eilish tales - aunt billie!!

scars

tw - sh

olive - 13

billie - 21

billies pov

"hey billieeeee, how are youuu??", i hear finneas say sweetly from the other end of the call. 

"what do you want fin", i say, knowing hes about to ask me something. 

"wow you really know me way to well. do you think olive could stay over tonight and for like this afternoon and dinner and stuff? im taking claudia out and i think were gonna be busy all night doin-",

"OKAY STOP. i do not want to hear what you will be busy doing thank you very much. and of course olive can come over i haven't seen her in ages", i say laughing, as i knew finneas was moments away from oversharing. i wouldve let him if it weren't for my lack of love life. we were very open siblings. i mean you have to be when your writing songs together like oxytocin and lunch (😉 WHOS FKN EXCITED CUZ I AM). 

"okay sick, well were actually on our way right now, so we'll see you soon", he says. fuck, theres stuff everywhere. 

"right now, oh my gosh okay. well see you soon i guess", i hang up the call and spring up off the couch, running around the house to clean up slightly. i have a guest bedroom at my house, but its basically olives bedroom at this point. 

its decorated with band posters, and it has her clothes and some of her stuff for when she stays over. 

i hear a knock at the door, and i grab my phone off the kitchen counter, turning down the volume of my music as i run to answer it. 

"HEYYYYY", i yell excitedly as i see olive at the door. finneas and claudia are still getting out of the car. i wrap olive in a big hug, and hold her in my arms. 

"hi guys", i smile at finneas and claudia. i dont like to stand out the front of my house for too long in fear that people might see me, and know where i live so i welcome them in. 

"hey bil", finneas says as he hugs me, bringing olives bag inside with him. 

"so what are you two lovebirds doing tonight huh?", i say as i pick shark up and hold him in my arms so that olive can pat him. 

"its a surprise actually, but you will definitely hear about it tomorrow. but it does start at 5:00pm so we should probably go soon". finneas says with a proud smile. i check the time and its around 4:30pm. 

"ooooohhhh exciting", i say, and look at claudia whos grinning. 

we talk for a bit and by 4:45 fin and claudia are out the door, and its just me and olive. 

"okay so i was thinking since its not exactly dinner time yet, we could go take shark for a walk how does that sound?", i say, to olive whos now sitting across from me on the couch. 

"yea sounds good", she smiles softly. immediately i can tell somethings up. she hasnt been talking much at all today, and shes usually very talkative, so i start to worry. 

we leave for our walk, and we walk in silence for about 5 minutes before i start to feel awkward. 

"hey are you okay love, your very very quiet?", i say, a nervous feeling growing in my stomach. she stays silent for a few seconds, and i stay looking at the sidewalk before the silence feels to long. i look across at her and her eyes are filled with tears, that slowly spill onto her soft pink cheeks. 

"oh cherub. oh my love im sorry. its okay im right here", i say as i pull her into my embrace, holding her head against my chest. tears are now streaming down her face, and choked sobs escape her mouth. we stand in a hug in the middle of the sidewalk for almost 5 minutes while she cries in my arms, and i sway her back and forth. 

"do you wanna keep walking and talk, or do you wanna go home and talk there?", i say, as we see the sunsetting beautifully from the top of the hill. 

"uhm go back home please", she says as more sobs escape her mouth. 

"okay baby lets go", i say, and we turn around. as we start walking i begin talking. i cant bare to see her in pain, especially this upset about something. 

"my love whats going on, whats on your mind?", i say, and the floodgates open. 

"honestly so much shit. i feel like school is so hard, and im failing half of my classes. and half my grade hates me, and i keep doing stupid shit. and im just so done, i really dont wanna be here anymore.", she says as more tears fall. my heart breaks into a million pieces. my breath is swept away. memories flood back of how i felt at her exact age. that time of my life is something i dont wish on anyone. the way i dealt with things was not healthy either, and i secretly pray in my head that she isnt dealing the same way i did. 

i unlock the front door of my house and we walk inside. i walk her to the kitchen island, and we sit down facing eachother. 

"baby why didnt you tell me? you know ill always be here, no matter what.", i say, grabbing her hands in mine. 

"i didnt want you to be mad at me", she chokes out, still bawling her eyes out. 

"why would i be mad at you love?", i say, and she looks down at her arms which are covered by the sleeves of her hoodie. my body feels hot. i could almost throw up out of devastation. 

i know exactly whats about to happen. i cant hold back the tears in my eyes. she pulls her sleeves up and i accidently choke out a sob, bringing my hand to cover my mouth. i quickly wipe away the tears falling from my eyes, and hold her forearms in my hands, assessing the scars scattered across them. 

"oh olive", i say sniffling back my tears. stop being a bitch billie, i tell myself in my head. i have to be strong for her. 

"this isnt good baby, but trust me, i understand more than you know. you havent even cleaned them are they fresh?", i say, my voice weak. she nods her head in response, staring up at me with tired, hurt eyes as i hold onto her arms. i jump up and grab the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet. 

"im gonna clean them, and then were gonna talk some more okay?", i say as i start to clean and dress the scars, telling her to look away. 

"ow billie fuck", she squints her eyes shut, as i spray the antiseptic on them. 

"i know my love, its gonna sting but itll be over soon", i say, as i finish spraying them. "okay my love all done.", i say, kissing her forehead. 

"billie you cant tell anyone please", she says to me as im putting the first aid kit away. i pause. 

"you haven't told your parents?", i say, raising my eyebrows. 

"no your the only one that knows", she says as she starts crying again. 

"but my love you really need help. can i at least tell finneas? i know you trust me, but this is really really serious. if you really dont want me to tell anyone you have to promise to talk to me more. if you get worse i have to tell someone okay?", i say to her, bringing her to the couch to cuddle. 

"please i promise ill keep you updated, just dont tell my mom or dad. theyre gonna think im crazy", she says, frightened. 

"baby they would never think that but if you dont get better then im going to tell them okay?" i say, holding her tight in my arms as we lay on the couch. 

"okay", she says yawning, and finally calming down from crying. 

"how about we get some dinner and watch a movie huh?", i say. 

we spend the rest of the night talking, and eating and cuddling but my mind plays back her words and actions, and i cant help but feel responsible for her self-harming. she was young when i went through that type of thing, but i wish she never saw those things, because maybe we wouldnt have ended up here. 

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heavvyyyyyyy

if your going through something similar, dont keep it to yourself, reach out and ask for help. it is not weak at all. i love you guys so much please take care of yourself, comment and voteeeeee :)