if only we had made it

Jack

(YEAHHHH YOU ALREADY KNOWWW!!!!)

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That rude inconsiderate jerk didn't even tell me he almost lost his head in a car accident.

Okay, I know I'm exaggerating but am I really??

He got a concussion for god's sake, like come on he's supposed to tell me these things, and he didn't.

I am the air he breathes. 

His whole purpose for existing.

Aside from Autumn. 

Unfair by the way.

Im his one and only friend.

Well, I'm not.

BUT I SHOULD BE. 

How unfair -yet again- is it that he's my only friend but he's allowed to have friends other than me?

He's cheating on me on the daily and I can't even do anything about it cause we're in an open relationship.

I guess I'll just hang out with the other people who call me their friends. I never really fully considered them my friends though. Friends don't treat you the way they treat me and Finny.

Truth be told Fin's not even their friend. I think he just learned to care about them from being around them so often. 

Im Finnys friend. 

The one who takes over seeing Sylvie so he doesn't have to be her fake boyfriend and risk losing the real boyfriend spot he snagged with Autumn.

Im not even upset.

I know what I got myself into. 

I've always been fascinated by Sylvie. 

There was just something about her. 

I guess you could call it a crush.

I had drunkenly told Finny once that I had a crush on his girlfriend but he didn't even try to defend Sylvie. 

Nope.

He jumped right in and in a firm but slurred tone due to his own intoxication told me to 'Keep your dirty paws off Autumn, she's too good for you.'"

 I Knew at that moment he was in love with her. It took him forever to admit it and I honestly don't believe he remembers that he even referred to Autumn as his girlfriend. They were not even on speaking terms at the time let alone hanging out enough for her to be considered his girlfriend but I guess to Finny, Autumn was always his girlfriend in one way or another. 

I call bull though.

Autumn had Fin wrapped so tight around her pinky finger that it cut the circulation and turn her whole pinky purple. 

And Finny didn't have a single problem with it.

Neither did I.

That's why I stood here today on Sylvie's doorstep ready to get yelled at because im not who she wants here. 

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 

A few seconds later it swung open to a smiling Sylvie clad in silky shorts and a white tank top. 

She really was beautiful, probably the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.  She never really paid too much attention to me though which ill never know why cause I'm amazing. 

Her smile quickly dropped from her face once she realized it was me standing at her door and not her boyfriend. 

"He didn't," she says.

I shrug.

"UGHH, you are both unbelievable." 

She stomps her foot and turns back into her house not closing the door, so I take that as my invitation to walk in. 

Gently shutting the door behind me I watch her climb the stairs skipping a step with each step she takes. 

I wait awkwardly in her hallway before a throat clears beside me, swiveling I turn to find Sylvie's father standing in the dining room with a mug of coffee in his hand.

"Hi sir, I'm here to keep Sylvie company because Finny couldn't today,"

"And why could my daughter's boyfriend be here for his girlfriend?" He takes a sip of his coffee as he asks the question but his eyes never leave mine.

They just stare into my soul across the rip of that white mug. 

"Finnys in a pretty bad way with leaving the house right now, It was- in my opinion- pretty messed up to make him leave the house so early simply because Sylvie needs the company when her family and other friends are more than capable of doing that as well, don't you think?"

He doesn't remove the cup from his lips nor his eyes from mine as he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

I don't blame him I'm even surprised that I just said those words to him too. 

"Im just gonna-" I point in the direction of the stairs that lead to Sylvie's room, "Go and hang out with your daughter" I turn before turning back to him I do this three more times, "Yeah bye" 

When I get to the top of the stairs I hear the TV playing from Sylvie's room.

Shes watching One Tree Hill again. 

I don't even blame her it's a really good show. 

Nathen and Hailey all the way. 

And Brooke totally deserved that ending holy cow. 

I don't knock on the open door before walking in. I've been to Sylvia's house with Finny enough times to know that if her doors open it is free to enter but if it's closed to knock or don't knock and leave her alone. 

"so what are we watching?" I ask

She rolls her eyes. 

"You know well enough what's on and we are not watching anything because you are leaving."

"You see I do not really think you want me to leave."

She gives me a look that I can only describe as her saying 'Oh really' before saying "And how do you presume that?"

"Because one you didn't close the front door in my face and two because you didn't close your bedroom door either. Everyone knows the rules when it comes to your doors." I move towards her bed pushing her to the side a little, not hard enough to hurt her but just enough to have her need to put her hand to the side to stop her from falling over like a bowling pin. "Now scoot over, did she find out she was pregnant yet?"

"Who?"

"Brooke."

"Well, technically she already knows it's just her waiting to tell everyone that it's revealed because she finds out through the pee testing remember?" she says.

"Ahh yeah okay you are right."

"Even so no she doesn't like Julian right now she was attacked in her store three episodes ago." 

And that's how we spend the night, we watch One Tree Hill and bicker over who knows the scenes better. Its me of course, I've watched the show four times myself and then again two times because my mom wanted to watch it then my sister but I let her have this because I don't know if I have the heart to take that from her. Especially with the way she smiles when she talks about it. 

She's so beautiful when she smiles. 

I shouldn't admit that tough, I know Finny wouldn't have an issue with it but the idea was a little weird to me. 

Who knows I'm probably still invisible to her anyways.