I Bleed Stars (Book 1)

Chapter 8

                            Roxanne's (P.O.V)

I looked at my naked figure in the mirror and started crying. I knew the person that was looking back at me wasn't going to be the same person in a few months when the cancer got worse.

I brought my hand up to my head and gently ran it through my dark hair. It took so long to grow it back, and the thought of it falling out again crushed me.

I had no idea what therapy I was going to do. Radiation was out of the question, because Dr. William said that's what brought it back. I also wasn't sure if I even wanted treatment at all. This is my second time getting cancer, so I knew curing me was going to be harder.

The question was is it worth it to spend all the money, and go through all the pain just to find out that therapy didn't work? Was it worth getting my hopes up again? I didn't think it was, but what do I know?

"Roxanne are you okay?" My mom's voice traveled up the stairs.

"Yeah, just about to get in the shower," I replied.

I wiped my eyes dry and was about to get in the shower when my phone buzzed signaling that I got a notification. I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. I saw that I got a message from Cody.

Cody: Hey

I debated on whether to answer back. I haven't been replying to people's messages. I haven't even been outside all day. All because I couldn't stop crying. After a few seconds of going back and forth in my head I finally answered the text.

Me: Hey, what's up?

Cody: You didn't come to IHop for our regular breakfast meet up. We missed you today. Sandy saved you some of your favorite pancakes. She'll bring them over later.

I couldn't help, but smile. I loved my friends. I couldn't ask for better friends than the ones I had.

Me: I missed you guys too. Tell Sandy I said thank you.

Cody: Okay, I will.

There was a moment where neither of us said anything then I saw that he was typing.

Cody: Are you okay? How did the doctor's visit go?

I stared long and hard at his text. I was so busy crying I didn't even get the chance to figure out what I was going to tell people.

Me: Yeah, I'm fine.

Cody: Did you find out what was wrong?

Me: No, they need to do more tests.

Cody: That's not good :(

Me: Yeah

I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. I saw how them finding out I was sick had affected them and their families when I was younger. I couldn't bear to see it again.

Cody: I gtg but we'll talk more later.

Me: Ok bye

Cody: See ya

Once I stopped texting I put my phone back down and hopped in the shower.

The water felt cold on my back. As I washed myself I thought about what my mom told me on the way back home from the hospital. She said I needed to start treatment as soon as possible. She also said that I needed to stop smoking, which I had no idea how I was going to do since I was addicted, and then I thought about what I was going to tell everyone.

I decided to say nothing. I wasn't going to tell people anything about my illness.

Once I was done taking a shower, I got out and dried myself off.  I put some scented lotion on then wrapped the towel around me.