Mercy

Chapter 8

I lay in bed what feels like hours since arrived at my aunt's house. My head is spinning non-stop, like thoughts are circling in my mind. I'm trying to make sense everything in the last couple days how everything in my life went to shit. I know it's silly to be upset of everyone around me, cause it's not their fault that Jackson crawled back not just mine abut also everyone else's lives. 

Marcel lost his son. I'm just confuse why he felt how my presence will affect his son's choice to stay or leave again. How can I have such control over him, when he let go our relationship so easily. I know I was so in love with him that a piece of my heart will always be with him. We shared everything, our talks will last for hours, our families were great friends and I always thought after I finished college we end up living together but since that night, I knew it would either... I don't know because Jackson is the one who made the choice that changed the course of our lives.

It's still hurts that Aunt Justice kept the secret about Jackson's arrival from me, because his pops asked her too. I use to admire the friendship of our families, yet at the same time it was really annoying. My aunt and his dad becoming friends happened when we started dating, Marcel believed I was the love of his son's life. I was the reason he never wanted to come back home. Justice constantly telling that she never seen a man looked at a woman the way Jackson does with me. Even Lindy was jealous how much time we spend together, that she had to create schemes to invade our dates. My parents were nervous how quickly our relationship developed in the course of within few months. But a stupid naive girl I was, assured my parents I am in love. So stupid.

Staring up at the ceiling, with my AirPods listening to a sad song flowing through my ears, Losing Your Memory, by Ryan Star. He singing what I want to lose all my memories of him. Then the pain will be gone, however if it was possible I would be lost. It's funny how the one person can help you become who you are. 

I notice my aunt's head popped in of my bedroom door. I pulled my AirPods out and put them in the case. I rest my back against the bed stand, I waved my hand to signal her to come in.

"Robert just left, and I wanted if you want to go out for a late lunch or early dinner?" she asked, making her way to sit at the edge of my bed. Her hair in a messy bun, it amazing how she's so beautiful without any makeup. Robert's comment how we looked exactly alike makes me smile, because everyone's notice our similar appearance, and it was always annoyed my mother. She showed me pictures of herself and her sister when they were teenagers. And I pointed at my aunt, I thought that was my mother, I never seen her so hurt and yet covered it up with a forgiving a smile. She states I got my grandmother's dimples, I guess genetics skipped a generation to her younger sister. 

"I'm not really hungry" I shrugged my shoulders, I know my aunt is trying to find her opening to unpause our conservation from earlier. 

"Babygirl, you eat like your dad. Try again." she raised eyebrows, "I know you're still upset with me."

"I am. Not just at you, or Lindy. Maybe a little at Marcel" I wrapped my arms around my legs. "I'm mostly frustrated that no one thought to mention the asshole came back home also" I say.

"Trust me, everyone is angry at the said asshole, okay" she smirks. "I believe, we all wanted to protect you. I never seen you so depressed, you barely ate anything, and you wouldn't leave your bedroom. Lindy told me you didn't even wanted to edit your photos. I never thought my favorite girl would denied artistic talents, it was like you and your camera were soulmates. It terrified me seeing you so hurt, my heart was broke for you" she leaned in a little closer, "And I never want to see you like that ever again."

"Thank you, but I just..." I'm trying to explain but I feel my eyes watering up. "Seeing him again, brought up old memories from the past, that I thought I left behind," I say, gently wiping the tears away. "God, I hate him, okay?" I'm tighten my arms, hugging myself.