April Showers [h. s.]

3

I was welcomed home by my 16-year-old Chihuahua, Bibble. I named her after my favourite character from the Barbie movies when I was a kid. Sounds silly now that I am 19 but I think it's still cute.

Bibble is quite old now, but she's thriving, she just doesn't look as good as she used to. Noah likes to mock her because of her tongue constantly hanging out, drooling all over the place, her hair all grey and her fogged, blind eyes.

Her and I are practically attached at the hip, she follows me everywhere when I'm not at work. Ever since dad passed, she has been my comfort, like a childhood blanket to me. She sits at the bottom of my bed when I'm writing songs, and she waits for me outside my bathroom door until I'm finished showering. I don't know what I would do without her, she keeps me sane in this house.

She used to come to the café with dad and I all the time, but mum won't let her come anymore because she thinks she is "off putting", so rude. Every morning I leave her a treat on my bed, rub her little messy head and kiss her goodbye before I head out to the café.

I hung up my coat and put my bag on the counter then went straight up to my room when I got home. I grabbed my guitar and sat on my unmade bed. I didn't have time to make it this morning, but it's warm from Bibble occupying it all day, as usual. 

I wrap myself up in my blanket and Bibble cozied up to my leg. Ever since dad passed, I've been working even harder on the possibility of a career in music. I decided to go to university for a degree in music after he died, I'm just about to finish my first year. 

Dad always had so much faith in me from a young age, he brought me to singing lessons for as long as I can remember and he sang with me a lot, in the kitchen while he made breakfast for Noah and I in the mornings before school, at night while he cleaned up the house while we watched tv with mum, and of course in the car before we would go to the café. It was kind of our thing.

I miss those times.

I wish I could still hear him sing.

One song we used to always sing together when I was younger was a song from Hannah Montana, 'Butterfly Fly Away'. I still sing it whenever I want to imagine he is beside me, singing along with his guitar.

Tonight instead, I practiced some of my own songs. I have been writing songs for as long as I can remember. I used to perform them for mum and dad when I was little in the living room. They would sit on the couch watching tv and I would burst through the door begging them to stop watching whatever it was they were watching. Dad always turned it off straight away to join me.

I love writing, I write all my songs in a big notebook that dad gave me the week before he died. It has a picture of Bibble on the front which makes it so special to me. He used to make fun of Bibble just like Noah, so now it just reminds me of his infectious smile and laughter, whenever him and Noah would come into my room and joke about how she just laid there with her tongue hanging out, or how she tried to bark at them but only let out a little squeak. The notebook is literally like a personal therapist to me now, it holds all my emotions in lyrical form. I write all my songs in it, and only a few people have seen some of it's contents.

Not many people have heard my original songs, I have performed in front of small crowds at the local pub, but I always cover songs. Noah hears all of them, he comes into my room when he knows I am writing something and sits with me. He's such an amazing big brother. I used to think he would make fun of me for writing songs but he's really supportive, my biggest fan now.

 Mum hears the ones that aren't entirely depressing, but she doesn't seem to be interested anyway when I sing for her. I just get a smile and "that was lovely". It's always followed up with, "How's your studying going?" or "How was the café this morning?". That seems to be the only thing she's really interested in anymore. 

I've shown Zayn one or two also, in the café, whilst cleaning up after work.

I practiced a song I have been working on for a long time before bed. I wrote it about a year ago. It's about how life has been without my dad. How Noah, my mum and I have been living without him. It's called 'Camden'. It's really special to me. I wish for days I could let everyone hear it.

I wish dad could hear it.

That dream seems impossible now.

//

The song we are referring to for Amelie's "original" song is linked at the beginning of the chapter.

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Check these for a pic of Bibble :))

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R & S xxx