Blurred Lines

Chapter 1 - Hazel Eyes

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Blue as the wings of a heron in the night

Like the rising tides on the shores of Isle Skye

They gleam evergreen, winds 'a whistling in the pines

Like a castle-crawling vine, like the grassy Glen of Lyon

And rich as the mud after rain upon the ground

They're a whiskey hue of brown, braided river running wild

I fell astray, but in you, I have found

That I am ever bound to your hazel eyes

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Dr. Marlena Evans Office, Salem University Hospital

Friday, April 20, 1992

    "Hello, John," Marlena said softly as she opened the door to her office. "I was worried about you. You missed your last two appointments." She scanned over him in concern, her eyes taking in how tired he seemed. His shoulders sagged, and his hair looked as if he'd run his fingers through it repeatedly, an obvious sign that he was not doing well.

    John tried to smile at her, but it came off more as a smirk. His hands trembled as he fumbled with the buttons on his wool peacoat. It was still unseasonably cool, the air blowing off of the Salem River bringing moisture and cold. "I've been out of town," he replied in a rough voice. "I just got back in this morning... an hour or so ago I guess."

    Marlena was confused as to why he would come straight to her office, not that she wasn't glad to see him. "Have you seen Isabella yet?"

    The soft cushions of Marlena's beige couch surrounded him as he sank into it with a sigh, "Not yet, Doc. I–I don't think I can face her just yet. I did... something I'm not proud of to get the information I needed from Danielle, and I'm–I'm not sure how to tell her. She's going to be hurt."

    Marlena approached him slowly, sitting in the chair near where he sat at the end of the sofa. Leaning forward she balanced her elbows on her knees, and laced her fingers together watching the guilt and shame play over his face. John's eyes filled with tears when he finally lifted them to look at her.

    She reached out, placing her palm softly on his knee, "You're here because you need someone to talk to. Whatever you tell me... it won't leave this room. You know that."

    Seconds passed between their eyes, with John momentarily distracted by the depth of her eyes. "I think that's why I came here first... but there's so much, and I don't know where to start..."

    Marlena squeezed his leg gently, "Isabella said you'd followed Danielle to Stockholm to learn more about your past," Marlena said, hoping it might give him a place to start.

    "It always goes back to Stockholm, doesn't it, Doc?" The heat of Marlena's hand on his knee was reassurance and safety that he didn't feel he deserved. His fists pulled at his hair in frustration, and he stood up quickly, feeling like shit on the bottom of someone's shoe. He couldn't even look Marlena in the eyes, how was he ever going to tell Isabella what he'd done?

    Softly he said, "I was so focused on the plan... to find out how I was connected to Danielle, to find out who I was... I don't know, Doc. Maybe, I got so lost in it all, the feelings and the emotions of it all that I lost track."