LAST CUBA LIBRE

LEO

I leave home at 19.55, cross Piazza Cavour and enter the trendy, vaguely 'lounge' Miami, where happy hour is in full swing – guys and gals perching on stools are sipping drinks and chatting on their cell phones. I immediately sight Max and Claudio at a table, I wave at them and order a Long Island. The barman mixes the ingredients and I fill a paper plate with canapés, salty snacks, crisps and other nibbles that will replace my dinner, while the DJ mixes tracks from the Buddha Bar compilation.

I pull out my wallet, pay for the drink and head for my friends staring at a snobby-looking blonde in a suit, talking on her Motorola V547.

Who are you looking at? asks Claudio, who is drinking Gin Tonic. "The blonde?"

I nod and sip at my drink.

I slot a salmon canapé into my mouth and shrug.

"Good looking chick," I say.

"But have you seen how natty she is?" says Max, who has a Cuba Libre in front of him. "I prefer my girls more toned down."
"Are you joking?" says Claudio. "Nothing like getting one over on a girl like that."

"What about this date?" I ask Max, looking at the blonde again. She's still talking into her cell phone with an exaggeratedly serious and concentrated look – she's probably trying to contact the PR who can get a free ticket to the club.

"It's at half eight," says Max. In there.

"Great. Where did you find them?"

"Friends of Tony's girl. They're enrolled at the ballet school."

"Well," says Claudio. "If they go to dance school, that means that they're good at opening their legs."

"No doubt!" sniggers Max, then he passes his hand over his gelled hair.

"Listen to this," says Claudio. "An Islamic terrorist on the streets of Baghdad: 'Long live menstruation! Long live menstruation!' Another terrorist stops him and says, 'Don't you mean revolution?' and he says, 'It's all the same, as long as the blood flows...'"

Nobody laughs. I ask, "Is Tony's girl here?"

"No idea," says Max.

I haven't seen her for ages.

"She's got a really fat arse, now, "says Claudio. "Tony would do well to get rid of her."

"Oh come on," says Max.

"There's nothing for it, she's put on weight."

"Tony could do better," I say.

"So what?" says Max. "He's fond of her."

"Right," says Claudio. "He's fond of her. He's not in love."

"What do you know?" says Max. "For example, I never realised I was in love with a girl I was going out with. Or rather, I always realised after, when the story had finished."

"Me too," I say.

"Oh come on," says Claudio. "Tony has had all the best-looking chicks in town. He's not the sort to settle down."

"What do you mean all? asks Max.

"All."

"Huh."

"Tell you what," says Claudio. "Give me the name of a really cool chick. Come on."

"Let me think... Eleonora T."

"He's had her."

"Maddelena N:"

"He's had her."

This one I'm certain... Giulia Z.

"He's had her."

"And how do you know?"

"I know."

"What does that mean?"

"I saw the video clip."

"The video clip?"

"Sure."

"OK," Max raises his hands. "I'm convinced."