Not So Broken (West Coast College Book 3)

Chapter 40

Ava

"You okay?" Allie signs, eyes darting all over my face. She looks incredibly tired and it's one hundred percent my fault.

I've been in bed for four days straight. Allie has glued herself to my side, comforting me and trying to make me laugh and smile.

We've been binge watching every TV show known to man and when Allie is at practice, Noah will awkwardly stick his head in and ask how I'm doing.

I nod, stretching my arms over my head with a smile. "I feel a lot better. Thank you for everything you've done these past few days."

Allie has been amazing. Even when I grumbled and aggressively signed at her, Allie has forced me to go to work and training, something at the time I didn't want to do but am so thankful she pushed me to.

It's almost ten o'clock at night and when Allie starts fluffing the pillow, I know she's planning to stay another night with me. "Allie, you don't have to stay the night. I'm really okay. I just needed to cry for a few days."

Allie frowns, shaking her head as she signs back. "No, that's okay. You have nightmares and-"

"So do you." I point out, shoving her shoulder and nodding towards the door. "I'm really fine, Allie. I bet Noah misses you since I've been hogging you so much. Go! Shoo! I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Allie looks hesitant but does as I say, standing and grabbing her pillow. "Need anything?" She raises a knowing brow. "Or anyone else?"

My eyes drop to my phone, the one Cameron has been blowing up the past four days. He asks how I'm doing, if I have everything I need. He sends good morning and goodnight texts, like he's memorized my sleep schedule.

He's also been sending gifts. The first day half of my Amazon TBR showed up at the front door, the rest coming a couple days later. He's sent my favourite types of tea and flowers, always with a small handwritten notes.

I've seen him a couple of times during practice and he always respects my space, giving me small smiles and waves from his end of the rink and watching carefully like every other guy on the team when Brayden steps on the ice.

He just started skating again with me and Tatum's encouragement but we never push him. If he says he wants to stop, then we stop and walk a lap around the building or go outside for fresh air. He tells me it's hard not seeing Tyler on the other end of the ice, clapping and smiling for every skill he does.

Mike texted me yesterday that Cameron hasn't had even a sip of alcohol since I left and he actually dumped everything down the sink the first day and has been sober ever since. That meant a lot to me.

"Do you think," I swallow, my hands freezing in the air, "Do you think I should text him? That if I do, will it seem like I've already forgiven him? That I'm being...needy?"

"You could never be needy, Ava. If you need him to come here, then tell him that. That doesn't mean you've forgiven him, it just means you need the person you love to comfort you. To hold you. And that's totally okay." She tells me, patting my clasped hands before leaving.

Swallowing again, I take a deep breath and exhale nervously. With trembling fingers, I manage to text him. His response chimes ten seconds later.

Of course. I'm on my way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cameron

I'm pretty sure I broke about ten speeding violations on my way over but when Ava texted and asked me to come over, I had no choice but to run three red lights.

Noah answers the door, his face in its permanent scowl. "What?"

He has over three inches on me so it's not like I can barrel through the door despite how much I want to. I frown, shoulders sagging. "Ava texted. She asked me to come over. Let me see her, man."

"I highly doubt that with all the crying she's done. I haven't seen my girlfriend in four fucking days because of you." My captain shakes his head, disappointment on his face. "Why didn't you just talk to her, Wyatt? And it's quite obvious she blames herself for it."

"Because I'm a royal dumbass. Can I please see her?" I practically beg. He raises an eyebrow, glancing behind him when Allie ducks under his arm, smiling wildly at me.

"She did text him, Noah. It's fine." She grabs my arm, pointing to which room Ava is staying in. "Remember everything we've worked on?"

I nod sharply. "Yep. Thank you for letting her stay here."

Allie waves her hand through the air, brushing me off. "Of course. Just listen to her, okay?"

"Of course," I echo back. Her door is open slightly so I reach in and flick the lights on and off until I hear her knock against the wall, hoping that means I can enter.

A harsh whisper leaves my lips when I see her tear stained face and the bags that have only seemed to grow under her eyes. "Sunshine."

Mike gave the vaguest rundown of her audiologist appointment the other day and I push down the crushing guilt that gnaws inside me as I raise my shaky hands, hoping I don't mess this up even more than I already have.

"Hi, Sunshine." I pause for a moment to remember what Allie has taught me over the past eight months, "What did you need, Baby?"

Ava blinks at me for long moments. Her hand raises to cover her mouth in pure shock and more tears spill. Her shoulders shake. "How? When? I don't understand."

"Allie and Noah taught me. I wanted to learn because of you, Sunshine. So I did. Because of the pain your hearing aids were causing you." I sign, stepping closer to her. "Are you okay? What did you need?"

Ava shakes her head, sniffling. "I-I need you. Just you."

I'm already moving towards her, lifting under her legs and placing my hand to cup the back of her head, holding her as close to me as I can.

Shifting as gently as humanly possible while still cradling her to me, I slowly lay on my back, making sure her head is comfortably situated on my chest before I pull the blankets over her body.

"This doesn't mean we're okay," She signs and I can tell she's ready to doze off. "But I really needed you, you know?"

I kiss her hair, running my fingers through the thick strands as I do my best to sign and talk at the same time in case I mess up. "I know. And I'll spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness."

She offers a sleepy smile and it makes my heart explode. It's been many painful days without seeing it. Her blue eye opens, peeking up at me. "Can you keep talking?"

Ah. Right. We'd normally play a TV show to help her fall asleep so the vibrations of my chest when I talk must be the second best thing. So I do.

I talk about how absolutely sorry I am, even though she can't hear me.

I tell her how much I love her and how stupid I was to only say it once.

I tell her how lonely it is without her at home, how I miss her laugh and smile.

That I'll continue to do everything I can to gain her trust back in me.

It takes longer than I expected but her breathing finally evens out, her body completely lax in mine. I stay awake as long as I can, soaking in the feeling of just her.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll start trying to become who she deserves-not that anyone deserves her anyway but I'll try my damn hardest to be what she needs.

And as much as I hate it, I fall asleep quickly after her.