narrative
Kate pov
we make it to the house that the party is at and walk inside. there are already a bunch of drunk college students dancing and grinding up on each other.
"do you want to get a drink?" Caitlin yells over the loud music.
"yeah," I yell back.
I walk over to the kitchen where the drinks are and Caitlin downs three shots.
"DAMNNN!!" this boy yells. "she goin crazy."
"it's three shot," she says.
"it's hot," he takes a step forward.
I grab a beer and watch the boy very closely.
"uh- no," she says. "this is not happening."
"you don't have a choice," he laughs.
"BITCH YES THE FUCK SHE DOES," I scream before punching him in the face.
"what the fuck?" the boy yells, grabbing his face.
"no means no, dickwad," I say.
"come on Kate," Caitlin says, gesturing to a less crowded area.
I follow Caitlin and we sit down on the couch. i slouch down and put one of my arms on the back of the couch, and the other holding my beer.
"how are things with you and Laura?" she asks.
"we having really been talking as much and nothing happened," I tell her. "I don't think it's going anywhere."
"oh," she says. "im sorry."
"no, it's fine," I assure. " I don't care too much. I never liked her a lot anyway. I think you were right."
"about what?" she asks.
"my convincing myself that I liked femmes," I respond. "I guess I only really said yes to her because the opportunity to go out with someone presented itself."
"that makes sense," she says.
"I guess I just really wanted a girlfriend," I laugh.
"sometimes it's hard not to have that person in your life," she says. "even though im technically dating Connor, knowing that I don't actually like him makes me feel lonely. like im not actually with someone who I want to hold and love me."
"yeah," I say over the music which has gotten louder.
"do you want to find somewhere to talk that's more quiet?" she yells.
"sure," I yell back.
we run down the same hall as last time until we reach the same golden door.
"nostalgic," she laughs before opening the door.
"the piano is gone," I observe.
"sadly," she says. "I'd love to hear you sing again."
"that will never happen again," I laugh. "at least not when im sober."
Caitlin walks over to the side of the room and sits down on the cold floor.
I come and sit down next to her. "when do you think you'll tell Connor?"
"I think I'll probably just break up with him at some point and he'll figure out online if I come out someday."
"if this were any other guy, I would say that they deserve an explanation," I say. "but not Connor, he's been a dick to you."
"he's stopped asking for stuff," she tells me. "but he still acts really weird towards me."
"are you okay?" i ask.
"yeah?" she laughs. "do I look injured?"
"no, I mean mentally."
"I think so. sometimes it's hard because I grew up and went to a school with kids who believe that being gay was the worst thing that could happen to you. of course my parents are fine with gay people, but I still have a lot of internalized homophobia," she vents.
"I completely understand that," I tell her. "is there anything I can do to help?"
"just stick with me," she says. "I really don't want to lose you."
"you'll never lose me, Caitlin."
we sit here staring at each other. her eyes travel from my eyes to my lips and back up to my eyes again.
we both start to lean in before I hear the door open. we both quickly spring back and scootch a few feet away from each other.
"is this a bathroom?" a drunk boy asks.
"no," I respond.
the boy slams the door shut and I hear footsteps walking away outside the door.
"um- well I should get home," she says.
"oh, uh- yeah, me too," I reply.
"see you tomorrow at practice," Caitlin says before running out.
what the fuck did I do.
A/N- prepare to hate life in the next chapter.
