Human Again

Alice

"Alice" By PEGGY

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was, at best, awkward. But Kakashi had grinned and bared it. Well, maybe not the grinning part. He mostly listened to whatever Kushina was blabbing about and avoided Minato's gaze that almost never left him. Constantly assessing him. He was glad when it was over. As Kushina began clearing things away in the kitchen he pulled on a cloak Itachi had lended him that morning from his ANBU stash. Claiming it was going to get cold that night. Just as he reached the door Minato stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
"Kakashi, stay a moment."

"I already said-"

"I just want to talk."

"I don't—"
His voice hitched and he swallowed down the scraping in his throat.
"I don't want to talk."

"Please. Kakashi,"
Minato stepped closer.
"Just for a minute. Talk to me."

"I—"

"Kakashi,"
He paused, thinking his words over carefully.
"Just come sit a moment and listen. You don't have to say a word if you don't want to and you can leave the moment I finishing talking if that's what you want. Please?"
Ten minutes, Kakashi told himself. He would listen for ten minutes and then leave to find Itachi, if he could, before heading back to the lake.
After he nodded Minato led him to the couch and they both sat. After exchanging a few quiet words with her husband Kushina went out, leaving the two of them alone. And alone they sat, side by side, on the couch. Both tense, both gripping their legs with nerves. Then Minato spoke.
"I know you've suffered. And I know you don't want to talk about it or feel like you can't. I know your angry and you want to be alone. But I also know that you are hurting and lonely. I don't know what drew you to him but I'm glad you've found a friend in that Uchiha boy. And I know... that Obito's condition can be startling. I've been there. When I was first told I... felt so useless."
He leaned forward, rubbing his brow with the hand that rested on his knee.
"He's in a lot of pain. He's confused and scared. His mind is lost. And, Kakashi, I want you to know that there is an almost definite possibility that he will never fully recover. He will have to learn to be human again, to be a person. And he will have to learn who we are all over again."
Lifting his head he set his eyes on the boy. He sat stiff as a board, eyes on the ground, hands rubbing up and down his upper legs.
"He needs us Kakashi. He needs all of us to be there for him."
Minato laid a hand on his shoulder.
"What?"
He asked when he heard the boy mutter something.

"To do what? He needs us to do what? Sit here and cry for him?"
Kakashi shoved the hand away, rising to his feet.
"No. I'm not doing this again!"
His eyes burned but he pushed it away.
"I can't do that again. Not even for him. I can't-"
His voice caught with a sob that he hated, tears falling from his eyes that he couldn't stand. Furiously he wiped away at them.
"I can't do that again! I can't go back to that place! I hate that place!"
He screamed. Minato rose to his feet as well, stepping closer, but he was pushed away with a hard shove.
"Don't! Don't touch me! I don't need you! I don't- you don't need me! Stop trying to keep me! None of you need me! Stop acting like you need me! You don't have to keep pretending! I know I can't- can't be or do anything. Not for you or Obito or anyone. I know you all want me dead! So just let me die!"
A hand was slapped across his face and he stumbled back. Nearly collapsing into the wall behind him, catching himself on a nearby dresser. Hands roughly grabbed his shoulders and forced him upright. Minato's cold blue eyes bore into him.

"What are you talking about?"
He hissed. Yellow electricity seemed to buzz around his golden hair.
"You can't clear your apartment, dump your stuff, then start talking like that. Your not dying anytime soon your still young. You have a whole life ahead of you."

"To do what?"
He choked out through his dry throat.
"Age? Watch? Wait? While everyone else dies?"

The pain that ached in his chest, Minato knew, was nothing compared to what his boy must have been suffering. The pressure from all sides that must have been pushing in on him for so long to have him break down like this. To fall this far. To tear him into so many pieces. He was talking about death, he was thirteen, death should be the furthest thing from his mind.  Minato stepped back.
"Your tired. Let me set you up a place on the couch. You'll stay here until... until further notice."
As he turned to step away he heard Kakashi's strained voice again.

"Is that a Hokage's order?"

"If it has to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It must have been near midnight when Kushina returned. All lights were off but she could clearly make out the lines of her husband in the dark, leaning over the back of the couch. She came up beside him. Touching his shoulder and kissing his cheek. He gave a small hum but didn't turn or move. Following his gave she saw Kakashi curled up on their couch. He was sweating and breathing raggedly, his face pale even in the dark, body twitching with small grunts of pain. As if he was jerking away from some invisible touch. Reaching down she touched his forehead but quickly recoiled.
"He's freezing."
She gasped quietly and rushed to the closet to get another blanket. After pulling another over his shivering form she came back to her husband. Linking their arms she whispered—
"Let's go to bed, it's been a long day."

"You go. I can't think of taking my eyes off him."

"The doctors say you need your rest. You are still hurt."
She touched a hand to the wound that hid under his shirt.

"He was talking about death. He wanted to—"
He dropped his face into his hands.
"I really think he was going to-"

"I'll watch him then, you sleep."

"No, you need it."

"You need it more."
She kissed his cheek again.
"Go. I'll stay with him."
Knowing his wife well he knew there was no winning this argument with her. So he reluctantly nodded and went to the bedroom while she got comfortable keeping her eyes on their child.