ꜱᴄᴀɴᴅᴀʟᴏᴜꜱ - ʜᴇᴇᴊᴀᴋᴇᴋɪ

✦ ᴛʜɪʀᴛᴇᴇɴ ✦

Heeseung - March 9th, 2026

Another day off. In other words, another day to be left alone to daydream about Jake again. He was the first guy I'd ever kissed, and I wanted him to be my last. It was stupid to wait around for a guy who's already married, but I had nothing or nobody else. Without him, I'd be back to just me and my friends. If I can even call them that anymore.

I haven't heard from Jake since I'd kissed him. Not a single word. I haven't tried to reach out, though. I'm not sure what to say to him anymore. Maybe he's feeling the same way. I just had to pray that he wasn't leading me on. That he'd actually man up and say something.

I managed to drag myself out of bed before noon, which was a rarity when I didn't have work. My aching headache was only worsening, so I needed to eat. It was only 9 AM, so it was gonna be a long day.

My trip to the bathroom was quick; I simply brushed my teeth and combed my hair before I was out of there. I hadn't bothered with much else lately. Unless I was going out to meet with Jake, of course.

I entered the living room, and was met with a nice glare from Jungwon. He was hunched over in the corner of the couch, texting someone. I ignored him and started for the kitchen, until he actually spoke to me for once. "Sunoo's coming over soon."

Great.

I used to be so excited for these hangouts, but I already knew it'd become a blowout nowadays. Maybe I should just text Jake and ask him to meet up or something. "You want me to leave?"

"Uh...no?" Jungwon raised his hands. Which was a more disappointing response than the one I was expecting.

"Is Jay here?"

"No, but he's coming over."

"Okay," I sighed and continued on to the kitchen, reaching for the quickest thing to munch on so I could take some medication for this horrible headache.

Jungwon and I almost never spoke anymore since every time we'd end up nearly killing each other. He always says that I've changed, but he never sees his own faults. So it's basically pointless to try and reason with him.

This life of mine was absolutely miserable, completely lacking of a purpose. The constant fights, the repetitiveness, the lack of understanding. It was all becoming overwhelming. And my only hope was that Jake would pick me over his wife. Pick me, the guy he's known for a few months over the woman he's been with for years. I was being a complete idiot for waiting on him, but I felt like I could actually tell him things. Anything, really. I was just desperate for the attention, regardless of who it came from. So now that I had that, I was terrified to lose it.

I scarfed down the random protein bar I found in the pantry and sluggishly returned to the living room to join Jungwon on the couch. I sat awkwardly on the other side, staring at the black TV which was still switched off. I considered trying to start up some small talk with my roommate, but it was far too risky.