Blurred Lines

Chapter 34 - My Immortal

February 6, 1993

Horton Cabin on Smith Island

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I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

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John wrenched his lips from Marlena's, and stared at her with arousal blown eyes. Fuck. He wanted her so badly his whole body screamed out in pain. He gasped, clenching the lapels of his old woolen peacoat in his fists. The simple fact that she had the coat after all those years, that she was wearing it the night he was supposed to leave. It was agonizing. She stared up at him, panting softly, with gently parted lips, but she said nothing. They were in a cocoon of silence surrounded by snow, and all he could hear was their combined intake of breath as they fought what seemed to be inevitable. When the tip of her tongue slipped over her bottom lip, he jerked her body forward. She slammed into him, crying out a gasp that called to him. It was desire, lust, longing, and anticipation. That was all he could take. He plundered her mouth, kissing her over and over again, trying to get as much of her as he could before he would be forced to let her go... because he was supposed to let her go. Right?

John's lips ached, and yet he couldn't stop. His shaking fingers pulled desperately at the buttons of her coat. He slid his cool hands inside, slipping underneath her sweater with a groan. His fists clenched in the thin cotton shirt she wore beneath, tugging it from the waistband of her jeans, and almost sighing with relief when his skin touched hers. Shaking the falling snow from his hair, he leaned forward sucking her bottom lip into his mouth with a groan. She tasted like everything he missed. She tasted like his past, and his dreams. She tasted like hope.

Marlena's fingers laced through his hair, her nails scraped across his scalp, as she was helpless to stop his assault. She stumbled backwards when he lifted her, shoving her back onto the porch, and into the side of the cabin with a heavy thud. They were out of the wind, and the snow continued to fall sideways, but the silence was deafening. All Marlena could hear were John's groans, and the rasp of his breath. Her hand shook as she struggled to pull down the zipper of his coat. Pushing the soft black leather apart, her palms laid over his warm chest, feeling the soft flannel beneath them, and the staccato rhythm of John's heart beneath her fingertips. She was afraid to say anything. If she did he might stop this, and they couldn't stop.

Gasping for air, his forehead rested on hers. His fingers held her warm skin firmly, as he gasped, "We can't do this, Doc."

"If you're leaving me tomorrow, give me this. Give me this night. Don't take it away from me," she begged him. "I want you... I want you so bad..." Her small hand stroked his face, "Don't you dare lie to me, and tell me you want to walk away from this. You want this. You want me."

His eyes closed. His body was on fire. He couldn't look at her. John's fingers dug into the flesh of her waist. She rolled her hips toward him, and he almost cried out as she bumped against his aching cock. "Doc!"

She did it again, watching his face curl in agony. She wanted his pain, because it made her certain that he wanted her. She wanted to know that this was killing him the way it was killing her. She started pulling his shirt from the waistband of his jeans. He couldn't stop her, because he wanted her touch. He wanted her small, petite hands on his skin, and he wanted her fingernails across his back.