Too Far Gone // D. Dixon

chapter forty-one

As Negan moved to leave, Maren looked at him. Negan's heart ached as he watched Maren's vulnerable expression.

"Can you..." she spoke softly, "Could you stay with me?" Upon seeing the urgent need in her eyes, Negan knew he couldn't refuse.

"Of course," he replied, gently tucking her in and laying down beside her. He brushed her hair tenderly as she rested against his chest, feeling her slowly drift off to sleep. She was utterly exhausted, and he'd wondered if she'd been able to get sleep at all since everything she'd gone through.

As she slept, he stayed up, left with the thoughts and remnants of their previous conversation. He knew now. Everything. He had felt guilty before, about not trying hard enough to find her, but now...he felt as if he had been the reason for all of it. Negan was left alone with the weight of her harrowing ordeal. He felt a crushing guilt, blaming himself for not trying harder. The thought that she had been subjected to such unspeakable horrors made his heart shatter.  She hadn't deserved to be raped...she didn't deserve any of this.

Negan's tormented thoughts were interrupted as he felt Maren's body shaking beside him. Looking down, he saw her face grow increasingly distressed, her arms thrashing rather violently.

"No..." she spoke, her voice anguished, "No, please! Stop!"

Realizing she was trapped in a nightmare, Negan tried to gently wake her, "Maren, wake up. It's a nightmare-" But his touch only seemed to agitate her further. Maren screamed, scratching and pushing his arms away. Negan moved back, tears welling in his eyes at the sight of his daughter's distress. When Maren finally awoke, she looked around disoriented. Seeing the anguish on Negan's face, she started crying again.

"I'm sorry..." she said, her voice trembling. Negan reached for her, but Maren caught sight of the scratches on his arms, "Oh fuck...I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay, they're just scratches," Negan interrupted, pulling her into a tight embrace. He held her as if she might shatter, wanting to shield her from the world, "Shh," he soothed, gently lulling her back to sleep, "Just go back to sleep, baby girl."

Negan's heart ached for his daughter, vowing to do whatever it took to help her heal from the trauma she had endured.

In that moment, he would have given anything to take her pain away.

                                                                                 - TOO FAR GONE -

In the morning, Maren awoke to an empty bed. She looked around, but she was alone. A feeling she used to welcome but now had felt so isolating. She sighed but quickly spotted a single piece of paper on her other pillow.

Reading it, it had said;

Maren,

I had to go handle some shit early this morning, but I promise I'll be back later. I'll have someone bring you breakfast. 

Love, Dad.

Maren let out a sigh, and sat up. She looked around, deciding to take a shower. She let the water run over her body, taking her time scrubbing yesterday off of her. Though, she knew it wasn't yesterday she wanted permanently scrubbed from her body. 

Walking out of the bathroom, she heard a knock at her door. She squeezed the remaining water from her hair and walked over to the door. Opening the door, it was Simon. 

"Morning sunshine!" He spoke, his voice annoyingly full of happiness, "Breakfast delivery. Don't you worry, I don't need a tip."

Maren smiled at him, taking the food, "Thanks, Simon," she spoke and with that, he left. She sat at her small table and silently ate her breakfast. As hungry as she was, she felt her stomach roll at the smell of the bacon. That same urge she'd felt yesterday had returned but with a vengeance. 

"Shit-" She spoke, rushing to the bathroom again. She threw up everything. Her stomach now very much empty, she quickly flushed the toilet and rebrushed her teeth.

Fuck, she thought, I've never gotten sick this much in my life.

After brushing her teeth, Maren sat back down, frustrated by this persistent sickness. But Maren knew she couldn't dwell on her physical discomfort right now. She had a plan to focus on - a plan to get Daryl out of this place.

With that resolve, she finished her breakfast, determined to put her strategy into motion today, desperate to not let anymore time slip away.