When I was Your Man (Larry Stylinson)

Prologue

Prologue:

                In life, you don't get second chances. You have one life, and it is up to you to live it the way you want to. Whether you want to raise a family, or become a celebrity, everyone has a plan. But sometimes, life throws you a twist and your entire plan seems like a distant memory. You might think everything is going to follow a path, but maybe your life is a bumpy trail when you planned for a paved road.

               I'm not the kind of guy who tends to waste too much time thinking about things like this, but when you're stuck driving home alone you have a bit of time to yourself. I'm the kind of boy who never wants to grow up. I want to stay young forever. Growing up scares me a bit. Responsibilities, bills, working, but most importantly, expectations.

               When you're an adult, people expect things from you. They expect you to behave in a certain way and they expect you to say things a certain way. You have to dress like this and act like that and always remember to tuck your shirt in. The worst part of expectations, though, is the risk of disappointment.

                No matter what you're expected to do, there is always that risk of failure. You can aim for the stars but only make it to the moon. You could spend hours upon hours working and letting your family think you're amazing, only for it to all crash around you. You could ride the waves of life but come crashing down.

                I always had a fear of being a disappointment, which is why I used humour to hide it. If everyone thought I was just 'the funny one', they didn't have expectations of me. If I spilled my drink, I could play it off as a joke and things would be fine. If I fell, I'd just roll around and make noises.

                This may seem perfect, but when no one expects anything of you it is worse than when they expect everything of you. No one encourages you. No one says "Aim high." They expect me to be just this funny guy, but I have goals and I have dreams and I wanted someone to push me.

               I wanted one person to not give up on me. When I was trying to learn to ride a bicycle, I fell. I started laughing, but I remember my dad just laughing along with me. He went inside, and soon the laughter turned to tears. I wanted him to push me. I wanted him to tell me to get on that bike and try again. I didn't want him to just expect me to fail.

               My name is Louis "The Tommo" Tomlinson and this is who I am. I'm your average teenager boy. I grew up in a small neighborhood in Doncaster with my four sisters and parents. We were all a bit eccentric, and we all loved attention. I suppose that is where I get my love for theatre and my desire for some sort of attention that wasn't humorous.

              My singing career was supposed to make me be more serious. I trained hard every week, even recording videos and posting them on the Youtube. I worked hard and I always spent extra time at school. My friends all thought it was some dumb dream, but it wasn't. I wanted nothing more than to be a professional singer.

                  Trying out for the X-Factor was supposed to be the starting point in my career. I had expected to win. I had expected to become a famous singer, maybe the next pop sensation. I wanted to be bigger than Justin Timberlake. Looking back, even just a month back, I realized how foolish I had been. My voice wasn't as good as the other competitors and I lacked any official vocal training. The judges had let me through the first audition with ease, but after that I struggled.

              I couldn't hit any of the right notes, and I could barely sing an entire song without having to pause. I was told my breathing was incorrect, and I realized that this was serious. I would have to learn correct posture and form. I had to learn all the tricks and I had to learn all the official ways to make my voice be the best it possibly could. I would have to push my voice past limits I never thought I could. I couldn't give up on myself.