Not So Broken (West Coast College Book 3)

Chapter 22

Cameron

"I'm broken. So fucking broken. I hate living in my own head. It's too much. Too overwhelming." She sobs, her wheezes and whimpers muffled by my hoodie.

I think my heart just collapsed.

Catching her chin with my hand, I tilt it up towards me, waiting patiently till she meets my eyes. She sniffles, the sound caving my chest.

Her eyes meet mine and my hand starts trembling. The quiver of her chin, the frown resting on her lips, the way her face is so full of anguish and hopelessness. It's all reflected in her eyes. Blue and green.

They're so full of life, so full of emotions that I have to look away. My eyes drop down to her lips, like there's some sort of pull forcing me to just stare endlessly.

My jaw tenses, ticking. She smiles gently, staring at my cheeks, looking for something that isn't there at the moment.

"I think I want to kiss you." I say, voice raspy and deeper than normal.

I really thought I could ignore it. And I was going to.

But feelings aren't patient. They aren't something that likes to be ignored. They demand attention and in my case, they demand me to kiss Ava.

Want isn't something you can neglect.

Want always interrupts just simply being.

"Can I kiss you, sunshine?"

Ava's eyes blow wide, tears suddenly dry. "You-you want to kiss me?"

I chuckle at how perplexed she looks, dragging her as close to me as I can. She swallows, smiling. "Hell fucking yeah. With that kind of smile, it would be cruel not to kiss it, don't you think? "

Lust fills her eyes, teeth gnawing at her lip. "Good. 'Cuz I think I want you to kiss me as well. So kiss me, Cameron."

That's all I need before I trap her lips with mine, grinning when she gasps, melting into me.

God, her lips. So fucking soft and fuck, she's responsive. Every kiss, every nip at her lower lip she's sighing happily, whimpering like she never wants this to end.

You and me both, sunshine.

"You set the pace." I pull back so our lips are just faintly touching, my hands gripping her hips firmly. "You have full control here. You want to stop? We stop, no questions asked. You want to continue? Then we'll continue."

Our noses brush together when she nods. "Can we just...kiss?"

A sly smile sets on my face but I dip my head to the crook of her neck so she can't see. "Of fucking course."

My hands slide down her back, slowly lowering her down on the couch. My elbows bracket either side of her head, fingers digging into her hair.

I smile when she rises up to meet me, her confidence growing slowly. In response, I trail kisses across her jaw and spend extra attention on the scar that slashes the length of her cheek.

"How'd you get this scar, sunshine?" She has so many scars but there are only so many I can actually see.

She frowns, meeting my eyes. "The accident."

I figured so but her even answering means she feels comfortable enough with me to talk about it.

I just nod, kissing the scar even more tenderly than before.

Her hands find my hair and I draw in a breath, savouring every single second of how good she feels, good she tastes.

Ava breaks our kiss suddenly, cheeks flushed with pink and slightly breathless. "Wait."

"Are you okay?" Did I go too far?

"I am more than okay." She gives me a shy smile. "But I...I'm not ready to continue."

"That's okay. Thank you for telling me, baby." I give her another gentle kiss and she blushes. Hard.

I start to sit up but she grabs at my shoulders, clawing. "Wait, wait. Could we just lay here for a few more minutes? Just-"

Turning the both of us, I shift so she's laying on my chest, head resting on my shoulder.

"There." I rub her back. "That good?"

She yawns despite just rolling out of bed, snuggling closer in against me.

Ava radiates sunshine and warmth, the scents of her shampoo and perfume creating something delicious enough that I want to bury my face in her hair all day and ignore everything else.

I've never considered myself a touchy-feely person, let alone someone who fucking cuddles.

Growing up in the system, the only thing you cuddled was what you had left of your favourite teddy bear that was barely hanging on by a thread.

But with Ava, I'm more than happy to try and be that person if it means she'll stay exactly where she is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven't seen Ava in three fucking days.

Separation anxiety already? Can't be.

She's been busy helping with the new hires at Maeve's diner, on top of everything else she already does.

She leaves at an ungodly hour and doesn't get home till after midnight.

I tried waiting up the second night but as soon as I got home from our game against Calgary-which we won, by the way- I crashed despite all the alarms I had set just in case I did doze off.

So, what do I do?

I stop at Maeve's coffee shop and grab Ava an iced chai latte (her favourite) along with one of those fancy ass sandwiches she loves and head to Novelty Nook.

"Hey, Cooper. Ava here somewhere?"

Cooper sits behind the register, a pile of books in front of him as he stamps them with more force than necessary. Noah would like him.

"Cam." He nods, jutting his chin towards the second floor. "Upstairs. Doesn't have her ears in so don't startle her, boy."

I frown. "Was she in pain?"

Cooper grunts. "What do you think? But does she tell anyone? No. That girl is still as stubborn as the day I met her."

Snorting, I make my way up the stairs, searching for a few minutes before I hear her humming behind one of the wooden shelves by the hidden coffee cart.

She's sitting on the floor, back to the wall she leans against. A book sits gently in her lap, her shoulders moving slightly as she continues to hum.

I crouch down beside her, placing my hand on her knee. "Ava. I brought food."

She gasps, reaching for the latte. "Oh my god. Thank you, thank you! Can you believe it? Cooper let me come upstairs and read. He's literally paying me to read!"

Laughing, I take a seat next to her. "Is that something you want to do after college? Review books?"

She takes a sip, marking her page. "No. I want to open my own rink for challenged kids. Everyone will be welcome but mainly I want to focus on kids who feel like they're drowning in their disability because people have defined them as only that. Disabled. So I'm gonna open a rink who welcomes everyone so I can help them become everything they want and more."

I blink, absolutely speechless. "That's...that's amazing, Ava. Can't wait to see it."

She blushes, ducking her head to take a bite of her sandwich. "Thank you."

Ava eats for a few more minutes, downing the much needed snacks. I smile when she does a little dance as she chews.

"I was wondering if you could come tomorrow with me to meet Quinn's parents? His mom is really excited about you."

Ava perks up, pink lips tugging upwards. "I'd love to. Should we bring flowers?"

"Of course. But they have to be pink."

"Pink. Duh. Who do you think I am? Boring? Bleh."

I laugh, squeezing her fingers. "You're anything but boring, sunshine."