Fangirl; shawmila

6

FLASHBACK - HOSPITAL, 7TH MONTH OF COMA.
SHAWN

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A sigh escaped my lips as the days went by slowly without Camila.

Once Nick said that, I ran back to the hospital and told Jack, Nicole, Zayn and Gigi about what he said. I told them I had to leave her life, their lives. They understood after some convincing and they helped me get rid of my existence from everywhere.

Starting from Instagram. But I made a post about how everyone needs to never mention me to Camila. My fans spread the word, they were loyal—after gaining their trust back. Everything went smoothly. My accounts got deleted, photos were erased from Camila's photos. Every trace of my existence was erased. And as was my name. Well, Surname. I kept Shawn, I threw away Mendes. And there came my life as a Rayment.

People who knew me on the streets were fans and people who weren't understood they couldn't say anything about me who used to be Shawn Mendes. Otherwise things would've got out of hand.

My friends Luke, Jack Johnson, and Matthew decided to still stay my friends, but go along with the plan of saying I'm an ordinary person.

But my urge to see my baby was too strong. So I decided to just check up on her one day. One day turned into two, two days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. I made sure nobody knew anything when I checked in.

Her lifeless state burned my heart, cracking it even more and bit by bit, it fell down into the pit of my hopeless soul. Like the rose in Beauty and the Beast. As my heart broke slowly, I would forget about Camila. I would love another.

But everyone knows that it wouldn't happen. Even if I were to love someone else, it wouldn't be stronger than what I felt for Camila. It's killing me. Life is killing me. Camila will wake up, thinking it was a dream as Jack and Nicole and the doctor will convince everyone it was.

I will no longer stay in her life when she wakes up. I will be a mere dream, nothing more. The happiness I once found will be destroyed for good.

"I miss you. I miss you even though you're in front of me." I admitted. I know she isn't talking, but she's here for the time being.

"It's funny how an Instagram crush that you had for me turned into a story like this. A heartbreaking, drama filled, romantic story." I chuckled out lowly, grabbing her hand and swiping my thumb across her knuckles slowly. She loved whenever I did something close to this. It eased her and helped her with anything she was facing.

My hand brought hers up to my face and I placed a small kiss on it. "How I just want to kiss your face, make love to you, have a whole life with you, Camila." Smiling sadly, I placed her hand down on the hospital bed, internally crying from just leaving it laying there again.

"I wanted to wake up with you in my arms, saying good morning. Sometimes even just have you smack my face whenever I woke you up early. I wanted you to make breakfast as our kids ran around the house, playing with each other. I wanted to hug you, call you Mrs. Mendes whenever you made food. I wanted to do everything with you.. but I can't. And I'm sorry." Tears already fell down but I quickly wiped them away. My heart yearned for her touch, her smile, her words. Anything.

"I'm so sorry baby, but I have to go now. I have to go for good before something happens again." I stood up and smiled painfully, memorizing her lifeless body for the last time like it was a memorizing card game. The moment I left the room, I didn't know that it was the day she'd wake up.

I shut the door, and her hand twitched as I left her life. But what I didn't know was that instead of me finding her, she would find me and come to me.