Matapos ang shoot kanina ay agad akong pumunta sa malapit na bar. I have a hectic week but I can't get him out of my mind.
It's been years pero ito parin ako at apektado parin. Ni hindi manlang makahakbang palayo sa ala alang 'yon.
"I'm right that I could find you here Ross." Nabalik ako sa reyalidad ng marinig ko ang boses ni Jax.
Iniwas ko ang tingin sa baso para i-angat iyon sa kanya.
"Is it about that boy again?" He asked as if this problem of mine tired him out.
Sino ba namang hindi mapapagod kung sa loob ng ilang taon na nandito ako ay 'yon lang ang naririnig niya galing sa akin. Everytime I looked lost and problematic, that matter is always the reason behind it.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa inumin ko. Playing the glass with my finger.
" If you'll act this way all the time then why don't you take a break?" Tinanggap niya ang baso galing sa bartender at pinaglaruan ito bago ako muling tinignan.
" What do you mean?" I asked. Mabuti na iyong klaro at baka maling pangiha ang magawa ko. I shook my head, trying to get that silly thought out of my mind.
"Dude. You're not doing well these past few weeks. Just lie low from modeling for awhile and go home." Ininum niya ang kanyang inumin bago nagpatuloy. " Go and get your boy. "
Subrang madaling pakinggan pero ang hirap gawin. " You know it's not that easy Jax. I didn't come out yet."
Tinutukan ko siya sa mata, maybe that way he can absorb my words more. "I don't want to go knowing I couldn't give him assurance."
"Then come out of the closet, easy."
I shook my head and chuckle humorlessly.
In my 26 years of living, I only regret one thing. And that is when I choose to be a coward for the one I love.
In the past, as 17 years old who's living in a household who value traditions and norms--- I wasn't brave enough to accept the love of a 15 years old Vaughn Rei.
Even when it is the love of my life who confessed to me, I still choose to turn my back. Afraid of my own family.
The same day I broke his heart, he met an accident which fuel my decision to stay away. To fly across the world thinking that I'm not good for him.
"My grandparents are too traditional man. Coming out is like a suicide. Monroe are scary." Halos mangilabot ako.
"If your father is okay with it then your grandparents can't do anything about it."
Natigilan ako, it never even crossed my mind to come out on my parent "I don't think he'll be fine with it too."
"Paano mo malalaman kung hindi mo susubukan?"
His right. How would I know if I didn't even fucking tried. "I'll help you." He continued.
Sinabi niya sa akin ang lahat ng plano. He's ideas makes sense, it's a bit risky but at least I can do it. If it doesn't work out then it is what it is.
"Fuck I'll go with that." Nabuhayan ako. Mas mabuti na ang di sigurado kaysa sa wala akong gagawin ang magmukmok nalang dito. "I want to see him again."
After 9 years, I decided to come back. To find my way back to the love I lost. To correct my mistake.
I'm now more mature, more stronger, and brave enough to fight my love against my family. I'll come back taking the risk even though I'm not sure if someone is waiting for me.
"Sana lang talaga may uuwian pa ako"
I stared at the land as the the plane slowly descending to the ground.
"I'm on my way back to you Vaughn."
YOU ARE READING
Finding My Way Back To You (Complete)
Romance(BL) ROSS MONROE In his 26 years of living, he only regret one thing. And that is when he choose to be a coward for the one he love. In the past, as 17 years old who's living in a household who value traditions and norms he wasn't brave enough to ac...
