Song of Shadow and Light (BxB)

Chapter 9

They were on the road again early in the morning. The villagers wished them safe travels and asked them to visit again when their quest was over. Sadly, Kaelan agreed to their request, but he knew that he was lying to them. He wanted to give the people hope that they would see him again, even if that wouldn't be possible. As long as he could make the people smile, then his sacrifice would be worth it in the end. 

Kaelan was still exhausted, which didn't bode well for their journey ahead. He couldn't afford to make a mistake, and he blamed Thaddeus for how tired he was. Kaelan struggled to sleep after the warrior left him alone in his room. Whenever Kaelan thought that he would get some rest, his thoughts shifted to the things that Thaddeus did to him. He hated that he wanted to experience more. Azai warned him to stay away from Thaddeus, and Kaelan already broke his word. Next time, he would tell Thaddeus to go away.

He knew that the only reason he let things get that far was because his loneliness was getting to him. Kaelan was destined to die alone, which scared him. He never experienced a relationship before even though he wanted to at least once in his life. While Azai had always taught him not to fall in love with someone, that didn't mean that Kaelan didn't have desires. He tried to convince himself that he didn't need anyone. He had to set his eyes on the goal ahead. That was the only thing that mattered, and that was the lesson ingrained in him ever since he was a child. He could not falter now after having a moment of weakness while he was alone with Thaddeus.

Thaddeus glanced back at him, noticing that Kaelan had fallen behind a little bit. He stopped and waited for Kaelan to catch up to him. With a worried expression, he asked, "Is everything okay? If you need to, we can always rest another day and set out for the portal tomorrow. It won't be going anywhere."

Kaelan refused to look up at him. He was still annoyed with Thaddeus after his actions last night. He shook his head and said, "The longer we wait, the more demons will exit their realm and come into ours. It is better for us to stop them now before they wreck more havoc."

"I understand that, but you need to look after your health as well. In a weakened state, you won't fare well against those monsters," Thaddeus commented.

"And who's fault is that?" Kaelan shot back. "While you had a peaceful night's sleep, I was stuck thinking about you, you jerk. It's not fair that you're okay and I'm not."

Thaddeus was a bit taken aback by Kaelan's outburst. The cleric had every right to be mad at him. He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Damn, if I would have known that me teasing you would have made you this crabby, then I would have just slept with you."

"You should have!" Kaelan stopped, realizing what he had just said. He blushed and crossed his arms, looking down at the ground. "No, I mean, that's never going to happen. What happened between us last night, forget about it. I shouldn't have let you touch me like that. From now on, we only work together and nothing else. Once this quest is over, then we'll go our separate ways."

"Kaelan . . ." Thaddeus reached out to take Kaelan's hand, but the cleric would not let him. Knowing that he was being rejected again, Thaddeus let out a sigh. "If this is what you wish, then I will not argue with you. I will continue to just be the warrior who protects you."

This was how things were supposed to be. No matter how lonely Kaelan felt, he would not allow that weakness to take over again. Instead of dwelling on it for a moment longer, it was time for them to get back to business.

Kaelan pointed to their location which wasn't much farther ahead of them. From where they were standing, they could spot the portal. It was a large, black hole that was as tall as the sky. Every now and then, they could get a glimpse of the realm on the other side. If they were lucky, then the portal should take them to the object that they needed to destroy. Since it was a plague realm, Kaelan hoped that they wouldn't be stuck in there for long. Thaddeus was more susceptible to catching sickness than him, but it was still a risk that they were both taking.

"That's where we need to go. The closer that we get, the more demons that we will need to face. Since this is a plague realm, stay close to me. I will keep a protection spell up while we're in there. Once we find what we're looking for, I'll have to drop the spell to charge all my energy into destroying the demonic object that keeps the portal open. Since you've never been inside of a portal before, I should warn you. Once I destroy the object, the realm will collapse, and we'll need to escape as quickly as possible." Kaelan needed Thaddeus to be prepared before they entered. He wished that his warrior had a little more experience with demonic realms.

Thaddeus nodded, but didn't say anything. He turned to make his way to the portal. Kaelan sighed, then followed him. The cleric felt as though he didn't have any right to be upset with Thaddeus. After allowing him in last night, he was rejecting him once again. He wished that last night never happened so that he didn't have to feel this way. He didn't have feelings for Thaddeus, but he still felt bad for his actions. He led him on last night knowing that Thaddeus likes him.

He took a deep breath, and said, "Thaddeus, I'm sorry."

He needed to at least apologize. It wouldn't change how hurt Thaddeus was, but he needed to say something. If they were going to travel with each other for a long time, then they needed to keep the peace between them.

"There's no need for you to apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you for pushing you too far, especially when I know that you don't have feelings for me. So, I'm sorry for taking advantage of you last night," Thaddeus said as he kept up his stride. His voice was stable and unwilling to betray how he must have been feeling. Thaddeus had always been this way. He always kept a straight face even if he was hurting on the inside.

"It's not taking advantage of me if I wanted it." Kaelan had desired someone's touch for a long time, but he still felt guilty for leading Thaddeus on. Since he didn't have feelings for Thaddeus, he shouldn't use him for his own selfish desires.

Thaddeus reached back and gently took Kaelan's hand. "You might have wanted it, but I'm not the one that you want. It'll be hard, but I'll try to be on my best behavior from now on. Come on, we have a portal to close."

That was the end of this discussion. Their minds were made up, and Kaelan could tell that Thaddeus was getting tired of this. His voice and expression may not have betrayed him, but Kaelan could feel a spike in Thaddeus' energy. He was hurt and holding onto Kaelan wasn't doing him any favors. Kaelan let go of his hand. He had to remind himself that they were only working together until Kaelan defeated the demon lord.

He had to focus on the task ahead and nothing else. Soon enough, they would be reaching the first portal and entering the plague realm.