got into bed next to her and tried to wait for her clothes to be done being washed so I could put them in the dryer, but I could feel myself dozing off and before I knew it, I was completely asleep.