Blurred Lines

Chapter 19 - These Dreams

October 5, 1992

Marlena's Lakehouse

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Spare a little candle, save some light for me

Figures up ahead, movin' in the trees

White skin in linen

Perfume on my wrist

And the full moon that hangs over

These dreams in the mist

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Marlena's body twisted in her bedsheets. Lost in a dream, she reached her hand out in front of her towards empty air, whispering, "John." In her dream she could feel the cool night air, and the way her nightgown brushed against her legs.

He stood near the top of the stone stairs that led down to the lake, his hand outstretched, and his bare feet buried in the grass. A vision that she had imagined so many times. "I've been waiting for you, Doc."

"John," she whispered, stepping off of the porch with bare feet. Her white linen nightgown dragged across the dew covered grass, and the wet cotton tangled in her feet as she walked. The full moon lit up the sky, and Marlena was awed by the sight of him standing there. His bare chest, and muscular shoulders glowed in the silvery light. He was wearing loose cotton pants hanging low on his hips, and her fingers ached to dance across his skin.

"Come with me, Doc. Just for a walk on the beach," he whispered as she neared him. "I miss you. I miss spending time with you."

Taking his hand, she sighed softly when he pulled her closer. Her hand slid around his waist, and settled gently on his lower back. She stared up at him, "What are you doing here?"

"I told you baby, I miss you." He turned and descended the stairs while tugging her behind him. "It's such a beautiful night, isn't it?"

"It is," she whispered, still staring at him in awe. Where had he come from, and why was he there? She didn't remember coming outside. She wanted to ask him, but she was afraid if she did, he would disappear. He would be gone as soon as the words left her lips.

Their feet were back on the grass as soon as they came off of the bottom step. She could hear the soft lap of the lake against the beach. John's voice carried softly on the night air, "You're an amazing woman, Doc. I don't tell you that enough."

"John, I'm confused," she said quietly. "I don't understand."

"Do we need to understand?" His fingers brushed lightly across her cheek. "Your eyes are such a beautiful mix of amber and green tonight."

Marlena started crying. She felt the soft breeze cool the wet trail across her face, and tried to wipe at them but they kept coming.

"Doc, hey... baby, don't cry." He leaned forward, tipping her face up, "I'm here with you. Don't cry."

"This isn't real," she said, barely above a whisper. "I'm going to wake up, or something will happen, and you'll be gone."

"But I'm here now." He stroked across her face, and then pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She rocked with him slowly as he held her, and cooed, "I'm here now... with you. Let me hold you. Enjoy this moment, that's all I'm asking."

Her body sank into him. Every line of her fit against him, and she sighed. Still, she cried. It wasn't real. She knew it wasn't, and she also knew that when she woke the pain would be fresh and raw. John's hand settled low on her back, holding her against him, pressing her closer, and she felt an ache in her. She wasn't able to have him hold her so intimately, and not react.