Life is...Love, Family, Friendship

Almost Time To Go

Jack knocked on the door to Maya's room.
"Si, come in."
"Hey Carina, you doing ok?"
"I'm doing as good as I can Jack."
"Well, yeah, I know, 'cause of this whole Maya thing and all and-"
"Jack? It's ok, I know you're nervous. We all are. Here, why don't you hold Liam for a few minutes? He makes everything feel better."
Jack took Liam from Carina and began walking around the room rocking him. Liam cooed gently as Jack made his way back toward Carina.
"He's definitely cute. You know Maya started calling him Probie when she was showing us pictures of him? It was so weird because none of us knew she had the crush injury and she just wanted to talk about Liam and you and how happy she was. We were all in pretty shitty-oops, sorry-bad moods but Maya just pushed past it and made us look at pictures of this guy and you with him and even her with him. She told us how he laughs now and does the raspberries. She even said she thinks he's going to be an Olympian."
Carina smiled, she could feel the tears forming behind her eyes. Hearing how Maya was gushing about Liam to all their friends gave Carina such relief. Even though they had weathered the storm and come out stronger, Carina still worried sometimes that maybe Maya was just hiding her objections about having children because she needed to still deal with the traumas of her father's abuse. It was true, she had made amazing strides by working with Diane since her breakdown, but Carina could see things in her wife before Maya could. She knew that Maya was still carrying pain that she would fail because of the psychological torture that had been so beaten into her by Lane and that was the anxiety she shouldered, constantly scared to fail Carina. Reaching for her wife's hand, Carina held it and absentmindedly ran her finger over Maya's wedding band. She missed her wife more than she was letting on to anyone. Being married to a firefighter hadn't been easy. She'd seen so many things over the years and had only heard about others. Maya was always reassuring her that she never took chances or was reckless, but that night in bed, when Maya had confessed her fear of dying on the job and leaving Carina and Liam all alone-and now, to see her lying in a coma.
'No! Stop it Carina! She's going to be fine. She promised you that she wouldn't leave you alone. You have to have faith in that.'
Carina wiped her eyes and looked over at Jack who was sitting in the other chair and completely absorbed with Liam. Carina wanted to tell him about the adoption-she wanted to tell all of them, but she couldn't do it without Maya next to her. After Andy had threatened Vic to keep her mouth shut or risk toilet duties at the station, they both pinky swore that they would keep the secret. Liam yawned and Jack got up and brought him over to Carina.
"Ok bambino, it's time for you to go home and go to sleep. Say buonanotte to uncle Jack."
"I'll go let Andy know you're going to get him ready to go home."
"Grazie Jack."
Carina put Liam down in the crook of Maya's arm and moved her wife's hand to cover his torso. She started singing her favorite lullaby while holding his fingers with one hand and stroking Maya's hair with the other. It wasn't the perfect situation, but Carina was determined to make the best of it and she wanted to be sure Maya didn't miss anything.

"She's singing that lullaby again."
"She sings it constantly you know, that's why I get to see her and Liam so much. The song draws me closer to her."
"I wish you were still with us Andrew. She misses you so much."
"I miss her too, but I know she is finding her joy again. You bring that to her so much, do you know that Maya?"
"Honestly, sometimes I don't think I do. I feel so many times like I don't deserve her because she is so full of love and compassion. She's, well, it's like this woman we were working on at the market said, she's an angel. What did I ever do to deserve an angel?"
"You chose her Maya. You opened your heart to genuinely love her. You are her one true love. And she is yours."
"I'm scared though."
"And that is how you know the love between you both is unbreakable. Being scared means you are never going to let go. She is scared too, but she trusts you like she has never trusted anyone else."
"Tell me, will I remember all this when I go back to her?"
"You'll remember the feeling, you'll remember some of the things we've talked about and you'll remember me telling you this to say to my sister."
Maya looked at Andrew as he stared into her eyes.
"Due meta creano il tutto. Due vita diventano un solo amore."
Maya swallowed hard and smiled.
"That's beautiful, will she know why I'm saying it?"
"When you say it to my sister, she will know that I kept you safe when she couldn't. Plus, I'm giving you some extra credit so she doesn't get too mad at you for not letting anyone know what you were going through."
"I really wish we had more time together Andrew."
"You know, I really did mean it when I told you that you that you were my favorite. Thank you for loving and protecting her. You know, to her, you are her angel. So don't worry too much about your worthiness, you've more then earned it."
Andrew stood up and motioned for Maya to do the same. He leaned forward and hugged her tightly before kissing her on each cheek.
"Will I be here much longer?"
"Not too much longer, just long enough. Take good care Maya, tell Carina, tuo fratello benedice sempre i tuoi figli"
"That's a lot of Italian you want me to speak, but thank you. I know that it will make Carina happy, and that's all I want to do is make her happy."
Andrew smiled and turned to walk away. He looked back, blew Maya a kiss and headed down the beach. Maya watched until she couldn't see him any longer before sitting back down and closing her eyes.