Paper Planes | Jungkook ff

Confession

"Stop", I say with all determination, "do you think you're the only one who has a say in this?"

I'm breathing hardly and my body trembles but not because of fear or cold.
From anger.
I'm really mad right now and the reason for that is the person who actually makes me the happiest.

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turns around to face me, the expression on his face is hard and unreadable but still gives away a hint of confusion. He doesn't say anything but looks at a certain spot on the floor,
obviously avoiding my gaze.

"Why are you always like that?", I ask fiercly.
He still refuses to meet my eyes.

"Do you remember when you told me about your bad habit? That you make decisions on your own, without considering the people who are involved in that decision of yours?", my voice shakes but that doesn't prevent me from continuing, "just now, you did it again. You're always doing it, over and over again and I'm tired of it.
I'm fucking tired", I raise my voice, "you're unbelievable.

Calm down Olivia

"What happened yesterday was not easy for the both of us. But I told you many times already that it wasn't your fault. Why would you take the blame for the cruelty of others? You said you changed and you refused fighting. These guys didn't accept your change of behavior but one day they will.
They have to.
If people couldn't escape their pasts then I wouldn't be here. I would still be a pathetic drug addict rotting in the same place with the same people".
I wait for him to say anything or at least meet my gaze but he's still looking down.
Suddenly he mumbles a quiet 'I'm sorry' and my frustration increases again and I can't control myself so I shout
"STOP APOLOGIZING!", I take a step closer to him, "I don't want you to apologize to me and I don't want to scold you as if you're a kid. If you had a solid reason to push me away, I would've accepted it. But this is literally ridiculous", I take another step forward.
"Jungkook look at me", I demand and finally he meets my eyes.
My heart hurts again when I see his red eyes full with sadness and sorrow. I never saw him that hurt, not even after what happened yesterday.

"How dare you", my voice breaks, "how dare you hurting me and yourself? When I look back I remember how you literally forced yourself into my life", I close my eyes and replay the things we've been through, "You forced me on a date, you forced me to let you in my house and take care of me while I was being sick. You forced me out of a club and you forced me to distance myself from other guys. You even forced me to watch you beat up some guys and the next day you forced yourself again into my life", I scoff bitterly in disbelief while looking to the side, "And now you're forcing me to let you go? You're absolutely worse than a drug. At least drugs don't leave someone after making themselves addicted."

He opens his mouth to say something but I don't give him the chance to,

"You..can't just force yourself into my heart, touch my soul, and then leave..",
a single tear slips through my eye,

"Jungkook, I love you"

I said it.
I finally said it.

He widens his eyes in shock and we silently look at each other for a few seconds.

"Its too late now for you to leave me"

He's completely frozen and too stunned to speak as if his body stopped working and his brain stopped thinking. Suddenly he slowly approachs me while his expression changed completely. Instead of sadness and sorrow there's confusion, disbelief and something else I can't read.

"Olivia", he says my name so softly and gently takes me in his arms causing me burst into tears.
I tried my best to hold it together but after feeling his touch, breathing his scent,I couldn't help but let it all out.
I realized that the reason for my anger wasn't frustration.