Lustful Alchemy

20. CASSANDRA

I've spent the past few days organizing lessons and engaging in a flurry of correspondence with the most important figures in Alchemy, to prepare myself and Albus for the International Conference in Cairo. I haven't even been able to fully enjoy the Halloween celebrations, my favorite holiday of all. Together, we've started to develop an ambitious project to present during the event: combining the four elements and the key basic ingredients to actually create Energy. It seems contradictory, but my energy levels are practically depleted from the excessive amount of work I've put into the cause. Fortunately, after Albus requested assistance through the Wizengamot at the The Three Broomsticks, Sharp immediately stepped in to facilitate the boy's ascent, relieving me of a significant burden.

Ah, Sharp... We're both incredibly busy with our respective commitments, and now we never meet alone but only on occasions when we gather together with the students and other teachers, so either during classes or meals – definitely not the best times to test our undeniable mutual attraction. But when night falls and I lie in my bed, sleep struggles to come: I miss his hands, his kisses on my skin, the way he looked at me that October evening. I miss spending time together, and it's stupid to say considering it's been so little.

Sometimes I get the feeling that he's deliberately avoiding me. The fact that he refused to come to Egypt has opened a small wound in my heart. Maybe I was too confident, but I was convinced he would accept. And when I received that no, I was certain it would put an end to what had developed between us, to what we are. Instead, surprising me once again, he didn't, but he surprised me by giving me a book I wanted. It's not so much the gesture, undoubtedly appreciated, but more the thought he put into risking melting me like ice in the sun. I think he knows I like him, and a lot, and I would be truly naive to think it's not mutual. Yet, I don't know how far his attraction to me can go, if it's only physical or perhaps something more.

He's an extremely enigmatic man, and it's impossible for me to understand his emotions, he's so good at hiding and disguising them. He's so impenetrable that sometimes I get lost looking at him, trying to catch the slightest hint of vulnerability, losing myself in his beauty, in his dark eyes full of desire and passion. I want to be close to him, let myself be overwhelmed by his scent, bury my hands in those long, soft hair that I like so much, and feel the warmth of his skin against mine.

I'm thinking about this, watching him grade papers while sitting at the Faculty Lounge table, when Ronen and Mudiwa enter, abruptly pulling me from my comfortable cloud of desires and thrusting me back into the real world.

«Good morning, everyone!», Abraham booms with enthusiasm, addressing the two of us and Dinah, seated a few chairs away. He approaches Sharp and gives him a paternal pat on the shoulder: «And happy birthday, Aesop!».

Happy what?

«Happy birthday, Aesop! This seems like the perfect occasion to read the stars and know your horoscope for today, don't you think?», Mudiwa adds. In contrast, I furrow my brows. I had no idea it was Sharp's birthday, and I can't deny that finding out this way causes me a slight sadness. Sure, it's true that I never asked him when he was born, but no one (least of all him) even bothered to tell me. What's not clear yet about the fact that he doesn't open up to me?

Sharp leans back in his chair, resting his back and head against the backrest, sighing, visibly skeptical of Professor Onai's proposal: «Thank you for the wishes, but I'm reluctantly forced to decline your enticing offer, Mudiwa»

«Why not, though?», I say, and all four heads turn towards me, but I'm only focused on one of them. «Let's see what the stars have in store for you, Sharp, since it's such an important day». He looks at me sternly, surely sensing all the venom and resentment in my voice, stemming from the disappointment of learning such an important thing this way.