We Survived.

~ Fourteen

Friday, August 3rd, 2017

Nobody's POV

Dion's face lit up with a wide smile as his father finally pulled into the driveway after what felt like an eternity. Nikki needed to leave as soon as possible, and Greg was the perfect person to make that happen. In DJ's opinion, Nikki was the villain; after all, she was the one who made Mommy cry, and that was not okay!

DJ: Finally!

The boy ran out of his parents's bedroom and bolted down the stairs, rushing to the front door. His father was taking Kashmir out for her car seat.

DJ: Dad!

Greg: Hey, son.

Kashmir: DJ!

DJ: Hey Kash, um, pop I need to tell you something.

Greg: What's going on?

DJ: Nikki yelled and cussed at mom.

Greg: What?

DJ could see the anger starting to grow on Greg's face.

DJ: Yeah, pop, and she cussed and yelled at me too!

Ten Minutes Later

Greg: I want her out!

Dorinda: Greg...

Greg: I'm serious; I knew she'd bring nothing but trouble, like she always does. I mean, she called you a bitch!

Dorinda: And so have you.

Greg: No. Don't do that; this isn't about me. This is about your daughter, thinking she can walk into my house and disrespect everyone in here. I retired so I could have peace and spend my days with you and the kids. Not argue about a twenty-seven-year-old adult who can't get her sh*t together.

Dorinda: This is my house too! I'm tired of you trying to dictate everything that goes on in here.

Greg: I'm tired of fighting about her. Every single time she comes back around, you act stupid, you can never see past her bullshit, and I'm always the bad guy, always the asshole.

Dorinda: Because you are a fucking asshole, you're so blinded by the fact that she didn't turn out how you wanted that you can't see she needs help!

Greg: How much help can one person need?! Damn near 10 different rehabs, therapists, counselors, and the whole nine yards!

As Greg approaches his wife, he moves in very close, invading her personal space. Dorinda becomes tense, experiencing flashbacks of the years when she was physically abused and berated. Her heart races and her body tenses up as she tries to push down the memories and the fear that still overwhelm her. The invasion of her personal space triggers a deep sense of unease and triggers a fight or flight response within her.

Greg: She doesn't want the help, and I'm done wasting my time, money, and energy on that girl. I'm washing my hands with her, and I don't want her in this goddamned house; you don't like it, too bad.

Dorinda could see he'd reached his breaking point, but this was their home and their child, not just hers. He can't just "wash his hands"; he's Nikkia's father forever.

Dorinda: You'd turn your back on your own, daughter?

Greg: That's not my daughter; my baby girl was kind, loving, and, hell, she was sweet. I don't know who that little demon is, and I don't want her around us.

Dorinda: Wow, so back when you were cheating on me and whooping my ass every weekend, I should've left you? When you got into a car accident with our son and broke his leg, or when you almost killed me in that hotel room-

Greg: ENOUGH!

Dorinda: You ain't guiltless, nigha; ugh, I swear, sometimes I think I should've left you all those years ago.

Greg: Are you serious?

Dorinda: Dead serious.

Greg: All those years we spent in counseling, talking about forgiveness and repentance—that was all bullshit?

Dorinda: Oh no, I forgave you. I just sure didn't forget; I mean, how could I? I've got the scars to remind me every single day!

Greg: Would you keep your voice down?

Dorinda: Why? You don't want your "new set of kids" to know who you really are? Is that it, Greg?

Greg: I'm not playing; let's go.

Greg grabs his wife's wrist, but she quickly pulls away.

Dorinda: Get off me! I'm tired of you. For thirty damn years, you've been controlling my life. And I'm done letting you get away with it.

Dorinda walks into the kitchen, grabs her purse and phone, and starts making her way to the garage. As she moved through the house, Doe's mind raced with so many different thoughts. Less than ten minutes ago, everything was fine, but now, all that mess and memories from the past are coming back. Once Doe got in her car, she hesitated to put the key in the ignition.

Greg: Baby, where are you going?

He pulls the car handle, but it's locked. The couple makes eye contact, and for a minute, both are completely still. Gregory has a look of surprise and anger, while Dorinda has tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

Greg: D, come inside so we can talk!

The base of his voice was just too aggressive. So, Dorinda started her car but forgot that she didn't lift the garage door, and for the life of her, she still can't figure out how to use the app on her phone that does it. Greg must've seen her mistake and decided to walk behind her car and stand directly behind it. There's not a chance he'll will let her leave. She was the one who enforced the rule that they never leave the house in a fight; you can go anywhere, just not past the mailbox. After a few minutes, Dorinda turns off her car but doesn't get out.

Greg: God, please don't let me rage out on this woman.

He slowly walks over to the driver's side door, taking deep breaths and trying to keep calm. He always got the feeling Dorinda never truly forgave him, after all the things he did were almost universally bad, but still, it's been over a decade since any of that happened; hasn't it been long enough?

Dorinda: Why can't you just let me be?

Her voice is kind of faint behind the glass, making it hard for Greg to hear all that she's saying.

Greg: Babe, open the door, please?

Dorinda: I just want to go...

Greg: Why are you trying to leave? We always talk stuff out.

Dorinda: I don't want to talk; I just need to go.

Greg: So you're running out on me now; that's what we do?

Dorinda: I'm sick of being the only person who wants things to work. I need some space from everybody in this house. You and all your kids are driving me nuts.

Greg: It's not me and the kids; it's your daughter. I told you that every time she comes home, some shit starts, and you and I start beefing.

Doe unlocks the car door and signals Greg to come and get in. He does, and for a minute, it's silent. Both are looking out their windows, avoiding the conversation. But Greg knowing that his wife is hurting decides to speak the real truth that's inside his heart

Greg: When she's around, it hurts.

Dorinda: What hurts?

Greg: When Nikki's here.

The man's sighs rubbing his hand down his mustache.

Greg: I know that I look at her like you and the rest of the world look at me.

Dorinda: So that's why you don't love her anymore, huh? Because she reminds you of yourself?

Greg: How could you think I don't love my daughter? She's the person who made me a father. I'm just disappointed in myself. She gets her addiction issues from me; it's my fault she's like this, and I can't even help her fix it.

Doe looks at her husband, and she can see tears filling up his eyes. Gregory hardly ever cries; all his life, he's been extremely old-fashioned and traditional in so many ways. So his crying is almost certainly rare.

Greg: I failed my daughter, Dorinda. I exposed her to all the same toxic bullshit my dad showed me. And by the grace of God, Jay was just young enough that I didn't infect him like I did her. And you're right, I don't want DJ and Kashmir to see that version of me because I'm not that guy anymore. I've changed, I've grown, and I've learned as a man, husband, and especially a daddy. And I fucks me up that you can't see that D.

Dorinda: I see that, baby. I do. I'm sorry about what I said earlier; I didn't really mean anything I said. I just meant that when you're with Nikki, you act like the old you. But in every other instance, you show me how much you've changed. And I'm so proud of you; like my guy, you did a whole 180 twelve years ago.

Greg smiles and grabs his wife's hand, kissing it a couple times before interlocking their fingers. This woman had been his rock; not only was she good to him, but she never purposely hurt him back, even during the worst of his bullshit.

Greg: I'm sorry, too. And because I know it's important to you, I'll fry and fix things with Nik, even though I don't know how. So... What about you and her? How are you going to handle that?

Dorinda: I have no idea. But baby, I want you to make things right with Nikkia because you want to make them right, not because that's what you think I want.

Greg: I'm not, I'm doing it because she's my kid and I love her. But you know, whenever you want me to do something, I make it a point to get it done.

Dorinda: Yeah, that's true. But I think you really have to talk to God about this bae. I've been praying for years and he's not showing me how; so maybe he'll show you.

Greg: Hopefully. Now, let's talk about what you said earlier.

Dorinda: Babe, I told you I was just upset. I know you're a different man now.

Greg: Yeah, but obviously you still think about it.

Dorinda: Of course I do. I'll always think about that stuff; it's part of our story, and even though it's the worst chapter in our book, it still happened.

Greg: I wish I hadn't, if I had known better back then, baby I-

Dorinda: But you didn't, and neither did I. I'm please don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that we were still married but I definitely should have left you back then, especially when things got bad, if not for me for the kids but I wasn't strong enough. We all deserved better back then, even you.

Greg: I didn't deserve shit. Hell, I still don't. That's how I know God's plan is big: if a scumbag like me can still get a good life, then anyone can.

Dorinda: You are not a scumbag; you're a man who's made mistakes but changed them, and I love you.

Dorinda cups her husband's face in her hands and gives him a kiss. The love they have is unmatched. It's special and truly beautiful, and yeah, they've been through hell, but they came out on the other side; together.

Thoughts 💭???

We're rooting for GIGI and Pop 🫶🏾❤️