Cocktails And Regrets (One-off Series #5)

Cocktails 9

NAGISING ako when I felt someone hugged me from the back, my heart races. I'm excited and scared at the same time to look at that person.

I'm not drunk, he was the one who was drunk. I can recall every detail we did. Shit. I repeated the history again, this time I'm sober and it's all vivid for me.

Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa katabi ko and our eyes met that pierce in my heart, he looks stoic, expressionless. Yet, he looks so undeniably handsome.

He can be pretty or handsome.

I shook my head. We're both naked under the sheet and this is so wrong. Ghad gracious, I don't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry--" my voice cracked and my tears built up. I cried. It feels like I'm a whore, easy to give in to his touch that's why the mistake happened again. He just stared coldly at me and stood up without saying a word, nagbihis siya at lumabas ng room.

Mag-isa na lang ako sa higaan and I still don't have any idea what to do, he should talk to me or even shout to my face what he feels. I guess he's fuming mad.

Umiyak ako ng umiyak until I'm drenched with my own tears.

I felt my stomach tighten at nasusuka ako, fuck morning sickness. Tumakbo ako sa banyo kahit nakatapis lang ng kumot yung katawan ko, I vomit habang umiiyak.

Ilang beses akong sumuka and my head is spinning, todo-todo na yung pag-iyak ko and all I can think is to weep until I leave without nothing to shed on.

Baby, just hold on tight. Mommy just wanna cry.

I heard the door open pero hindi ko na magawang maaninag ang mukha nung taong bumukas nun, my tears are pooling and my breath is hitching. Nagulat naman ako nang mapansin na may umagos na dugo sa tile floor. No no, not my baby.

Naramdaman kong umangat ako pero nasa tiyan pa rin ang atensyon ko, there's a blood gushing at ang sakit ng tiyan ko.

"M-my b-baby."

Then, everything went black.

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧

KUNG ganito lang palagi ang umaga ko, seeing her sleeping beside me and being able to stare at her face for long. Life will be worthwhile.

Nakatitig lang ako sa kaniya at hindi ako magsasawang tumingin sa kabuuan ng mukha niya. One thing I realized is that it's always been her I am longing about, her presence connects concurrently with my soul.

I caressed her face and gently kissed her forehead. She moved at akala ko'y magigising na siya pero nag-iba lang siya ng posisyon at ngayon ay nakatalikod na siya sa akin. I don't want to miss the chance to hug her, that's why I clasp her behind. Her warmth makes me alive.

She's already with Arrhenius. A nonsense thing popped in my mind.

My heart aches thinking about that scumbag, I will snatch her away from him. He doesn't deserve her, Lowry deserves me.

Napaigting ang panga ko nang maisip that I will turn myself into a villain, if that's how love will get me then so be it.

Napansin kong gumalaw siya hudyat na gising na siya, I waited for her to turn towards me. I want her to see me first thing in the morning. Yet, I should shrug this feeling I discerned for her.

Hindi 'to maaari, she's not into me.

As she looked at me, I stared at her blankly giving her an expressionless face for her not to read my emotion. Natatakot akong mabasa niya through my eyes what I am feeling at this moment.

Napalitan yung saya sa mata niya ng lungkot that made me startled but I stopped myself from overreacting. The next thing she did shook me.

"I'm so sorry--" she paused as her voice cracked. Ghad, why is she crying did she regret everything? Gusto ko siyang yakapin at patahanin but I'm scared of kung ano yung maaari niyang sabihin.

She continues sobing and I want to kiss her but I refuse to, instead ay tumayo ako't nagbihis. I should get lunch for us to eat, baka gutom na siya. Dali-dali akong lumabas para kumuha ng pagkain, hindi na ako nag-abala pang tumawag sa intercom kasi I know that it will take a while for my order to be served.

Nang makarating ako sa buffet ay kumuha ako ng mga healthy na pagkain and even a glass of milk for her. After that ay agad na akong bumalik sa room namin but as I entered the room, she was nowhere to find na nagpa-alarma sa akin. I heard a sob coming from the bathroom kaya dali-dali akong tumungo roon and found her facing the toilet while crying and vomiting.

My whole system is startled ng makita kong may umagos na dugo galing sa mga binti niya. I rushed towards her and immediately carried her, fuck.

"M-my b-baby." I heard her whispered and then she lost consciousness.

HINDI ko alintana kong paano ako kabilis nakarating sa pinakamalapit na hospital, I drove as fast as I could. All I can care about is her health. Is she pregnant? God. I hope she won't lose the baby.

"Hello, are you the husband of the patient?" The doctor asked me. Hindi ko alam ano ang sasabihin, I'm surprised.

"Well, the patient is sleeping right now and any hour from now she will wake up. We did our best---"

"How's the baby? How's my wife's condition?" Fuck, I hope lies will do come true.

"They are both okay. It's almost a miscarriage, sir. I'm your wife's OB and may monthly check up siya dito," she trailed off.

Shit, what if she'll realize that I'm lying. Paano kaya't sumasama pala si Arrhenius sa monthly check up niya. I'm doomed.

"It's my first time seeing you na sinamahan mo siya as she always shows up with a friend or all by herself. Anyways, your baby is healthy while your wife, she experienced distress that's why it happened. If you love your family you should take care of them." Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni doktora at para akong natamaan sa sinabi niya, why am I feeling guilty all of the sudden?

She left making me reflect sa kasalanang hindi ko naman ginawa. I will punch the face of that douche bag if I see him, he lets Lowry face her pregnancy alone. What a wuss he is, tangina.

I saw Brina, Lowry's friend na dumating kaya napag-isipan kong lumabas muna to buy healthy food para kay Lowry after she wakes up.

Papasok pa lang ako sa kotse ko nang mahagip ko ng tingin ang lalaking gustong-gusto kong suntukin. Shit, fate let us meet.

"Fuck you," at agad ko siyang sinunggaban ng suntok. It's not just once, I punch him thrice.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Hawak-hawak ang kaniyang panga at gulat na gulat na nakatingin sa akin.

"M-man, fuck you punched me hard. It's you, Dence!"

Aambahan ko sana siya ng suntok nung may lumapit sa aming security guard.

"You have no balls, you let your wife suffer from the recklessness you did." I scoffed habang hawak-hawak pa rin siya sa kuwelyo.

"I don't understand, kakagaling ko lang sa room ng asawa ko---"

"Tangina, why are you fooling around? I'm talking about Lowry, you left her hanging kahit buntis siya!" I don't want to make a scene, mabuti na lang talaga't walang masyadong tao sa paligid dahil nasa tagong parte kami ng parking lot.

"She's pregnant? Wait, you're thinking that I am the father? Fuck. Buntis yung girlfriend ko ngayon." Naguluhan ako sa sinabi niya.

"I'm not even her boyfriend. Goodness, I didn't even know na may boyfriend siya kasi ako lang naman yung hinahayaan niyang manligaw sa kaniya."

Aambahan ko sana ulit siya ng suntok, napaka-hambog.

"Chill, man. Wala akong naging chance sa kaniya, lahat ng mga lalaking nanliligaw sa kaniya ay pinapatigil niya because she always reasoned that she's busy working at wala na siyang time para diyan. And now she's pregnant? I don't have any idea who the father is. Ugh, pupuntahan ko pa yung asawa ko pero pinuruhan mo ako."

Binitawan ko siya and I felt my body shiver, I'm perplexed. Connecting the puzzled pieces altogether. If she never had a boyfriend, there's only one possible answer.