Truce ~ Juke

Part 4 - Panic Attack

A/N: Ok I don't know how I feel about this chapter but meh- Thank you betareader, Cardanrose! Also warning this will have a panic attack, incase the title wasn't a tip off-

Julie's P.O.V:

I ignore Bobby's words and I ignore Luke defending me. I don't want to focus on Bobby being a brat and I don't want to focus on Luke being nice outside of our truces. I choose to focus on the fact that I'm buzzing with the music they played and the adrenaline running through my veins.

I haven't been this excited about a song for almost a year. Even though I tried to avoid all things related to music I still heard a lot of it, on the radio, at school, out on the street, Luke practicing in the garage. Now this music is thrumming through me and I feel like I can do anything.

On the car ride home, after we pick up Carlos, I ignore his constant nonsense and I wonder if... maybe I could give music another chance. As soon as the thought forms in my head everything slows down. The buzzing and thrumming and the adrenaline stop, I freeze. Could I even give it another chance? I've tried, believe me, I have. But I give up. Every. Single. Time.

My knuckles turn pale as I hold my knees, burning bruises into my flesh. I try to clear my mind when I feel the tears grow, as Dr. Turner told me. I try to remember his breathing exercises but I can't get my breathing under control.

"Julie?" I flinch violently at Carlos's soft whisper. I hadn't even noticed when he had stopped talking to dad. I look up, a tear falls down on my hand and I realize I hadn't been successful in keeping the tears back. Dad's eyes are flashing from the road to my eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I- I'm fine." Though my croaky voice speaks for itself, I am not fine. Dad stops the car on the side and hops out and runs around to my side.

"Breathe, mija, breathe." His words are soothing but not enough. I don't get why everything is blurry, why my head is pounding. I don't get why Carlos is staring at me, his eyes flashing panic and worry. I don't get why dad has tears in his eyes as he holds me on the side of the road in a car.

I don't know why until I realize I'm having a panic attack.

I've only had a panic attack once before.

When my mum died.

I was in the garage after the funeral.

No one saw.

No one but Luke.

Luke's P.O.V:

"Shut up, Bobby." I snap, glaring at him. He was obviously trying to make Julie feel bad. She looked so happy just now and I thought that maybe she might be ready to try music again.

"What? Why are you defending her?" Bobby glares back at me and crosses his arms. I bet he thinks he looks intimidating but no one who wears those suspenders looks intimidating. "Do you suddenly like her now? Is that it?"

I feel my cheeks heat up but I ignore it. "Oh sorry, I was just trying to be a civil person!" I hiss, "For once in your life think about others, will you? It won't kill!" He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "You know what," I sigh, "I can't even look at you right now." I turn around and walk back to the stage to pack up my stuff, Alex and Reggie right behind me.

Reggie and Alex don't like being involved in the fights but it's obvious whose side they're on. Neither of them like Bobby, especially when he brings up their insecurities.

We get our instruments and Alex drives us to his house. His home is probably the only place we can hang out and relax since his parents are really chill and nice. (A/N: Ik that in the show they aren't ok with Alex being gay but I assume that it's because of the time they live in so they would be chill with it in this timeline)

I sit on the floor against the sofa, Reggie lays down on the one seater sofa and Alex plops down on the 3 seater sofa. I strum some chords from the song I was working on. Alex sits up and watches me intently as I play then he pulls out his drumsticks and starts hitting the coffee table in time with the melody. Then Reggie joins in, bringing the song together little by little.

"Why don't we just kick out Bobby?" Alex groans and throws his arms into the air. "This song is really good, Luke." He turns to me with a smile.

I smile, "Thanks, Alex." I slump against the sofa.

"We can't really kick him out, we practice in his garage." Reggie rolls his eyes, strumming mindlessly on his bass. "It really is a good song, Luke." I nod and give him a small smile. I start mindlessly tapping against my guitar, my nerves on full display.

My mind wanders over to Julie, my mind has a habit of doing that when I'm actively trying not to think about her. I wonder if she heard Bobby? I hope not, I hadn't seen her look that happy since before her mum had- passed...

I sigh and hit my head against the sofa I'm leaning against. I wonder what Julie's doing right now...

Julie's P.O.V:

I can't breathe.

All I see is black and white.

I hear faint whispers telling me to breathe.

I try to tell them I can't.

My nose won't listen to me.

I wonder which brain lobe is in charge of my nose.

I know I learnt that in psychology.

I can't remember.

My chest hurts.

Not as bad as my first panic attack.

Luke was there.

Luke calmed me down.

Luke would know what to do.

Luke would know how to make it stop hurting.

The pain just grows in my chest.

I wish the pain would stop.

I wish I remembered how to breathe.

I wish...

I wish...

I wish...

I wish Luke was here...

Everything goes black.

A/N: What did you think?

-Phoenix