What About Mineta?

20

TW: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, body dysmorphia, mentions of r@pe. Do NOT read if you are uncomfortable by any of these. it is slightly descriptive so please please again dont read this if you know you cant handle it. READ THE BOOK DESC FOR MORE INFO
(image is what jackson looks like! sorry if it throws off the image you already have of him lol)

Mineta hadn't cared that he just skipped out on the second half of the day. It was still Lunch, so most teachers were in their rooms eating. Because of that fact- he was fine with roaming up the almost endless flight of stairs, not worried that a teacher would catch him. His thoughts were moving so fast, they all mostly blurred into one. This life was a mistake. Everything he has ever done was a mistake. He made a mistake when he decided to survive through his birth, he made a mistake by not appreciating his sister as much, he made a mistake by not ending it sooner when his sister killed herself.  Mineta locked his eyes on the door to the rooftop. The only barrier he had from living, and dying. His hand almost brushed the door, before he stopped to think. Am I really just gonna let this be the end of my life? That's it? Just a teenager who went through some fucked-up shit and went the cowards way out? No pushing through? What if my future is good? Am I throwing my life away?

Yeah. Probably. 

He forced the door open with a push. He has felt this much emotion before, the first time he attempted. But, he had enough will to keep going. He actually reasoned with himself. All of that is out the window now. The only emotion he felt was not a natural one. He felt... empty. 

The walk to the edge of the roof felt so dreadfully long. He felt like he was walking in slow-motion. He felt like something had to fill up the space. What was it that they say people do? Oh yeah, they recount their life don't they? Lets see.. 

He remembered those first few days after his sister left for good, how the grief was taking over his very core. She was the only thing protecting him from his brother. Mineta grew up in a very toxic family, and his parents were absolute creeps. It seemed like his brother developed those traits. After his sister killed himself, he did the unthinkable. He had no one to save him, no light in the darkness. Luckily his father came in and kicked him out. His father knew it would cause to much trouble if it got reported in his house, as he would probably be arrested for child neglect and multiple other crimes involving drugs. He has no idea where his brother is now, and he doesn't want to know. He still feels dirty. Then he remembered how it felt to felt to just want to crawl out of his own skin because he hated being a girl. He remembered those first days of transitioning and just not feeling good enough. He remembered the first time he realized he had a crush on a boy, back in middle school. He already was being bullied because of his transition, he didn't want to tell anyone he was gay on top of that.

The tears that were spilling before finally stopped, leaving behind puffy, red eyes. The only thing that remains is dried tears on his cheeks. He didn't bother leaving behind anything, well, besides himself. He didn't have any paper to write anything, and even if he did- what would he say?

" Sorry, my life was just a little too traumatic for me and you guys are kinda mean sometimes. "

"Yeah... I was lying to you guys the entire time as a cry for help, guess it didn't work."

"Sorry about the blood, but, you guys won't miss me anyway."

Eh, all options sound lame. He didn't have any presents or memorabilia either. It's not like he could go back downstairs and give it to them. Whatever.