Back to the Beginning

Chapter 12 - Jolene

⚠️TW: This chapter contains heavy themes regarding eating disorders⚠️

Today is me and Jack's second day volunteering at the daycare together. I have to admit, it's got me pretty stressed. I haven't seen him since the last time we volunteered. I could've sworn we almost kissed, but I'm definitely just being delusional.

Jack texted me this morning saying we should get Lunch before we go to the daycare. I wanted to say no, not because I don't want to see him, it's just.. I don't like eating in public. Unfortunately all of the weight I lost didn't come from a healthy diet or exercise.

When I moved states when I was younger, I wanted to completely start over. I wanted to leave the old version of me behind along with my father. I was tired of being teased because of being overweight. I wanted the weight gone. Fast. I started purging. It's a decision I wish I could go back and change. If I knew it would affect the rest of my life, I would've never started.

I am, and have been at the point where I'm happy with my weight, but it doesn't matter. Every time I eat I feel sick to my stomach. It's like my brain and body had become so accustomed to it so now it's become like a reflex. It no longer feels like an option, which is why I don't like eating in public. If I'm going to be sick to my stomach, I want it to be in my own bathroom.

I don't really have time to think about this anymore. I just need to get ready. I haven't even showered or brushed my hair. I need to get it together.

I showered and put on a cute pullover sweater, some flared leggings, gym shoes, a little makeup, and put my hair in a messy bun.

By the time I was done getting ready a heard honking coming from outside.
God, is he going to do that every time?!

I whipped out my phone and texted him.
- I'm on my way down. Stop honking your horn you maniac.

The message was immediately opened.

The bastard started honking his horn louder....

I rush downstairs so he would stop.

I get in the car and start smacking his arm, while he couldn't stop laughing.

"It's not funny! Anyways, where are we going? What were you thinking for food?"

He looked me up and down.
"Well we're not going anywhere until you put that damn seatbelt on."

Before I could do anything, he reached over me, grabbed the seatbelt and strapped me in. God... why was that so hot. I could feel my face flush a bright shade of pink.

"There's a Red Robin right by the daycare, is it cool if we go there? I could really go for their steak fries right now, plus they give you a balloon there." He said in the most serious tone ever.

"Well, you know my love for compressed air in bright colored rubber. Sounds good to me."

He chuckled. God I love his laugh.

He started driving, and soon enough we reached our destination.

We got up to the front by the host, so we could be seated. The host brought us to our seats and we both sat down across from each other in a booth.

Before I could even start looking at the menu, Jackson got up.

I gave him a questioning look.

"I'll be right back, I just have to ask the host something."

When he got back we both looked at the menu. I don't want anything, but I'll look weird if I don't order anything.

Soon enough, the waitress came by to take our orders.