Back to the Beginning

Chapter 8 - Jolene

''Jolene...i'm sure it doesn't matter hearing this from me now, but I didn't mean any of those things. I just said it because I wanted to fit in. It was probably the stupidest thing I've ever said. I'm sorry Jo. I'm so sorry."

I froze.

Words wanted to come out of my mouth but nothing was happening. Not that I even knew what to say.

I think i've had enough for today. I'll deal with this tomorrow. I decided to not say anything, especially in this state of mind. I'm still pretty wasted to be fair.

As I was falling asleep it felt like something warm had grazed my cheek for just a moment. Before I could think more into it, sleep had entirely consumed my body.

"I wish I didn't even win custody. Fuck, i didnt "win" custody. I got stuck with you because your mom cheated. I got screwed over by her twice. That bitch screwed me over by screwing another guy and she screwed me over again by dumping me with you."

I looked up at my father holding a nearly empty bottle of tequila in his hands.

I've had it.

"Maybe if you weren't such a horrible husband she wouldn't have cheated."

I could see the anger on his face.
The vein in his forehead was practically popping out of his head and smacking me itself.

Before I could even think, I saw the bottle coming for my head.

My body jolted up in a panic.
My heart was pounding in my chest.
I looked down at my hands as they were shaking.

I hadn't even noticed until now that Jackson had been woken up by my sudden outburst.
I couldn't hear his voice over the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Suddenly I felt warm arms hugging me tightly.
It felt nice.
It was slowly calming me down as I began melting into it.
The sound of my heartbeat faded and I could now hear Jackson speaking.

" I read somewhere that hugging someone tight helps relieve the symptoms of a panic attack. I guess the pressure is supposed to help slow down someone's heart rate and relieve anxiety. Um.. Is it working? Or do I just look really stupid right now?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I feel better. Thank you." I said with a light smile.

I pressed my hand to my scar for a moment, recalling the memory I had just re-lived in my dream.

When I set my arm down, I took a look at my apple watch.

The time read 10:30.

"Holy Fuck! I have to be at a class at 11:00! I have to get back to my dorm to get my stuff!"

I quickly got up and started looking for my clothes.

"Jackson, where are my clothes?"

" I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a class this morning... I threw them in the washing machine last night, but I fell asleep before I could put them in the dryer...Just keep the shirt and sweatpants, I have plenty." he said with a guilty expression.

"Are you sure? I can wash them and bring them back to you."

"No really, it's okay. Like I said, I have plenty of crappy t-shirts and holy sweatpants." he said with a reassuring smile.

I gave him a soft smile, hoping he would view it as a thank you.

I grabbed the rest of my things and started heading out the door. I was about halfway out the door when I remembered what he had told me last night.
The truth about all of those horrible things he had said about me all of those years ago.

" Hey Jackson.."

He looked at me "what's up?"

I was too nervous to look at him so I faced towards the hallway.

"...I know you probably thought I was sleeping when you were talking about this but um..
I heard what you said.. About how you didn't mean all of those things you said about me that day... I just want you to know that... I forgive you. Can we maybe be friends?

I had finally looked over at him to see his reaction.
He looked dumbfounded.
He shook his head for a moment, his stunned expression faded and he began to walk over to me.

He stopped in front of me and held out his hand for me to shake.
I shook his hand with a bit of confusion.
"Friends." he said with a smile.

I released his hand remembering that I have to be in class in less than 25 minutes now.

"I really have to go, Bye Jack!" I yelled while sprinting out the door.