Paradigm Shift

Desperate measures

* * *
Dean

Seth's enthusiasm and fascination only seemed to grow as the weeks passed. He wanted to know everything from where I stored my blood to how it felt to experience different human scents and even though I was concerned by his behaviour; I indulged him, showing him everything and answering questions he had. It was a relief to talk about being a vampire and not have to keep it a secret anymore, but Seth was growing frustrated with me. When I told him I was 'vegetarian' he scoffed and said it wasn't natural. He also disagreed with me over my reluctance to kill in order to feed, insisting that I would be more satisfied if I actually killed an animal before drinking its blood. He also insisted that I should use my abilities inside the ring and didn’t seem to understand how dangerous it would be if I did. He failed to understand why I had struggled with being a vampire, and he wasn't shy about letting me know how different he would be given the opportunity. Every day, he came to my hotel room and lectured me about my lifestyle, and I was understanding why he was acting the way he was. He was jealous.

"What do you think a vampire is, Dean?"

Seth's question came not long after he made his way into my hotel room and I sighed. "Good evening to you too Seth"

"You're holding on to what you were as a human, and that's not what you are now. That Dean died when you became a vampire"

From the way he was talking, you would think he was an expert on vampires, but he had only known about the existence of them for a few weeks. He hadn't lived it like I had.

"You know you have a lot to say on the subject considering you do not know what it's actually like to be a vampire" I reminded him "I'm sorry if you dont agree with the way I chose to live, but It's my life and I'll live it however I want"

"Does it make you happy, though?" Seth asked "Living like this?"

''Like what?'' I asked

''Living a half life because you let what you are restrict you'' Seth answered

''Who said I was living a half life?'' I asked defensively

''It's obvious just from what you've told me'' Seth answered

"It gives me peace of mind, ok!" I admitted. ''It makes me feel less like a blood-sucking parasite''

"Vampires have abilities for a reason, Dean, and if you don't use them, then you're only making your life harder than it needs to be!" Seth stated

"Is that really how you see it?" I asked in amazement as waves of annoyance came off him. ''What am I supposed to do then?...seduce every woman I meet...spend my nights hunting down animals so that I can kill and feed from them?''

''Now you're just being ridiculous'' Seth huffed

''Am I?'' I continued. ''You don't know how hard it is just to be backstage every day with so many wrestlers wandering around. I have to constantly stop myself from biting them and on top of that I have to wrestle while making sure I don't use my vampire strength and end up hurting someone. Yet you stand there and have the nerve to tell me I'm not living the way I should be. I struggle just to get through every single day!.''

"But that's what I'm trying to explain to you. Why do you need to struggle? Surely there has to be an easier way'' Seth replied. "Your human nature still rules you, and that's your major flaw. You'll never truly be happy as a vampire if you keep living in the past"

What Seth was saying made sense, and I questioned myself for a moment. Should I be acting the way Seth says I should?. Was Seth's view on things what vampires were supposed to act like? I was going to potentially live for hundreds of years. In a strange loop between being eternally young and eternally ancient, and just the thought of it made me uneasy. Did I really want to struggle for however long I'd live for?. 

That night I finally learnt how to rest, but when I did, I had visions. Horrible visions of being exposed as a vampire to everyone and being experimented on like a lab rat. I had visions of losing all my friends and family in short succession and being left with no one. I also saw my mother and her horrified reaction to what I was. So I tried to only rest lightly, but it was difficult. I had hoped that by telling Roman and Seth what I was, I could confide in them, but Seth just lectured me and Roman had been avoiding me ever since he found out I was a vampire. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Seth heard a popping noise and looked down at his knee as he felt the familiar uncomfortable feeling of his joint moving out of place. He tried to stand, attempting to straighten his leg out, only for a sharp pain to shoot up his spine. The pain was so intense that he could hardly stand it. He'd hurt his knee before, several times in fact, but this was bad, he could tell. Something was different this time. Deep down, Seth knew this was the one. The career ending injury that would put him on the bench for good. Seth knew he'd run out of luck one day and he felt sick to his stomach as he led on the trainer's table with an ice pack on his knee. His knee had swollen to almost twice its size and as the doctor returned, from the look on his face alone, he knew he was correct with his assumption. After the doctor told Seth that it was unlikely his knee could be surgically repaired, he zoned out. The door to the trainer's room opened and Dean made his way inside. Dean sniffed the air, and his nose wrinkled at the strong smell of disinfectant. He took in the sight of Seth laying on the examination table and once he was satisfied he wasn't bleeding; he approached the younger man. 

"What's the verdict?" 

"I'm finished" Seth replied sadly. He was so frustrated with being the weakest link in his and Dean's tag team and his damaged knee had caused them to lose their tag team championships. "Surgery's not gonna cut it this time"

Misery was Seth's main emotion, but alongside it was also regret, frustration, and sorrow. 

"What do you mean?. Surly there's something that can be done?" Dean asked.

Tears welled up in Seth's eyes. "I've injured my knee three times now, and it's damaged so much that it can't be repaired anymore...wrestling is all I've ever wanted to do. I have no Plan B. If I'm not a wrestler then what am I, Dean? I'm too young to retire"

Dean is unsure of what to say as he helps Seth back to his locker room, carrying most of his weight as they make their way through the backstage area. Once they are inside, Seth sobs as his mood turns desperate. 

"Will you help me, Dean?"

"Of course I'll help you" Dean assured ''what do you need?''

Seth looked at Dean directly in the eye. "Will you change me into a vampire?"

Dean's eyes damn near bulge out of his head. "What!?"

"Think about it. If you change me, I'll be healed. It's the only way I can carry on wrestling" Seth explained. "Do you want me to beg you? Because I will, if it means you'll do it." 

''Of course I don't-''

''Please Dean'' Seth begged. ''If I ever meant anything to you, then help me. Please''

"Don't do this to me" Dean pleaded. "I could kill you. It would only take a second, it would be so quick you'd barely notice what was happening..."

"You weren't given a choice but I'm choosing this" Seth mumbled, ignoring Dean's warning. "I want this and I'm asking you...as a friend...to help me"

"You wouldn't be able to stop me and I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I've only just leant how to be a vampire and I'm certainly in no position to change anyone. I wouldn't even know how..."

Annoyance, disbelief, sadness and desperation came off Seth in waves as his eyes narrowed. "Get out"

"What-"

"Get out of my locker room and close the door behind you" Seth ordered

''Seth, don't be like this-''

''LEAVE!!''

Dean did what Seth asked, and Seth waited until he was sure Dean was gone before he stood up. He adjusted his weight on his crutches and slowly made his way towards the door. 'You don't want to help me. Fine'  Seth mumbled. 'I'll do it myself'