Shadows into Light

Cold Soulless Nights

Like the prodigal child
I strayed away
Away from your needs and your wants
Your wishes
Like fog I was blinded by my own emotions
Triggers
Two sides to one soul
My thoughts condensed into what seems droplets of rain
I pour them down onto you
Crashing down on your heart like a storm
Agony rushes down your eyes
Apologies begin to rust as it corrodes
Two sides one soul
A burning flame
A calming tide
Two sides one soul
Two different needs
Two sides one soul
You
Me
Like a puzzle
We try to put each other together
Hoping we'd be the right piece for each other
Only to be distraught with the reality
Of the fact that we aren't
We rip away from each other
Like flesh tearing from the bone
Sorry
S
O
R
R
Y
I repeat to myself
I repeat to you
I'm sorry
You lended me a loaded gun
I had to pull the trigger
Soon you'll find someone
Be hospitalized by their love
Their hands caress your words
Grabbing their needle and thread
They mend your wounds
My finger slowly pulling the trigger while thoughts rush
“ She'll heal “
“ She'll get better “
“ She'll be happier “
“ She'll grow “
Knowing deep down
Each bad cause has its good ending
Like a volcano erupting
Bringing a brighter life behind it
But knowing the process will drag along the grievance it includes
Searing hot liquid
Cutting through anything
Delving through any crevice
Any curve it finds
I pull the trigger
Watching as you bleed
Knowing you'll find the refuge you seek
I am the burnt ground that remains
The ashes
The dust
Watching as you found the home You've wanted all along
I blow past you
Happy that you found it
My home being torn
Your breeze rushing through the broken glass
Reassured that your better now
As it rips and claws deeper within in
A bittersweet feeling
The ability to let go
Not for you
Or for me
But for us
Only thing is that I'll take a while before I let go of the memories that we made
That shine like gold
Within this head of mines
My love
You must take care of yourself
And breathe in the fresh air
You yourself release onto others
While I remain on the earths surface
“ No one speaks of the pain of letting go “
          here I protest
Showing you all the depth letting go has
( To everyone out there who was stuck with the responsibility such as this
This poem is a reminder
To let you know that even in the darkest pits of earth
You are not alone )
I now let you go
Like a dove within my hands
I throw you up in the pale blue sky
And watch you fly
With a smile that resembles a great depth of pain behind it
Fly high my dove
My eyes now filled with salty tears
Puddles of pain now created
Muffled screams
While the puddles overflow
Overflowing past me
Until I drown
Drown from my own tears

( For those who have been waiting, here is a part 9 lovelies.
You are all enough
And you are all loved
Rest in peace not in worry )