I Bleed Stars (Book 1)

Chapter 39

Sunny's (P.O.V)

I woke up to someone blowing up my phone. It felt weird not waking up next to Roxanne after sleeping by her side for more than a month.

Yesterday after we left my dad's place I had Roxanne drop me off at my old apartment. I told her I need a few days alone to recover from my dad kicking us out of his house.

Roxanne was a bit worried about the separation and she asked if we were going to break up and I told her no but I really needed the space right now.

When I finally decided to sit up in bed I grabbed my phone from the night stand and saw bunch of messages from my mom.

Mom: Your father called me last night

Mom: How could you do this to the family?

Mom: How could you just abandon God and your faith like that?

Mom: You're never allowed to speak to Alison again. We don't need you corrupting her.

Mom: I don't want you calling this number again until you come to your senses.

After reading the text I just layed in bed crying until Liz came in the room.

"Hey, you've been laying in bed all day are you okay?" I could see the worry on her face.

"I'll find somewhere else to go." I said looking at her.

"Don't be ridiculous. This place was once your home too. You're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"I just need a couple days to figure some things out then I'll be out of your way."

"How about this? You can stay if you eat something."

I gave her a small smile. "Okay, Liz, what do you have for me."

"I'll be back." She said, before leaving the room.

It was a few minutes before Liz came back with a plate of pancakes and eggs.

I scarfed down the food because I didn't eat dinner last night and I was starving.

When I was done eating I went to take a shower.

'I just lost my family.' I thought as I felt the water from the shower hit my skin.

I've heard horror stories about people coming out. I never thought my story would be added to that list.

I loved Roxanne but I didn't know being with her was going to cause my family to abandon me. Why couldn't everyone be like Kyle? He was so understanding and made me feel safe enough to tell him I was at least bisexual and I thought I had the courage to do the same with my parents but I guess not. I wanted to call Kyle and talk to him about all of this, but I knew I couldn't because even though my relationship with Kyle ended on good terms Kyle said as much as he loved me we still couldn't be friends. We parted ways agreeing to be strangers again. So I had no one I could talk to about all of this.

I wanted to go back in the closet no, I needed to go back in the closet.

I didn't realize my mind was on autopilot and I had zoned out until I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Sunny are you okay? You've been in there a while." I heard Liz's voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, trying to snap out of it.

I got out of the shower and I was able to get ready for the day but I was still on autopilot.

***

I sat in the parking lot of Beyond Fellowship trying to get myself to go in. After what mom said about abandoning God I felt so guilty being here.

There was a church close to Roxanne's place that I had gone to when I lived with her. It was different from this church but I still liked it because they were rooted in their beliefs and didn't let their beliefs control them.

I haven't been to Fellowship in a while. I never made friends here or talked to anyone really, so no one would notice that I wasn't present at this particular church for more than a month.

After going back and forth with myself on whether I should go in or not I finally decided to get out of the car and go inside.

The church must've grown while I was absent because the congregation was a lot bigger than when I last came here.

I found a seat near my usual spot and kept to myself as people greeted each other.

After about ten minutes pastor Cooner came on stage and the service began.

"In today's sermon I want to talk about queer culture." Pastor Cooner said, flipping through his notes on the podium.

I readjusted my position in the chair.

"The population of gay people has grown. We need to help these people understand that what they claim to be is not what God wants."

I listened as he read the passage from Romans where Paul goes off about homosexuality.

The more I listened to the sermon and the congregation saying things like "yes" and "amen" to everything Pastor Cooner was saying about homosexuality the more sick to my stomach I felt.

"We need to help these people but we can't be their friends. We need to love them at a distance." Pastor Cooner said as he finished his sermon.

As soon as we were done with closing prayer I ran out of the church and made it out front just in time to puke in the lawn.

Everyone stopped to stare at the girl who couldn't handle being told who she was was a disgrace.