Songs as Solangelo OneShots

Untitled Part 20

I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground, I see who you are

The echo of the slammed cabin door vibrated through Nico's bones, a physical manifestation of the heartache blooming in his chest. He'd taken a chance, confessed the truth of his feelings for Will, a truth he'd guarded for far too long. But instead of the reciprocation he'd craved, Will's response had been a cruel cocktail of anger and accusations.

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me, then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why

Nico wasn't bulletproof. Will's words had struck a deep wound. Looking up at the chipped paint, he saw a stranger in Will's cloak of fury. Will's anger was a constant storm, and Nico was tired of being caught in the crossfire. Love shouldn't feel like this. Will's cruel words echoed – a fresh wound. He knew the damage, the fear they sent through Nico. Yet, why? Why the cruelty from someone who supposedly cared?

You could write a book on
How to ruin someone's perfect day
Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh

Will, for all his sunshine smiles and declarations of wanting Nico, had a way of leaving him feeling bruised. Like a beautiful flower slowly wilting under the harsh glare of a spotlight. One minute, Will would be holding Nico close, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear. The next, he'd be swept away by a boisterous group, leaving Nico adrift in a sea of unfamiliar faces and forced small talk.

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why

The memory of Will's careless words from the night before echoed in his mind, a fresh wound. Words that dismissed Nico's dreams as childish fancies, leaving him feeling small and insignificant. Did Will even see him, the real Nico, beneath the shadows he carried? Or was Nico just a convenient accessory, someone to flaunt when it suited Will but easily discarded when the party got loud?

Why do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside?
Why do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind?

Tears welled up in Nico's eyes, blurring the festive lights into an indistinct mess. He couldn't stay here any longer, not in this place that felt like a constant reminder of how badly he wanted to fit in, how badly he craved Will's wholehearted acceptance.

When I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you want me, then cut me down
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love, then you push me around
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why, why?
Tell me why

Leaving the forgotten gift on a random table, Nico slipped out of the party unnoticed. The cool night air felt like a balm on his heated cheeks. He didn't need someone who made him feel small to feel whole. He needed someone who cherished his darkness, who saw the beauty in his shadows. He yearned for a love that didn't come with a price tag of self-deprecation.

I take a step back, let you goI told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know

As Nico walked away from the party, the weight of the forgotten gift a dull ache in his hand, a single, tear escaped and traced a cold path down his cheek. He may have loved Will with a fierce devotion, but tonight, he was choosing to love himself a little more.