Matapos ang shoot kanina, agad akong pumunta sa malapit na bar. I’ve had a hectic week, but I still can’t get him out of my mind.
It’s been years, pero heto pa rin ako, apektado pa rin, ni hindi man lang makausad palayo sa alaala niyang iyon.
“I knew I’d find you here, Ross,” Jax’s voice pulled me back to reality. I tore my gaze away from the glass and lifted it to meet his.
“Is it about that boy again?” he asked, as though my problem was beginning to wear him out.
Sino ba namang hindi mapapagod kung sa loob ng ilang taon na nandito ako, iyon lang ang naririnig niya mula sa akin?
Every time I looked lost and problematic, that matter was always the reason behind it.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa inumin ko, pinaglalaruan ang baso gamit ang daliri ko.
“If you’ll act this way all the time, then why don’t you take a break?” Tinanggap niya ang baso mula sa bartender at pinaglaruan ito bago muling tumingin sa akin.
“ What do you mean?” I asked.
Mabuti na iyong klaro at baka maling pangiha ang magawa ko. I shook my head, trying to get that silly thought out of my mind.
“Dude, you’re not doing well these past few weeks. Just lie low from modeling for a while and go home,” ininum niya ang kanyang inumin bago nagpatuloy. “Go and get your boy.”
Subrang madaling pakinggan, pero ang hirap gawin. “You know it’s not that easy, Jax. I haven’t come out yet.'"
I stared into his eyes, hoping that way he could absorb my words better. “I don’t want to go knowing I couldn’t give him assurance.”
“Then come out of the closet, easy.”
I shook my head and chuckled humorlessly.
In my 26 years of living, I regret only one thing: choosing to be a coward when it came to the one I loved.
When I was 17, living in a household that valued traditions and norms, I wasn’t brave enough to accept the love of a 15-year-old Vaughn Rei.
Even when the love of my life confessed to me, I still chose to turn my back, afraid of my own family.
The same day I broke his heart, he had an accident, which fueled my decision to stay away—to fly across the world, believing I wasn’t good for him.
“My grandparents are too traditional man. Coming out is like a suicide. Monroes are scary.” Halos mangilabot ako.
“If your father is okay with it, then your grandparents can’t do anything about it.”
Natigilan ako, it never even crossed my mind to come out on my parent “I don’t think he’ll be fine with it too.”
“Paano mo malalaman kung hindi mo susubukan?”
His right. How would I know if I didn’t even fucking try?
“I’ll help you,” he continued.
Sinabi niya sa akin ang lahat ng plano. His ideas make sense; it’s a bit risky, but at least I can do it. If it doesn’t work out, then it is what it is.
“Fuck, I’ll go with that.” Nabuhayan ako.
Mas mabuti na ang 'di sigurado kaysa wala akong gagawin kundi magmukmok na lang dito.
“I want to see him again.”
After nine years, I decided to come back—to find my way back to the love I lost and correct my mistake.
I’m now more mature, stronger, and brave enough to fight for my love against my family.
I’m returning, taking the risk, even though I’m not sure if anyone is waiting for me.
“Sana lang talaga may uuwian pa ako.”
I stared at the land as the plane slowly descended toward the ground.
“I’m on my way back to you, Vaughn.”
YOU ARE READING
Finding My Way Back To You (Complete)
RomanceA Stand Alone BL Story Ross Monroe has spent the past nine years haunted by regret and the memory of the love he abandoned. At 17, fear of his family's judgment led him to turn his back on Vaughn Rei, the boy who confessed his love. But tragedy stru...
