narrative
back to original time
Caitlin pov
I watch as Kate kisses Laura. she kisses her strong.
stronger than she kissed me.
"times up," Jada laughs.
they pull apart and smile. smile.
Kate almost immediately looks at me and can tell that im upset.
why am I upset? that's what im asking myself.
"uh- well," Molly laughs. "Caitlin, truth or dare?"
"truth," I say.
"who was the person you kissed when you were drunk?" she asks.
oh shit.
Kate's eyes widen.
"I already told you," I say. "it was Connor."
"I can tell when you're lying cc," Molly says.
"um," I stutter, "I seriously don't want to talk about it."
"why?" she asks.
"because I don't want to, okay?" I yell.
"okay," Molly puts her hands up. "sorry."
"Caitlin," Kate gets my attention. "can I talk to you in the other room?"
"uh- yeah," I respond.
we walk into Kate's bedroom and I sit down on the bed.
"what's going on with you?" she asks.
"do you want the truth?" i ask.
"yes," she says, "i do."
"I've just felt really awkward lately and I don't know why. I also just really don't want people to know about our kiss because I don't want them to know, well you know."
"no," she pauses, "I don't know."
"that there might be a chance of me liking girls or something," I whisper.
"Caitlin, they already know," she says. "that you like girls I mean."
"how?" I ask. "I don't even know."
"sometimes you can just tell," Kate says, sitting down next to me.
"yeah," I mumble.
"why have you been acting weird about Laura?" she asks.
"I honestly don't even know," I tell her. "I wish I did. I just want you to be happy but I get this weird feeling about her."
"like what?"
"I can just tell that it's not going to work. you literally said that you don't like femmes two weeks ago," I say.
"well I like her," she says.
"are you sure you're not just convincing yourself that you do?" i ask. "because if you are, I can understand where you're coming from and I can help."
"im sure- wait," she pauses, "what do you mean 'you know'?"
"I don't think I like Connor," I say. "you were right, it's platonic love. at this point im not even sure it's that. I guess our whole relationship I've been trying to convince myself that I like him because my parents like him so much."
"when did you realize that?" she asks.
"a long time ago," I say. "I just didn't want to admit it. he's been fucking awful lately. asking me for nudes, even though I've told him numerous times im not comfortable. he keeps on trying to have sex with me, but I don't even see myself having sex with a man ever again."
I stop talking.
"fuck," I whisper. "I think im like full on gay."
a tear falls down my cheek.
Kate pulls me in for a long hug.
"I love you, okay?" Kate says. "no matter who you are. even if you marry Connor for some stupid reason. I'll always love you. you're my best friend." friend. "you could quit basketball and go join the drama club, I'll. always. love you. just know that you are loved and supported no matter what."
"thank you Kate," I say through tears. "you're my favorite person."
"you're mine," she smiles. "do you want to stay over tonight?"
"please," I smile.
we hug again before walking back out into the living room.
"are you okay?" Molly asks.
"yeah," I sniff.
