Blurred Lines

Chapter 32 - Don't Speak

February 1, 1993

The Brady Pub

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You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together always

I really feel

I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe

This could be the end

Looks as though you're letting go

And it it's real

Well I don't want to know

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John stepped out of the Jeep outside of the Brady Pub feeling sick to his stomach. Every caustic physical reaction he could have seemed to be looming. The stress and anxiety was taking a toll on his body, and he couldn't seem to do anything about it. He'd agreed to leave Salem for six months. He was going to make one last solid attempt to see if his marriage would work. He'd agreed to cut contact with Marlena, but he'd refused to give up the children. Isabella wasn't happy, but he refused to give up his children. It was complicated, and it was fucking messy. It was breaking his heart. He stared up at the pub sign remembering the day he'd proposed the idea to Shawn. The Brady Pub wouldn't exist without Marlena.

He waited for Isabella to get out of the car. She'd insisted on coming along, even though her interaction with the Brady's over the last few months had been minimal. John felt it had more to do with keeping an eye on him than it had to do with saying goodbye, but maybe he was in so much emotional pain that he was becoming cynical. Tonight he simply wanted to pick up Brady, say goodbye to Shawn and Caroline, and leave. He couldn't handle anything else. He would have to find time to say goodbye to Marlena, and the children in the next few days.

Isabella stepped out of the Jeep feeling pleased. John was trying. She was going to find a way to make their marriage work, even if that meant getting pregnant again. Originally, she'd wanted to wait before having another child, at least until Brady was two, but she'd stopped taking her birth control a few days earlier. Glancing over at John, she felt some guilt over not telling him, but it would be a conversation they could put off until they arrived in Italy. A surprise pregnancy wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility in the meantime. Stepping up beside John, she reached for his hand. "Are you ready?"

He glanced down at her with abject sadness. What kind of question was that? No, he wasn't ready, but he was doing this to save his marriage. Without directly answering her question, John said, "Let's go."

The bell rang over the door in the pub as Isabella pushed it open, pulling John unwillingly behind her. She knew he was unhappy, but he would adjust in a few weeks. She glanced around the room looking for Caroline, and then she heard Marlena's voice. The last person she wanted to run into, and the last person she wanted John to see.

Marlena sat at a small table with Caroline, Brady in her arms with his small hand tangled in her hair, as she whispered to him, "You are the handsomest boy. You are. You are. You are."

Isabella wanted to cross the pub, and tear her child from Marlena's hands, but she had to control herself. She glanced up at John, and found herself even more upset at the look on his face. She had planned for them to come to the pub, pick up Brady, tell their news and leave. She certainly hadn't expected to be faced with the reason they were leaving. John looking like a forlorn, lovesick puppy wasn't helping.