Always Have Been, Always Will Be

12

[ ◉¯]

Chapter 12

Healing

Guilty. I felt guilty.

I admit that it was wrong for me to assume that the problems in his life were only stuff involving girls, but it turned out that there was something deeper than just the fault line itself. I shouldn't have been quick to assume that his life was all breeze and butterflies just because to me, he was always bubbly, fun, and always laughing.

Anyone can smile even when they're in blue, but smiling doesn't automatically mean they're in yellow. I should have known that myself.

I then recalled the night when he insisted me to stay with him by Seven-Eleven where he said he needed company because he was down. He probably also went out to clear his head just like I did, when I was quick to invalidate his feelings. And now that I was imagining how I must've hurt him by saying that, it was like a knife to my chest. I was a cup overflowing with guilt.

We are all humans after all. With different sides. And we shouldn't define other people by their good days, neither their bad days. Because good days don't mean they're happy, and bad days don't mean they're weak. Time is unpredictable—you might be jumping with happiness now, and then be crying your eyes out the next day.

"Oy, gising na."

Nakaramdam ako ng pagyugyog sa aking katawan kaya kaagad akong napaungol at napatakip ng mukha ko gamit ang unan.

"Aba, at nagpapakipot pa talaga." I heard Thaianara's voice in disbelief. "Hoy! Gumising ka na kasi nagsisiyahan na kami sa pool tapos ikaw nganga pa rin!"

I groaned and rolled over to lay down on my stomach, uninterested. Malapit na ulit akong makatulog nang makaramdam ako ng malakas na hampas ng unan sa ulo ko.

Kaagad kong iminulat ang aking mga mata, nakakunot ang noo nang iniluwal ng paningin ko si Thaianara na naka-two piece na, ngunit lang mas nauna kong napansin ang kaniyang iritadong mukha.

Nasa impyerno na ba ako?

Alam kong hindi naman ako yung naging pinakamabait pero masyado pa naman sigurong maaga?

"Gumising ka na diyan at magbihis, mukha kang timang!" Singhal sa akin ni Thaianara at tsaka humarap sa salamin at nag-apply ng kung ano-ano sa kaniyang mukha.

I stretched my arms and legs as I sat up straight from the bedding on the floor. I scanned the whole room and it immediately registered to me that I was still at Swyney's house after the night at Clarkson's party. Isa-isa pang bumalik sa ulo ko ang lahat na nangyari kagabi at parang na-overload pa yung utak ko kaya saglit pa akong napatulala sa higaan na ikinagalit naman ni Thaianara.

"Oh my gosh, Elize. Ang bagal mo! Mag-t-twelve na, oh!" Asik niya habang tinitingnan ako galing sa malaking vanity mirror ni Swyney.

Binalingan ko ang wall clock at napa-irap ako nang makitang mag-a-alas diyes pa lang naman. I removed the blanket from my lower body and stood up straight before glaring at Thaianara.

"You're so dramatic, Thai. Dalawang oras pa bago mag-twelve." I hissed and knelt back on the floor to make the bed.

Thaianara growled. "Regardless! Late ka nang magising! Kanina pa sila nag-e-enjoy sa pool. Hindi ka lang nga muna raw gisingin kasi baka kailangan mo pa ng extrang tulog."