Mingyu was unsurprised by the awkwardness bubbling between him and Wonwoo the next day. They hadn't talked, the only interaction being the confirmation Wonwoo got from him for the usual Calculus.
The class Mingyu sat in that day made him question his course choices, although there was nothing different the professor did; she went on with her usual ramble about Administration. This was one of the three classes Mingyu didn't have with Wonwoo, and his mind suddenly thought about which class the boy would be in, if not this one. Now that Mingyu let his mind get away, he realised he had no clue of Wonwoo's courses, except for the ones they shared. He made a mental note of asking Wonwoo later, in the evening.
What he'd seen yesterday had left a lasting impact on him. He knew self-harm was a thing, but knowing someone who took it to such lengths came as a big shock to Mingyu. He wondered what might have happened for Wonwoo to do such a thing, and then act so nonchalant about it.
Not that Mingyu would pry – especially since he knew Wonwoo wouldn't let him. From what he'd been able to gather from all encounters he'd had with Wonwoo up till now, Mingyu figured one thing for sure: Wonwoo did not like anyone meddling in his business, no matter how serious it might be, and he wasn't even open to being helped.
Mingyu knew the type of person he was. Wonwoo was the kind that remained silent as a shadow, and tried to deal with his problems himself. Even if he ended up breaking and failing, no one would know until he let them.
"Mr. Kim! Class is over,"
The professor announced from the front of the classroom, as Mingyu snapped out of his headspace and took a look around himself. Sure enough, the classroom was empty, except for him and the professor – who readied herself to leave as well. Muttering a quiet 'sorry', Mingyu bowed and exited the room.
He was about to get his stuff from the locker, but then he realised he had to sit with Wonwoo in the library. This was supposed to be a twice-in-a-week thing, but he found Wonwoo asking him everyday. Mingyu didn't mind; it gave him an excuse to not return to his house early.
As he entered the empty library, only his shoes slapping the wooden flooring, he heard low whimpers echoing inside. He found it strange; the library was usually always empty during late afternoons.
When he stopped at his usual table, he found Wonwoo being the source of the sounds, sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. "Hey Wonwoo?" Mingyu whispered, as to not startle him.
Wonwoo's head shot up, as he furiously wiped his tears when he realised it was Mingyu speaking. "Yeah, we could start now,"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive," Wonwoo said miserably. Mingyu wanted to point out the obvious absence of any will in the boy to study, but he decided against it.
Needless to say, Wonwoo was lost for most of the session, zoning out every two minutes and then being shaken out of his trance by Mingyu.
"I think it's enough for the day," declared Mingyu, unable to keep up with the tense atmosphere.
"It hasn't even been an hour, though,"
"I just remembered I have some work at my house, Mother might get worried," Good lord, that felt weird to say; Mingyu cringed inwardly. His mother was never one to get worried over something so menial as her son.
"Okay,"
Mingyu noticed a relieved undertone in Wonwoo's voice. Standing up and packing his things, Mingyu exited the library without another word, leaving Wonwoo alone.
He thought it was best for Wonwoo to be left alone for the day.
It wasn't.
--
"Mingyu! Oh my gods, have you heard?!"
Chaeyeon shrieked as soon as her eyes landed on Mingyu entering the building the next morning. Mingyu, clearly taken aback by Chaeyeon pouncing on him early in the morning, recoiled at her skittishness. "What?"
"Jeon Wonwoo!"
"What about him?"
"He tried to, you know..." Chaeyeon hesitated. She eventually pointed to a window inside a nearby classroom.
Mingyu felt as though all the blood had halted in his system. He tried not to gasp, failing eventually, when a soft, suppressed sound of surprise left his mouth. Chaeyeon stared at him with confused eyes – something he would have liked to address – but he stopped himself from questioning her about it. He had more important matters to enquire about.
"How-" Mingyu gulped thickly, "How did you find out?!"
"It's all over the news. It says it happened yesterday, late afternoon."
Late afternoon. That meant nearly right after Mingyu left the library yesterday. "Where is he?"
"Where else do you think?"
"Hospital..?"
"Bingo,"
Mingyu remained silent for a while, trying to process what he'd just heard. Nothing had felt off about Wonwoo in the past days, had it? Well, everything except the tiny smile he'd seen two days ago. It had never occurred to Mingyu that it might have had something to do with Wonwoo's attempt yesterday. Nothing seemed to fit properly, and it felt too vague to crack.
The again, Mingyu wouldn't know, since he'd never dealt with such serious trauma that made him think suicide was the only solution. Wonwoo had looked completely fine up till yesterday, when he'd been crying in the library. He'd cried the day before as well. Mingyu couldn't really tell the difference.
Mingyu felt charged, and responsible for whatever Wonwoo did. If he hadn't left Wonwoo alone last afternoon, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Calculus could have distracted him enough to not think of it.
That didn't ensure anything, Mingyu realised soon enough. Wonwoo could have attempted sometime else then.
Mingyu made a rash decision. "Hey Chaeyeon?" he called, before she could walk away. "Does the news say which hospital he's at?"
"Who? Jeon Wonwoo?"
"Yeah,"
"Oh. Seoul National,"
"Okay,"
Mingyu practically jogged away, stopping when Chaeyeon yelled, "Mingyu?"
"Hm?" he turned, impatience enveloping his actions.
"Where are you going?"
"Back to the house, I don't feel like it today,"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just tired,"
"Okay, be safe!"
Mingyu flashed a thumbs-up, and left. Not to go back, as he had claimed, but to visit Wonwoo at Seoul National.
