A vow of Stars

i . the sweetest mistake

      "Ballads never end happily,
     and neither do the two of us..."

Dark was the night in the streets of Velaris, the City of Starlight. Stars blinked through the inky dark sky, a gentle solace to the straying faes strolling down the streets by the Sidra River, for Maliah, it was just another way the Cauldron mustered to tear her apart further.

A childish whimper broke through the silence, and the babe cradled in the Illyrian female's arms stirred lightly, making her mother's eyes focus on her rather than the long windy road "Hush, my darling." Maliah whispered, her fingers brushing down her little girl's nose soothingly "We are almost there..."

It would've been easier, if she weren't about to rip her own heart in half, if she weren't going to give up on her most precious treasure, her most valued feeling.

She had once thought that the loss of her wings was the hardest she's ever lived through, the way her freedom was taken away from her for the only reason of being a female in Illyria, only there to marry and breed, not to fly and fight and live.

And then, motherhood happened.

Brutal and surprising, she couldn't believe how a single night of passion created the small bundle of joy resting in her arms, and despite all the challenges and expectations, Maliah ended up loving the child so dearly that it could be mistaken for a part of her soul.

She couldn't, however, see a future for either of them in Illyria. Neither the mother nor the child. Not when fate waited like a hungered beast to sink its claws in their lives.

Her heart clenched at the thought that her little girl could've ended up like that, with clipped wings, dim eyes and stolen dreams. Of her being beaten and starved then eventually being taken away like many others before her.

She couldn't let that happen...

She couldn't even handle the promise of her little girl's future...

So she stepped on her own heart, staring at the beautiful house right in front of her, the place where she has come over and over again across the years, a place she hadn't been in for a little more than a year. She took a deep breath, her hands shaking as she held her little Elayla closer.

"Mama...?" Little Layla's voice was muffled against her mother's embrace, clueless to the sudden anguish radiating from her, the heart-wrecking, gut-wrenching pain. The small girl couldn't say many words, just intelligible sounds and simple words, but she felt something was wrong, deep down in the marrow of her small fragile bones.

If Maliah were anyone else, she would've been happy to get rid of the little girl, of the result of that one drunken night mistake with the person who was her longest and dearest friend. A mistake she didn't have enough courage to admit, the one truth she chose to hide and omit.

But Elayla was Rhysand's child as much as she was hers, his in her bright smile that could light up the entire universe, his in the mischievous glimmer in her stars kissed eyes, so blue they appear to be violet, and his in the pointed High Fae ears that Maliah lacked, default of being a pure blooded Illyrian.

But Maliah wasn't just giving her away to him for that, she was giving their daughter to him because she knew Rhys won't stop at anything to keep Layla safe, that he would love, cherish and guard her the same way he loved any other person in his family. That he'd protect her, even from her own self, from her demon and her self-inflicted wars.

"Your mama loves you so very much, my little love." Maliah kissed her Layla's cheeks, forehead, every inch of her face, trying to take in the fading baby-ish scent of her, the softness of her skin. Every little detail about her, from her small hands to her starry eyes."So damn much, Elayla." She whispered in Elayla's ear.

She smoothed her toddler's wild, short curls of hair, kissing the top of her head "Your mama loves you, Layla." She repeated, trying to say it for every following step she wouldn't be there for, every milestone she'd miss out on, every breath and every day they wouldn't share. "But you will be safer here, my darling. Much safer, much better."

Maliah wiped the single tear that found its way down her pale cheeks. She took off her thick woolen gray scarf, an old souvenir from her own mother, a far made proof of safety and comfort, she wrapped it around Layla tightly, to protect her from the cold. Then she tucked a piece of paper inside it.

A letter, an apology, a request...

A glimmer of hope for Layla gets the good life she deserved.

Layla's sleepy eyes still were only half open, and Maliah, feeling as if her heart was being ripped away from her chest, let her lay on the cold hard footstep. She felt a whimper ripping at her thought, taking a final glance at her sweet, sweet Elayla, before knocking at the door and stepping away from there, with her wings heavily hanging in her back, with her heart bleeding away with every step she took.

Rhysand, my dear old friend...

One of the many things I have missed for the past year is your presence, either it's the playful part all of your family knows and loves, or the powerful side that is feared by allies and foes alike.

I know that I have caused you great issues by disappearing into thin air, I apologize greatly for it, but I don't regret it, for it had allowed me to get the most precious gift you graced me with.

Born on the full moon of the third moth, Elayla is your daughter, Rhys, and I am sorry you will have to carry her on your own for the few upcoming years, but I cannot protect her on my own, and I will only bring danger upon her.

Take care of my little girl, raise her to be as good of a person as you are, and please keep her safe.

Until we meet again,

Mal.