Too Far Gone // D. Dixon

chapter twenty-five

"How the hell are we gonna tell Rick?" Maren let out a heavy sigh, her arms crossed protectively in front of her as she contemplated how to break the news to Rick. She knew he wouldn't like it, but it was just something she needed to do.

Daryl placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll figure it out." Just then, Rick's voice rang out from behind them.

"Tell me what?"

Maren inwardly cringed, realizing there was no more avoiding this conversation, "We're...going on a run." She began cautiously, watching the man before her eagerly.

Rick's brow furrowed, "Where to?" He paused, then offered, "I might be able to get a couple more to go with you two."

"No, that's not necessary," Maren quickly interjected, a bit too quickly, "We'll be going alone, just the two of us."

Rick studied them both, his shrewd gaze not missing the weight behind their words, "You aren't really going on a run, are you?" he stated matter-of-factly. Maren averted her eyes, unsure of how to proceed.

Daryl stepped in, his voice measured, "There's somethin' we gotta take care of. Won't be gone more'n a few days...maybe a week if somethin' goes sideways."

Rick was silent for a long moment, considering their words, "I don't like it," he finally said, "but are you sure you don't want a crew?"

Maren shook her head, "This is something I need to do alone..." She glanced up at Daryl, offering him a small smile, "Daryl's the one I trust. You and I both know I'll be perfectly safe with him." Rick's stern expression softened, and he nodded, glancing between the two.

"That I do know," he placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder, "Just be careful out there, okay? If you need help, you know we'll come find you." Maren and Daryl exchanged a silent, grateful look, nodding in acknowledgment.

"I'll let you all take one of the trucks," Rick continued, "That way if you find supplies on the road, you can bring 'em back." He squeezed Daryl's shoulder, "Be safe out there. You know what to do."

With that, Rick turned and headed back to his patrol duties, leaving Maren and Daryl alone on the porch. Daryl let out a slow breath.

"We best get some rest," he said, his voice low, "Gonna need to be ready to go first thing in the mornin'." Maren smiled up at him, her anxiety easing slightly.

"Yes, sir," she replied, the familiar playfulness in her tone earning her a chuckle from Daryl. Together, they retreated into the house, both knowing that the journey ahead would be a challenging one, but comforted by the knowledge that they would face it side by side.

                                                                              - TOO FAR GONE -

Maren heard the truck as it rumbled to a stop in front of their Alexandrian house, kicking up a cloud of dust. Daryl leaned against the side, his eyes scanning the surrounding area for any signs of danger.

"You ready?" he asked as Maren approached, her face set in a determined expression.

Maren took a deep breath before responding, "Ready as I'll ever be." Daryl nodded, then moved to the driver's side of the truck. Maren paused, raising an eyebrow, "Wait, I thought I was driving?"

"Over my dead body," Daryl jokingly scoffed, but seeing Maren's disapproval he explained, "Somebody's gotta look at the map." Maren rolled her eyes playfully and got in the passenger seat.

The pair rode for nearly two hours, the landscape of empty roads and green trees rolling by. The silence was only punctuated by the hum of the truck's engine. Finally, Daryl spoke up, his gaze flicking between Maren and the road ahead.

"I never asked ya about your life before shit went down..." Maren looked at him, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Things were good. For the most part, I mean. I had a good life before everything went to shit," Daryl nodded, but Maren knew he was waiting for her to continue, "My Dad and I...we sort of had a bad fight. It was about a week or so before...everything. Mom had called me, told me she had pancreatic cancer. I just...couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it."

Daryl's face remained impassive as he listened. Maren fell silent for a moment, her eyes growing misty.

"You don't think she's alive?" Daryl asked, his voice gentle.

Maren looked at him, the tears spilling over, "I don't...I don't know how she could've."

Daryl took a deep breath, his grip tightening on the steering wheel, "Your dad, you said y'all had a fallin' out? What happened?"

Maren's voice was weak as she spoke, "Mom always tried to hide what was really going on between her and Dad, I guess she just always saw me as her little girl. But that day she told me that she'd went to her appointment alone, that my dad hadn't shown up at all. That was the day she found out..." She paused, swallowing hard, "I was so...fucking angry at him. So I called him. When he picked up, I could hear a woman's voice on the other line. I knew it wasn't Mom, I just knew. So I went off on him, yelled and screamed...I told him that I hated him. That's the last thing I ever said to him, Daryl. That I hated him..."

There was a heavy silence in the truck. Daryl's eyes flicked to Maren, his expression unreadable, "Did you mean it?" he asked hesitantly.

Maren wiped at a stray tear, "At the time..." she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "Yes. But now...God, I wish I could take it back. I'd give anything to just take it back."

"Listen to me, Maren..." Daryl said, his voice gentle but firm. He pulled the truck over to the side of the road, turning to face Maren directly, "If...when we find him, he'll forgive ya. Things change, people change."

Maren interrupted, her voice tinged with fear, "What if he doesn't? What if he's the one that hates me?"

Daryl's expression was the most serious Maren had ever seen, "He doesn't hate ya, Maren. He's your dad. Dad's say dumb shit they don't mean all the time. I know for a fact he probably didn't mean a damn word of it."

Maren couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She let Daryl pull her into his arms, weeping softly against his chest. They stayed that way for a long while, the world around them fading away. Eventually, Maren pulled back, wiping her eyes.

"Daryl?" she said, her voice small, "What about you? I mean, your family...you never talk about them."

Daryl recoiled, his face hardening, "They ain't worth talkin' about."

"But you care, I can tell you do-" Maren knew he'd feel better if he could just say whatever was on his mind. She knew, she could tell it was bad. The way he got so quiet sometimes, so clearly lost in his own head. She hated that she couldn't just take it all away from him and let him have some sort of peace.

"Nah." Daryl cut her off quickly, the harshness in his voice making Maren flinch.

"Maybe talking would help you," Maren tried again, her voice soft, "You've been there for me. Let me do that for you."

Daryl sighed, pulling the truck back onto the road, "Just let it go, Maren."

"But Daryl, you don't have to keep all of it inside-"

"Goddamnit Maren, I said leave it alone!" Daryl nearly shouted, the vein in his neck pulsing. Maren jerked back, her expression shifting to one of rigid detachment - the same one she'd worn back at Terminus. Daryl felt furious at himself. He knew he had scared her. Based off the glaring look she was giving him, he knew he fucked up.

After a tense, silent exchange, she gathered her bag and gun and opened the car door.

"Maren, stop." Daryl said, driving alongside her as she angrily walked away.

"No. You're right, Daryl. It's none of my business," Maren replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

Daryl sighed heavily, hoping she would change her mind, "Please get back in the truck."

Maren scoffed, shouting back, "I'm not getting back in the fucking truck, Daryl! I tell you everything, fucking everything...I ask one thing and it's so frustrating. I feel like I don't know anything about you!"

Daryl remained silent, unable to find the words to respond. He hated this, hated himself for being like this. He hated his past and everyone in it. He hated the way they had made his childhood hell, how they had made him feel and how they had shaped the man he was...the man he still is. Talking about it won't fix it, and sure as hell won't make it go away. He just didn't understand why Maren was so persistant.

"That's what I thought. Go back to Alexandria, Daryl. I can handle this shit on my own," Maren said, her footsteps carrying her further away from the truck. His heart ached, knowing he'd been the one to cause this. He didn't know what to do.

Daryl could only sit back as he watched her go, the weight of his unspoken past hanging heavy in the air between them.