Secrets - Chanlix

Scene 7

Now Playing: Daylight - Taylor Swift

I guess it's not supposed to make sense. It's not supposed to be perfectly understandable. It's not supposed to be right.

I guess not all friends are supposed to get along all the time. I suppose it's okay to misunderstand. I guess it's not supposed to be perfect.

Jisung couldn't understand what was so wrong with asking Changbin a question, was there something beneath the cracks he didn't know? Was he supposed to know? Why were all his friends keeping so many secrets from him?

"Hey, Bin?" Jisung asked, as they were chilling in their shared dorm that weekend. Jisung was sprawled across the couch with his legs dangling over the armrest, doom-scrolling Instagram reels.

"Yeah?" The elder replied, sitting down comfortably on the floor with a mug of coffee in his hands and sipping slowly at it. His attention was turned up to the younger.

"You're always going on about how lonely you are, haven't you tried getting a girlfriend or something?" Jisung said, genuinely curious.

Something about that question triggered Changbin. He had tried. He had tried so hard to get a girlfriend or go on dates but everytime it felt so wrong. It always left him feeling uncomfortable in his skin for days, so he gave up. For the longest time, he felt broken or like something was wrong with him. Until he started to research, sooner or later, things became clearer. He was aromantic and asexual (aroace) meaning he didn't experience romantic or sexual attraction to other people. He loved love, however and loved seeing people in love. It was like art to him, beautiful and something just to see and admire. His friends, including Jisung, didn't know this. He didn't know Changbin was aroace and had no way of knowing, yet it still angered the older and hit a nerve that Jisung was gonna regret hitting.

"Why do you care?" Changbin snapped, taking another sip of coffee and burning his tongue on the harsh heat.

"I was just asking. I'm trying to help."

Changbin always rushed to the defensive, Jisung knew that. Jisung did that too, it was apart of his ADHD. RSD (or rejection sensitivity disorder) very obviously affected the both of them and made it even harder when they, like friends do, clashed.

"I don't care, you aren't helping!" Changbin's words just fell from his mouth, he had no time to think. His frustration fueled him and left the words collasping from his lips. Some he didn't mean. "You never help."

"What do you mean by that?" Jisung's energy increased, matching Changbin's aura. He fed off his own frustration and Changbin's, that was never a good sign.

"I mean-" Changbin began, getting angrier by the second. "You always have to ask stupid questions like that and claim it's your way of helping! When it isn't helping at all and is just worsening the situation!"

"WELL I'M SORRY! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TAPE MY FUCKING MOUTH SHUT THEN? WOULD THAT BE BETTER FOR YOU?" Jisung yelled, his patience leaving with the first word of the sentence.

"Probably." Changbin muttered, definitely not expecting Jisung to jump from his seat and run out the door, slamming it shut behind him. It was too late for Changbin to realise he had gone too far.

Jisung was running down the corridors, heading for Minho's dorm with tears streaming down his cheeks. Why would one of his best friend's say something like that? Was Changbin right? And why did Jisung ask another stupid question?

When he arrived at the door, he banged on it aggressively. He mentally begged for someone to come open it. He just didn't expect for it to be who it was.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KN-

"Okay okay! Chill!" A familiar voiced called out. When the door opened, a face was put to the voice, Hyunjin. "Oh, hi Jisung-"

"Is Minho here?" Jisung sniffed, tears still dripping from his eyes. He looked at Hyunjin's concerned expression, they may not be close but the guy was sweet. Jisung just had to admit it.

"Uh, no, he's at work." Hyunjin explained, a lightbulb going off in Jisung's head at the reminder of it being the weekend.

'Shit.' Jisung thought, without his favourite person, what was he gonna do?

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin wasn't devious or deceitful, he wore his heart on his sleeve and always made sure to be kind. That kindness and care always could be heard in his voice, especially to Jisung at that moment.

"Is Chan here?" Jisung muttered, just desperate to find one of his friends.

"No, he hasn't been seen in days. Minho says he hears him come home at like midnight every night though."

"Shit." Jisung spoke, his tears and sniffs becoming rough sobs.

"Hey, hey, come in. Please." Hyunjin said, rushing to guide Jisung inside. He hated to see the usually smiling boy, in such an emotional state.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with me like this." Jisung apologised as a concerned Hyunjin sat him down on the couch.

"No, no, it's fine. I wanna make sure you're okay." Hyunjin's gentle voice spoke.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Hyunjin paused for a second, before continuing. "Do you wanna talk about it or...?"

"Can I just, have a hug?" Jisung asked, slightly hesitant.

He didn't expect Hyunjin to just pull him into a tight hug on the spot, holding one hand against the male's head and stroking his hair. Hyunjin's other arm was wrapped around Jisung, allowing him to just sob into his chest. If that's what he needed, Hyunjin was willing to give that.

"Thank you, Hyune." Jisung spoke into the man's chest, his voice sounded hoarse from all the crying. The nickname slightly shocked the older, but he just smiled.

"No need to thank me." Hyunjin replied, resisting the urge to kiss Jisung's hair. God was he down bad for that boy (and Minho, obviously).

-----------------------------

I wanna be defined by the things I love,
Not the things I hate,
Not the things I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of,
Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night,
I, I just think that,
You are what you love

- Daylight

SCENE 7