Wonwoo wondered why life suddenly felt a lot shittier than it did back at his parents' house. Nothing seemed to be going right, almost as if he were being forced on a rollercoaster plunging downwards, along with spectators too. Just, he had no idea if said spectators (Mingyu) wanted anything to do with him and his bumpy life.
On many occasions, guilt clawed at Wonwoo for leaving his parents behind, often leaving him wondering how they must be doing without him. Would they be worried? Or relieved instead? Unanswered questions clung to his mind, and he wished for answers at times. But on other occasions, he thought he was better off without them. Life was as peaceful as it could be – not at all pleasing – without answers he knew he would never get.
At times, he internally retched whenever the thought crossed his mind, Wonwoo couldn't help but miss his parents. Or at least, the atmosphere in the house, no matter how edgy. It wasn't necessarily the best feeling, but it was familiar, and that made it easy for him to go about his day like he normally did.
But here at the dorms, it was always dead silent – except for the times Mingyu went into an obnoxious humming fit – and the silence sent shivers up Wonwoo's spine. Despite being aware of a second presence, even if it was just Mingyu, Wonwoo didn't like staying indoors; it suffocated him enough to make him go insane some day.
He sank deeper and deeper into something indescribable. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to know what it was that he was drowning in. It sounded too daunting to understand. All he knew was that he wanted to escape, by hook or crook.
After the whole shenanigan involving erasing any traces of him at the dorms, Wonwoo thought life would slowly fall back into place. That definitely didn't happen; if anything, it remained stagnant. He slowly found himself thinking back more and more to the time he lived in his parents' house. It was the only place with the slightest hints of Somi, after all.
Leaving the house on a whim had felt like a huge betrayal to her. Not to mention that it made Wonwoo feel terrible; he'd have nowhere to go whenever he felt overwhelmed.
He just hoped Somi would come and visit him once again, just like the time she'd done when he was in the hospital.
--
When Wonwoo's classes were done for the day, he wanted anything but to return to the dorm. He hadn't seen Mingyu around after lunch, and assumed he'd be in the library or something. Hence, wanting to avoid stepping inside his room, Wonwoo detoured towards the library. The librarian sent him a disbelieved glare, which he barely acknowledged. His mind was set on finding Mingyu.
As he reached the usual table he and Mingyu used to sit at, Wonwoo, much to his disappointment, found no signs of him. Trying not to think much of the fact that Mingyu wasn't anywhere nearby, he decided it was best if he returned to his room. A nap would probably clear his frustration.
Much to his relief, Mingyu was already at the dorm. Wonwoo threw his bag in his bedroom, and came outside to see Mingyu in the kitchen struggling with fucking cup ramen. Even toddlers could do better.
Mingyu, when he noticed Wonwoo's presence, turned with a dumb smile, eyes pleading for help. "The kettle won't listen to me," he said.
"What the fuck?"
"I can't boil the water, goddammit!"
Wonwoo scanned the area where Mingyu worked. He wanted to slap his face, and claw his hair out, when he noticed what Mingyu had been complaining about. "Mingyu," Wonwoo tried to keep the frustration from his voice, "look at the fucking switch,"
Mingyu, without questioning further, despite looking clueless, did as he was told. When he realised, his dumb smile widened into a grin. Muttering a quiet 'oops', he turned his back to Wonwoo, and continued his activity.
"Aren't you hungry?" Mingyu shouted, when Wonwoo moved out of the kitchen.
"No!" Wonwoo yelled back, going back to whatever he'd planned to do – solely as a distraction.
When two hours went by without purpose, discomfort began creeping up to Wonwoo. He hadn't gotten anything done, since he'd spent all that time flumped on, and glued to, his bed. His next resort decided to be a brief walk outside.
Muttering a short 'I'm going out', just in case Mingyu went frantic later, Wonwoo clicked the door open and moved downstairs.
The campus was quite silent at this time of the day, he observed. He went along wherever his feet took him. When he registered his surroundings a while later, he found himself standing against a railing, on a bridge over a river. He craned his neck and looked underneath the bridge, the golden-pink hue from the setting sun reflecting as it was on the river's surface. Wonwoo had truly never seen anything so scenic, and it made him want to experience being part of it himself.
A few passers-by looked at him weirdly, probably wondering why a scrawny boy was bent over a railing, and looked at a fucking river so intently. Well, Wonwoo thought they'd clearly never seen anything as alluring as what he had his eyes on.
Wonwoo didn't think further, the desperation for a serene peace – just like the one he saw on the river's surface – clouding his ability to form rational thoughts.
And Wonwoo jumped.
Or at least, he tried to.
A bony hand pulled at his T-shirt from the back, just as he was about to go over the railing. He growled, throwing a million curses at the person who had stopped him. He roughly shook his shoulders, making the grip on his top loosen, and Wonwoo turned around to look at the person who had tried to take his only chance at peace away.
"I really don't like the way your sister rubbed off on you, Wonwoo, you need help,"
His mum's voice, dripping with dissatisfaction and disappointment, jabbed at him – who stared at her with hardened eyes. It always had to be one of his parents, didn't it?
