ꜱᴄᴀɴᴅᴀʟᴏᴜꜱ - ʜᴇᴇᴊᴀᴋᴇᴋɪ

✦ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-ᴏɴᴇ ✦

Jake - March 31st, 2026

After that atrociously long vacation, I was right back to work. That trip was just a game of considering how I'd tell Minnie I was leaving her while pretending I was fine. The whole time. It didn't help that Heeseung never responded to me.

I decided to be brave for once and text him this evening. I told him I was back and that if he wanted to talk, I'd be here. That was hours ago, and still, nothing.

I knew I'd hurt him and maybe it was too late to make amends. The last time I saw him, he looked so broken. And it was my fault. He deserved better than me, but I couldn't give up like that. Heeseung wasn't just some guy to me.

As I was focused on my computer, there was a quiet knock at my office door. I took a sharp inhale as I approached the door, straightening my coat before twisting the knob open.

Heeseung.

I guess Yeji had allowed him into the back? Without a word, he allowed himself inside my office and set his bag down near my desk. He turned to face me as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Come here."

I swallowed at his sudden order, quickly pressing the lock on my door before approaching him with quiet steps. I couldn't tell how he was feeling. Angry? Sad? Forgiving? It was a complete mystery.

"Have you talked to her yet?" Heeseung spoke coldly.

"I-"

"Yes or no, Jake. It's a simple answer."

I gulped before I replied, knowing he wouldn't be happy with my response. "No."

"I figured as much."

It wasn't hard to understand what he meant. He knew I didn't have much courage, and judging by his empty stare, he didn't have much patience left for me. My palms went sweaty with the anxiety; all I needed was one last chance.

I still remember the first time we met. I was attracted to his radiant smile, his pretty round eyes, and most of all, how much he cared for me. Just one more day, that's all I needed. "I'll say-"

"No, you won't, Jake," he grinned in an exhausted manner. "You won't tell her tonight, or tomorrow, or ever. You're never gonna tell her, and you know that."

"I will!" I pled, taking another step closer and lowering my voice. "We just got back yesterday, okay? I just need-"

Heeseung gripped my jaw tightly, causing me to pause and my cheeks to throb. "I don't want to hear it."

I didn't say another word. I stared up into his eyes, hoping to find at least a morsel of forgiveness deep within. I wasn't ready for him to go; I needed him more than air. I'd give up everything to keep him by my side.

Please stay with me, Heeseung. You're all that I need, here with me.

As if he could read my thoughts, his nose brushed mine as he pulled my face closer. We hovered there for a moment, feeling his breath tickle my skin. I could almost taste him; he was so close.

I cupped my hands around his neck, attempting to force our lips together. Heeseung finally obliged, kissing me deeply as his hands caressed my cheeks. My whole body felt like static, jolting when his body pressed deeply into mine.

He lifted me onto the desk, wrapping his arms around my waist. We wasted no time in reconnecting, kissing with more passion than we ever had before. My whole body clung to his tightly, with every hope of us staying together pouring through my movements. Being close to him, even when we weren't connected like this, made all of my worries disappear. He was the one for me; I could say that with confidence.

Heeseung's tongue pressed firmly against my lips, which parted to allow him to meet with my own. Goosebumps lined my skin with each lost breath, nearly suffocating under his kisses as a palm ran up and down my thigh. Even after we peeled apart for air, we held ourselves together.

Still, everything seemed to pass far too quickly. Only moments later, he was pulling out of my grasp, tugging me off my desk. He gave me a small smile, but his eyes never lie. He was upset, maybe even depressed. It made my stomach churn, knowing that this was all my fault. And yet, I still could never find the courage to devote myself to him, even though it was the only thing I wanted. No, needed.

I needed Heeseung.

After a long, awkward silence spent with us staring at each other, I swallowed at my dry throat and clasped my shaky hands together. "You're coming back, right?"

Heeseung traced his fingers into my hair gently as if he was afraid of messing it up. "Yeah...but...I should probably go for now."

I nodded, my stomach burning a little less now that I had that bit of relief. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. My eyes fluttered shut, taking in his warmth and the slight lavender scent of his skin. Again, these moments were far too short before we reluctantly pulled apart.

He leaned down and placed a small kiss on my cheek. "I'll miss you."

He stepped away and went for the door, only a few seconds passing before he vanished.

I stood there like an idiot, staring at that door for god knows how long.

I'll miss you.

I stewed on those words for many minutes. Heeseung said he was coming back, right? 

.   .   .   .   .

Heeseung - March 31st, 2026

I lied.

I wasn't coming back; I wouldn't even be dumb enough to consider it. I was done with Jake. He wasn't going to leave her. And most of all, he wasn't going to commit to me.

Everything Niki said was right. I had to move on, no matter how much it hurt.

Jake's number? Blocked and deleted. It had to be done. I knew on a lonely night, I'd call him if I didn't. My heart ached as I did it, full of regret. For months, I'd waited for the moment he'd tell me she was gone. That day never came, and even if it would someday, we were broken.

I shouldn't have kissed him, but I guess it was a "last hurrah."

I arrived home around thirty minutes later, entering the apartment with a sigh as I placed my keys on the rack. Thankfully, I didn't run into anyone on the way to my bedroom. I locked my door, tossed my bag on the ground, and fell face-first on my bed.

Then, I did something that I was basically an expert at. I cried. Time didn't exist anymore, nor did thoughts. All I did was sob; that's all I ever needed. Jake and I? We were done for good. 

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