eilish tales - aunt billie!!

sick on tour - 5

tw/ vomit or sickness

billies pov

it had been two weeks since olive got out of hospital, and the tour had finally started to become a bit smoother. its safe to say the first few weeks were very rough, but now a month had passed since we started this leg, and i cant believe how fast the time has flown by. 

right now we're in portugal, and there are two shows here, but also a bunch of press that i have to do whilst im here. 

"earth to billie, what are you ordering??", my mom says as she waves her hand in front of my face. we're out at breakfast, and i keep getting lost in thought. 

"oh sorry, ill just get the avocado toast please", i say to the waiter, and she nods, smiles and walks away. 

"you okay?', she says with a concerned look on her face. 

"yeah im just not feeling the greatest, but im sure im fine.", i say in response, nodding my head. 

were out with finneas, claudia, olive, my mom, and dad, and im sitting next to olive. 

"oh no love, how so?", she asks, "i just feel off, like i feel sick, but please dont worry im sure its nothing". 

she frowns and nods, and the conversation around the table slowly flows on. 
eventually our food comes, and i still dont feel right so i only eat like half of my food. my mom seems to notice and i can tell shes worried about me.

after breakfast we drive back to the hotel were staying in and i decide to sleep for a few hours to try and feel better. olive and i are sharing a room, and she lies in bed next to me while i sleep. its nice finally having someone on tour thats always there with me, apart from my mom. 

by the time i wake up its around 2:30pm and we have to go to the venue to do soundcheck for the show tonight. i get myself ready and meet everyone down in the lobby of the hotel so we can get in the bus. 

"how you feeling bil?", finneas says to me as my mom hugs me. 

"mmmm i dont know something just doesnt feel right but ill see how i go", i say. to be honest i do not feel well at all but i dont want to let anyone down, especially all the fans that i know have been waiting for months to see this show. 

we get on the bus and start driving to the venue. its only about a 5 minute drive, so we arrive before i even really look up from my phone. 

once were inside we just sit for a while, talking about my outfit, and starting my hair and makeup. 

at 3 we start the soundcheck, and run through about half of each song, just to make sure all of the lights, production and venue logistics are perfect for the show. 

in the middle of everything i wanted, i start to feel sick. im so tired and weve been doing soundcheck for like almost an hour now, and i feel dizzy. 

my eyes start watering and i try my best to push it down, but as i push my way through the song, i feel the overwhelming feeling of sickness take over my body. i suddenly sprint off stage as fast as possible, without any explanation, and straight to the bathroom in my greenroom. 

i barely make it as i throw up everything i ate. i knew something was wrong. 

its only then that i realise im still holding my microphone, so everyone on my team probably just heard me throwing up. 

tears roll slowly down my cheeks as i sit back against the wall next to the toilet. i can tell thats just the beginning of a long night. 

my mom and finneas come running into the bathroom, followed by laura and then olive, and suddenly everyones watching as i throw up for a second time. 

my mom tells everyone to leave, and she makes laura take my microphone with her. she rubs my back and ties my hair back as i continue to throw up. 

"ughhh i feel like shit" i say weakly as more tears roll down my face. i rest my head on my moms shoulder and she weaves her fingers through my hair. 

her touch is so comforting, that if it wasn't for the rolling waves of sickness through my body, i could fall asleep right here. 

"love im just gonna call danny and tell him to cancel the show tonight and book the hotel for one more night okay?", she whispers into my ear softly. 

"noo i swear i can do the show", i say weakly, grabbing onto the sink to try and pull myself off the ground. 

"billie sit back down. you just threw up 5 times there is no way your doing the show honey", she says sternly. 

my vision goes black as i come to standing, and the dizziness makes my nausea almost 100 times worse, and i throw up in the sink. 

my mom stands up and rubs my back some more. 

"lets go to the bus and we'll figure things out from there okay?", she says. i nod my head and follow her out to the green room. 

finneas, claudia, my dad and olive are waiting looking worriedly on the couches in the room. 

i grab my hoodie and my sweat pants that i had on before, from the corner of the room and go back into the bathroom to get changed while my mom calls danny and updates everyone on what were doing. thank god for my mom, without her im pretty sure my career would've turned to shit by now. 

i leave the bathroom and finneas walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. he holds me for a while, and my body is so weak that i just let him hold me up. some tears slowly start to fall again, and i feel the guilt flowing through my body. i HATE cancelling shows, even when i know i literally cannot do them. 

i grab my backpack and follow my mom out of the venue and to the bus. she helps me into my bunk and gives me a bucket so i can lay down for a bit. she also bring s me water, tylenol and some crackers.

we cant get into the hotel straight away, so i fall asleep in the bunk. 

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the rest of the night is spent either throwing up in my bunk, or on the bathroom floor of the hotel. the next day is not much different, and it makes me wonder if the rest of the tour will be this rough. 

man i hate being sickkkk.

___

i clearly cannot fufill my promise BUT I WAS DEPRESSED OKAY. anyway im hopefully coming out of it now so maybe you'll see some more stories, from this series too, but yeah i hope you liked thisssss

plz like and comment and stay safe and healthy and happy <3