Natasha Romanoff x Reader Oneshots

giving girls cocaine

age: 17
tw: drugs and all that fun stuff
word count: 1,1k
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"I'm flying!" you shout excitedly, throwing your hands up in the air, the wind blowing the hair out of your face. You sit on the edge of the Tower, your legs dangling down in the air— below you, nothing but air, for probably a hundred meters— this is what flying feels like, what it should feel like, right?

Sitting there, on the edge, laughing, this is flying, this is freedom, this makes you forget.

From the outside it might look crazy, a teenage girl on top of a tower, alone, screaming and laughing as the wind plays in her hair.

You fumble in the pocket of your jeans, your hands not as steady as normally, but still you manage to pull out a lighter. You smile down at it, sparkling gems from the dollar store laughing up at you. It was a Tuesday night as you snuck out to buy it and the next night as you glued sparkling stones on it— it was a fun thing to do and always reminds you of early childhood days as you'd play with your mother in the living room.

She's dead now, blown to pieces by a bomb— but that's okay because now you've learned to fly. Everything around you spins and you can't do anything but laugh.

You snatch a cigarette from the pocket of your jacket, unsteady hands bringing it to your lips. You feel the heat of the lighter as the flame meets the end of the cigarette, just for a second you think about how the burning heat would feel against your skin. The toxic gas fills your lungs, the burn that would come with it long gone.

The sun long settled and now you barely notice how rain starts to pour from the sky.

"Shit, shit, shit" you mumble as you watch white powder running through the cracks of the concrete. Water droplets run down your face and your hair is heavy with rain. But nonetheless, the dopamine rush you're currently experiencing makes this a whole lot more bearable. You take the last hit of your cigarette before flicking it off the edge of the tower, watching after it as it falls, no flies, through the air. Just for a second the thought of jumping crosses your mind. You can fly now.

But instead you pick yourself up and scramble to your feet, you sway for a moment, the things in your system messing with your balance. The heavy rainfall long but soaked your clothes, they now cling uncomfortably to your cold skin and you shiver slightly— but who cares? You're too high to notice anyways.

An hour, a cigarette and a bunch of intrusive thoughts later you find yourself heading for the door that'll lead you inside, into the warmth, again. It's almost midnight by now, so you'll have to be quiet— It'd be a shame if someone found you like this, weak and pathetic. It'd be a shame if someone took your drugs and toss them down the drain, your poor money, your poor happiness. It's be a shame if Nat found you like this, God, she's be so fucking disappointed (or maybe that's just what you've been telling yourself, telling yourself so that you'd have an excuse to not get help).

The light that still lights up the corridor of the tower shows you that somebody is still awake, extra quiet now, you tell yourself. The rain drops down your body, leaving wet patches all behind you, but it's water, it'll dry, it doesn't matter.

"Y/n?" Fuck.

You almost had it, almost reached the door. "Y/n?" she asks again— please, no. Not Natasha. "Y/n" it's more demanding this time, you hear her coming closer, even with your back turned.

Slowly, slowly and steady, you turn around. "Y/n, where were you?" you see her eyes narrow slightly "Why are you wet? What happened?". Before you can even answer you feel her hands on your jaw, gripping your chin— and you can physically feel her eyes travelling over your face, analysing you, narrowing on your eyes. "Are you high?" there's a sternness behind her voice that has you shrinking in on yourself and she's a spy, she noticed. The lack of answer doesn't do anything but approve her accusation.

A second later she's dragging you into your room. "Nat, please" you beg, you don't even know what you're begging for. She ignores you completely, leading you into the bathroom that connects to your room. "What did you take?" she demands, you sit on the closed toilet now and she's rummaging through your drawers "Y/n, what did you take?".

Tears build in the corners of your eyes, "I'm sorry" you whisper, you voice cracking "I'm sorry, Natasha"

She sighs, crouching down in front of you. She has antiseptic spray and a bandage in her hand— why does she need those?? "Y/n, I need you to tell me what you took" there is a softness in her voice that you can't place. "I— uh—" you stumble over your words, you hands shaking "cocaine" you admit quietly, avoiding her eyes.

The sigh that leaves her mouth makes you shrink in on yourself. "I know I disappointed you, I'm sorry" you whisper as tears roll down your cheeks, she turns your head, her eyes meeting yours "I'm not disappointed in you, y/n. I am mad and I am worried, but I know you're not having a good time lately. Also you're high, you're not in a headspace to discuss this, so I'll clean you up now, then I'll take you to bed, mine or yours, I do not care, but I'm watching you tonight. Then we'll talk about this tomorrow after you had something for breakfast".

"Clean up?" you ask, you foggy mind only comprehending half of what she said— you don't understand why she isn't screaming at you right now. "You're bleeding, y/n" she states calmly— on reflex you reach for your cheek, but Natasha's hand catches yours before it makes contact with your skin. "What?— I didn't notice—" you stammer 

"Hey" she says calmly "Y/n, look at me, you're okay". You wince as disinfectant makes contact with the cut on the apple of your cheek.

Ten minutes later you're curled up under your blanket, Natasha sitting next to you, stroking your hair. "Sleep now" she says "I'll be here when you wake up. I love you, sweetheart"

"I love you, too"

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I don't know what this is and I didn't proof read, so yeahhhh

also I'll move abroad, what the fuck are the European elections xx
Nazis to power!!!! /s