I always wished to be the one who could never cry
the one with a face so serious in dire times
with a face filled with secrets and perfect little lies
to be the perfect one who would never cry
I wished to be strong and sometimes I am
I didn't cry at the funeral and always lended a hand
and when they were buried I just had to stand
overwhelmed incomplete with no where to land
it seems I'm the character who always cries
in most of always and other times
I sit in my room and I sob to myself
I don't know what to do and I cant ask for help
and maybe you were the reason I turned out this way
the reason I seemingly die every single day
because when you were here this is how I would redeem
I was the child who cried because I could never scream
the child who couldn't yell and just had to be
who was so scared and anxious that they couldn't breathe
this was the way I learned to show up
a child in a body that couldn't grow up
who was forced to grow up and then be little again
if only you treated me better back then
if only I could've yelled at you then
if only I could've hurt you then
if only I didn't just cry and survive like a lost little girl again and again
how can I be strong now when I used it all up
when it was wasted on caring and giving and stuff
my feelings are bigger than my very own body
i cry in your arms with "i love you"s and "sorry"s
so then next time when I shake in my place
and my eyes get misty rainfalls take their place
when my eyes start closing and struggle to breathe
to hold on tight to your chest and your sleves
maybe you wont see me as a baby who cries
and love me and care for my watered eyes
YOU ARE READING
Mental Illness Poems
PoesíaAs a mental illness survivor. I decided to write poems about whats it's like to have a mental illness. If you are struggling please know you're not alone. You don't deserve to live like that. You can beat it even if it doesn't go away. I believe in...
