[ Flipside - A DSaF Fanfic ]

[ Chapter 19 | Darkness and Nothing ]

[ TW: Hearing voices, attempted suicide. Fun chapter, I know. /s ]

[ fun fact the title is based off of a dsaftale directdogman posted on tumblr. ]

   Jack had been laying on the floor for a bit, wondering if Jake and Harry would go up to help him. They...didn't. Of course they didn't. He didn't deserve it after all.

    Jack had just gotten out of the arcade machine just in time for Jake to break in, making up a lie that he had just been in there for a while, working. Neither of the phoneys seemed to believe him, but didn't ask any more questions. That had...relieved him a bit.

    Jack hated being like this, hated this self-hatred. Hated spiraling and being too scared to tell anyone what was going on inside his brain. He couldn't even tell if he was himself. 

    "Jack, you're a monster. Why not just give in? It'd be so much easier, if you just stepped out of that window in your room and died."

    Jack looked at the door to his room, and got up to his feet, weary. Jake and Harry must've fallen asleep hours ago... He turned the knob, and headed to his bed. He knelt on the mattress, his legs comfortable on the sheets, opening the windows. He just stared out of it, standing on the ledge. He couldn't really focus on anything, but the window, the breeze just outside. The darkness. The stars...the voice.

   "Jump."

   "Do it."

    "Better dead than a burden."

    The voice was getting louder. He deserved this...

    He was about to take a step off, before he felt a grip on the back of his shirt. He turned and saw Harry.

    "Jack...what are you doing?" He pulled him away, the older man's hands shaking a bit.

    "Nothing just..." He turned to the window. He didn't want Harry to worry about him more than he already did. "Looking outside, enjoying the breeze."

   "Jack." Harry held a hand to his shoulder, his voice unsteady. "Please, don't lie to me. What's going on? Please, I just got you back."

    "Its...nothing, really Harry. You should get to bed." Jack pushed him away, getting off his bed.

   "No, I refuse to just let you go like that. Jack, please, I want to-" Jack shoved him to the floor. He...didn't feel like he was himself. He didn't feel like he was in his own body. These weren't his actions.

    "Leave." Another voice spoke from his mouth. It was his, but...the inflections were odd, the accent like a mockery of his. He snapped back to being him

    Harry stood up, rubbing his head. "I'm not going to chase after you, if...if you keep pushing me away, Jack. But please don't...do something like that again. There's some people who really care about you, people you've helped. I'm one of them."

    Jack stared at Harry, as he headed out the room, Harry's hand lingering on the door frame, as if he wanted to stay, to make sure Jack was safe.

    "Please, stay alive a little longer. You're something I quite enjoy in my life." He could feel Harry smile at him, despite lacking a mouth. "Good night, Jack."

    "...good night, Harry." Jack said, quietly. He shut the window, and laid down. He said goodnight to Dave in his mind, as well, although wishing he could say it in person. He stared at the ceiling, although it was hidden by darkness. He fell asleep.