Too Far Gone // D. Dixon

chapter nine

Daryl and Maren left the others, desperate for food and water. Daryl appeared absolutely exhausted, searching the ground for any sign of tracks. Maren watched him closely, keeping her guard up as they walked through the woods.

Daryl stopped abruptly, causing Maren to follow suit, "Daryl?" she asked, concern lacing her voice, "What is it? Why have we stopped?"

Daryl looked around at the dry field before them, frustration evident on his face, "It's too dry...There ain't nothin' here," he said, disappointed.

Maren moved closer to him, observing his distant demeanor, "That's not what's actually bothering you, is it?" she asked, her voice gentle but firm.

Daryl's words came out with frustration, "You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!"
Maren didn't take his outburst to heart, recalling the pain she had seen in him before.

She remembered the day he had carried Beth's lifeless body in his arms, she had watched the sight glumly. She had never seen Daryl shed a single tear until that day, he couldn't bear to look Maggie in the eye as he carried her dead little sister in his arms. Maren was sure that was what had him feeling this way.

"Daryl, listen to me," she spoke softly. "It's okay to feel things. You don't have to hide how you actually feel. It's...human. You're human."

Daryl interrupted her, his voice filled with anguish, "You see all those people back there? I gotta be strong for them, Maren. I ain't got no choice."

Maren understood his perspective but refused to back down, "You think they expect you to just bottle all of this up? No, they don't. They want you to be okay, Daryl, because they care about you."

Daryl looked up at her, his eyes searching for answers, "And you...why the hell do you care?"

Maren gulped, sensing Daryl's unpredictable nature, "I care about you," she admitted, "I see the kind of man you are, Daryl Dixon. You're a good man, I've seen it, and somehow you act like you don't want anybody to know that. So you tell me why the hell that is, huh?"

Daryl struggled with his emotions, haunted by Merle's lingering voice in his head, telling him he didn't belong anywhere, "Because, Maren, I ain't good."

"Yes, you are," Maren insisted, her voice firm.

"No, the hell I ain't!" Daryl's voice cracked as he raised his voice, "I was with them, for fuck's sake. I heard them talk about you, day in and day out. I shoulda known the kind of people they were, but I stayed. Maren, I fuckin' stayed."

Maren stood still, taken aback by his sudden confession. She couldn't bring herself to speak. She had known he'd been with that group, both unknowingly and unintentionally being with her captors, but she had already forgiven him for that. He didn't know.

"You want to know if it's true, then?" Maren looked him in the eye, making Daryl come to understand exactly what she had meant.

Daryl didn't move, his eyes carefully and methodically watching Maren. He noted how her voice was filled with vulnerability, yet she still was as strong as ever.

Maren nodded, her voice barely a whisper, "It's true, Daryl. All of it."

Daryl dropped his head, taking in what she had said. Every word that those Claimers had said about her was true. The way they had bragged about finding a vulnerable, lost woman and just how perfect she was. He remembered the sick way they had discussed her body, going into unmistakably gruesome detail about all of the things they were going to do to her when they found her. During that time, he had just wanted to find a way to be on his own again, just like Merle had convinced him he would be better off as. If only he'd have taken that more seriously at the time.

With that, the pair stood in the clearing, their shared silence encompassing the weight of their pasts and the uncertain path that lay ahead.

- TOO FAR GONE -

They'd kept at it for a little while longer. Still desperate and still hungry.

Daryl spoke up again as they continued walking through the woods, their steps careful and cautious. His voice was softer than before, filled with a mixture of sorrow and regret, "I'm so sorry, Maren," he said, his words barely above a whisper.

Maren turned to him, her expression a mix of surprise and understanding, "It's not your fault," she assured him gently, "I really should have been more careful out there, less obvious on the road."

Daryl shook his head, his eyes downcast, "If they wanted to find ya, they would've. Ain't nothin' would've stopped them. Don't you be thinkin' shit like that."

A smile tugged at the corners of Maren's lips, a flicker of relief crossing her face. For the first time, someone knew her secret, and it felt like a weight had been lifted. But that newfound vulnerability also made her nervous.

"Listen, could you keep what you know between us?" she asked, her voice tinged with apprehension, "I don't want the rest of the group to know...it's not something they need to know anyway."

Daryl looked back at her, his face inscrutable. After a moment, he nodded in understanding. Daryl understood, he had been just as silent about his past, his upbringing and his very complicated and heavily misunderstood relationship with his brother, Merle. He had kept his scars, both literal and metaphorical, to himself. He had carried his own past and scars in silence for a long time, understanding that need for privacy.

"You don't want 'em to look at ya different, I get it."

Maren nodded, relief washing over her, "Do you?" she asked, her voice wavering, "Do you look at me differently now? Knowing what they did to me..."

Daryl wasted no time in responding. His eyes locked with hers, filled with unwavering sincerity, "Nah. You're still you, Maren. There ain't a damn thing that can change that. And don't you forget it."

A fleeting smile graced Maren's face, touched by Daryl's words. Suddenly, Maren's attention shifted as she spotted a lone deer in the distance, "Look!" Maren spoke in a hushed whisper, pointing to a lone deer.

She raised her gun, her hands steady, her aim focused. The deer looked back at her, unflinching in the face of danger. Maren slowly and steadily squeezed the trigger, and the shot rang out through the woods. The deer fell to the ground instantaneously, its life now extinguished.

She turned to Daryl, "You're a damn good shot," Daryl had said, a genuine smile gracing his lips—an expression that had been absent for far too long.

Maren returned the smile, a sense of growth and empowerment coursing through her veins, "I know," she replied more confidently now, her voice filled with newfound confidence.

In that quiet moment, surrounded by the serenity of the woods and the echoes of their shared pain, Maren realized that she was no longer the naive girl who had entered this harsh world. She had grown stronger, resilient, and capable of facing the darkness that lay ahead. And with Daryl by her side, she knew they could weather whatever challenges came their way, together.

In that moment, she felt a newfound strength building within her, a resolve to leave behind her naive self. To leave behind the girl she once was, just as she had killed the naive deer that now lay on the ground just feet away from her.